Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Wrong Clark (169/???)

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

Yes, you heard right. It's the week of the wedding.

Comments go here.

Wait, I can't be the first to comment since the 23rd! Must have been some replies lost in the transfer or something!

At first, I was afraid Jack was going to see Clark flying with Lois or something! It's getting very frustrating how he keeps hanging back, though. I mean, yeah, I get that he's nervous, but why didn't he speak up once he realized the woman with Clark was Lois? I would think he'd be more comfortable with her than him anyway.

Lois must be really desperate to avoid Lex during the daytime to still be working at LNN. Talk about hitting her head against a wall! Though the director, Robertson, is an interesting character. Clearly he has a little integrity in there. How did he ever get so far working at LNN?

*pssst* You call him Robinson in the first paragraph and then switch to Robertson for the rest.

Interesting angle with Lexel and money laundering. I'd never thought of that one before, but it certainly would explain why Lex had the paper so well insured despite his plans to destroy it.

Speaking of money laundering, I wonder if the new washer in Lois's apartment has a setting for cash. HA!!!



LOIS: What a way to go!

From the description, I agree, Martha had WAY WAY WAY too much fun with those clothes. UGH. It's probably a good thing he didn't run into Bobby, because I agree with Clark, the reaction would not have been pretty.

I'm guessing the two guys, Pete and John, are the ones that helped frame Jimmy for the bombing? Let's hope Superman gets to that grocery store and catches them, giving them a little incentive to squeal.

Colleen: Hi, Colleen! Thanks for dropping by.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, in Darth Michael's case, since the upgrade ate many of his previous posts), nobody else has had time this week to comment on my little story. That's okay. I'm sure there are still people out there reading, besides you. With the board shut down, the auctions, Easter, etc., people have been busy.

He did. That's what the hot pink blur was; not Superman's cape, but Lois's dress. Only Jack didn't realize what he saw.

By the time he realized who "Minnie" was they turned the corner and it was too late.

I figure that LNN had to go on after Lex committed suicide in canon, so maybe there were *some* decent people there. But everyone wanted to shut poor Robertson into a box, just because he had the misfortune of doing well at LNN.

Ooops. Thanks. Fixed. I'm still working on my new OneNote file of all the characters I've created for this epic.

When you start watching an episode over and over and over again to catch the exact dialogue, you pick up things and mull them over again as you've never have before. Since they haven't learned about Lex's... er... the Boss's protection racket, yet, they need to figure out things in a different way.

Oh, that's bad.

My betas and I debated this line as I wasn't sure if it was too much. One of them loved the dark humor of it, the other thought Clark would rather Lois married to Lex over her death and would never even consider this option. If Lois didn't die when Clark expected her to, boy, wouldn't that be a surprise.

LOIS: What do you mean, 'I didn't die'?

In canon, she always seems to get obsessed with stuff and because she doesn't have any real outlet except farming, I figured she'd enjoy this experiment in faking hobo clothing.

Yes, Pete and John Black are the two guys who framed Jack in canon.

Thanks for taking time to comment.

Clark would kill her with sex to prevent her from marrying Luthor? That's .... not right. Why would Clark contemplate murdering her? Wouldn't he just run away with her like he was thinking before?

I like how you addressed the insurance issue. It never made sense to me why he would insure the business with his own insurance company. That's just moving money from one pocket to another, and he would still have the loss of the building. It doesn't net him anything.

Mrs. Mxyzptlk: Thanks for popping in to me.

Too much, huh? So, you think he should just kidnap her and take her to a deserted island, instead of let her marry Luthor if she decided to in order to resurrect the Daily Planet?

I figure this is more of a fleeting thought and that when push came to shove, he couldn't actually go through with.

LOIS: Of course he wouldn't. You've met Clark, right? He's Mr. Wishy-Washy.

CLARK: I knew deep in my heart that you'd never choose Luthor over running away with me.


Thanks. It hadn't made sense to me either.

Thanks for your comments.

I know that Clark can be creepy and stalker-ish even on a good day, but contemplating cold-blooded murder is way out of character. I would expect that it wouldn't even occur to Clark to kill Lois to keep her away from Luthor.

Taking her to a deserted island, even against her will, is a much better solution and seems much more like the sort of impulsive thing he would do. Then he would have time to convince her that marrying Lex is a terrible idea (and not to press charges for kidnapping her). But his previous thought was that Lois wouldn't go through with the wedding no matter what. I had interpreted that to mean that Clark knew that she wouldn't ever be willing to go through with it. Only in retrospect did it seem like Clark meant that she would never marry him because he would go to any lengths to prevent it, no matter what she wanted.

So.... he meant figurative making love? As he wouldn't do it literally?

LOIS: Say, what?

That's always a possibility, but I think that MLT has already used that plot.

Yes, that's more what he (I) meant. A option of last resort, which he doubted he would ever need to use.

/nods/ Very busy with auction and reporting board issues. Will see what tomorrow brings. Plus, Thursday is a holiday over here, so...

Michael

So, now for the catching up part… Or is it catching up on parts?
Working as male-order prostitutes?

She’s better in the sack than her previous boyfriends gave her credit for?

Pizza delivery? And he hoped to score with the recipient since Clark had told him to give Lois his best?



So, red cape and blue…suit?

But him holding Lois is quite fun, too.
CLARK: So much fun!

Oooh! Is this reason why small children are taken to the mall to visit Santa?

He has to keep his dalliances quiet. Lois owns a watch and knows how to use it.

What did he do to his skank of the ball back there? And will she be alive come the morrow?

No, it meant that she knew he had caught 8 women in his web.


JACK: What a *stud*!

I just realized something! He’s a Mormon adhering to the traditional practices! Either that, or he’s a Kryptonian Lord, having purchased several concubines.
LOLA: *Purchased*?

Drunk on love. And some cheap booze Ralph left over at the wedding?

Poor guy, good thing he’s wearing leaded underwear.

He’s very experienced with the volatile sex?



So, LNN got good AV software?

Apparently, he did.

ROBERTSON: I have not worked Mondays to Thursday all the way till lunch to have you turn LNN into a joke! If you want to sully Superman’s reputation, do it in a clever way. A way that doesn’t look like we’re reprinting the Pravda!

Or goes on maternity leave. Whichever comes first.

What about a wanted-poster when interviewing for a place at the police academy?
ZED:

Hmm…I think he’s not really understood the concept of a ‘wet dream’, has he?

Prof. Daitch?
LOIS: Close enough, so long as it gets my snugglebums out of the spotlight.

So, lots of businesses are ‘buying insurance’ and then they just go away again. But of course, Lex still needs to drain the funds back out of the insurance business?

No wonder Lois hasn’t found a thing.
LOIS: Is that a cooking joke?

Business ‘buying insurance’…

They could have Clark put Lex down Kryptonian style.


LOIS: Now, where did all my fancy underwear go…

Awww…look! He’s gotten a poor man’s Creepy Bunker Apartment™ set up!

Maybe he doesn’t want to know? Or, maybe, he already put up cameras, figured out just what a skank he’s about to get into, and then had the indoor equipment set up so the marriage would still go through since that’s the only way Betsy is going to allow him to have some fun with his soon be dearly departed soon to be new wife?

For breaking and entering Lois’s apartment?

Well, even if he said he just decided to pocket the money, all they’d have him for would be him being a scuzzball.

Well…if you look at the history books, a lot of women have said ‘yes’ to scuzzballs for quite less money.
RALPH: One just said ‘yes’ to me for a nifty 50 bucks the other night!

Wouldn’t she need to die during the process to achieve martyrdom?
LOIS: Hello! Not going to want to live after Lex, so…
CLARK:

Aww…Clark!
CLARK: What? At least she’d go out happy!

Funny thing. Did you watch the NCIS episode with Tony as a hobo two weeks ago?

Good thing Lois got a stronger bladder?
CLARK: It’s why I always carry Ralph or other crooks away from my body.

Sheep shifting:

Truffles, caviar, quail eggs, and Champagne?

SEWER LEX: I shall venture to eat at the Fifths more often.

That’s how he justifies that he almost *didn’t* help? What is he, a cop worried about due process and lawfully obtained evidence?


Since Clark thought ‘The Boss’ was a name a couple of paragraphs up, wouldn’t it be capitalized here, too?

So, this is like a time traveling douche robbing the gunshop were he first asked to try out the gun being sold.

And he wants to look like a city douche bag instead?
SUPERMAN: Hey! I wear hair gel.
BATMAN: Case and point.

I thought that was a paternal trait?
DOUCHE BAG #1: And you think our mother didn’t do *two* douche bags in a row?



So, Douche #1 is saying that he’s not into putting pointy objects into chicks, only dudes?

Huh, why do I have the feeling that they’re talking about roughing up, and in case of Douche #1, then having carnal knowledge of that buff homeless dude that’s following them. And have they not watched *any* TV show, where the crazed serial killers often go after their lowlife victims dressed as homeless dudes?

Michael

Darth Michael: FDK!

My... it sure took a long time to get to Thursday. (I'm hoping that you were distracted by writing your story and Betaing Sue's story. If not, just cross your fingers and lie by saying you were. I'll believe you.)

Two Weeks Later...

Plural. I see the 10 Quote limit has also gone out the window.

JIMBO: Um... Okay. Female clients only, please.

That's the rumor. Sadly, the only one who might know the truth recalls the event as total fantasy.

LOIS: Well, that proves I'm better, doesn't it?

Nope. Since this is still the night of Cat's wedding, Lois is working her... cough... kinks out at the gym.



Lois in a hot pink dress, being carried by a man in blue suit and red cape. /also, if the blue and red blurred/blended wouldn't it make purple/

JACK: Ultra Woman!

So much so, he might not let her go.

My experience shows that it's a good way to scare them into behaving, because Santa is SCARY (due to all the power he holds).

Um... she left the watch at her dojo.

He brought her back to his place to shower and change into a different disguise. No time for more.

CLARK: Phew.
LOIS:

Well, let's see. There's Lois, Lola, Minnie, Wanda, Cat, Lucy, Toni and Toni?

Yep.
CLARK: How do these rumors get started?

CHING: Exactly. They were given to his lordship for free.
LEX: I like this society. Mrs. Cox, draft a memo!

More the former than the latter. If Cat didn't invite anyone from work except Clark, it's doubtful that Ralph got an invite.

He's still learning.

It was outsourced to LexLabs computer division. They do.

That's not what she meant.

There must be something to LNN if it survived Lex's downfall.

LOIS: I'm not pregnant!
LEX: Give me time.
CLARK: So, not happening.

He doesn't really find Lois and Lex together exciting in that way.

Um... the person who created the virus.

Hence when companies go "boom".

And a good one!

I believe the implication was that Lexel Insurance was paying out more to LexCorp/Lex Luthor than it was receiving in.

SUPERMAN: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?

CLARK: Underwear? I knew I forgot something.

CLARK: Nope. Just a short visit to Kansas before hitting the open road.

LOIS: AIR. He meant 'air', right? This isn't going to be a road trip is it?

Maybe.

HENDERSON: That's about it.

Being that the money was to rebuild the DP, wouldn't that count as insurance fraud?

HOOKER: And regretted it.

Some people say surviving torture is worse than dying.

LOIS: 30 Seconds! That's all I...?

Unfortunately, not. I don't get live TV anymore. I'm about 5 years behind on my NCIS.

Superman has NEVER carried Ralph.

SUPERMAN's FOUNDATION, not Lex's. Milk, eggs, flour, meat, etc.

By that time, doesn't Bobby have a paying gig again?

Touche!

Possibly. It could also be that until he has prove that their boss is THE Boss, he keeps it lowercase in his mind?

Not that smart. He just wants to swipe some hair gel at the same time.



Let's just assume the Black brothers have the same father.

PETE BLACK: See!

Different circumstances. Different pointy objects.

CLARK: Now, that would be just plain stupid in this case.

Thanks for the funny FDK!

Clients who represent themselves as ‘female’?

So, she’s fantastic?





I guess those work?

Who knows…



What one gets for being ambiguous with mobsters who have joined an A/V club?

Hmm… is that an excessive comma there or did Clark simply state that since Lex won’t be getting more time, it’s not happening? Works nicely, either way.

yeah, but in lieu of that, wouldn’t any stooge do?
LEX: That’s why I had Superman framed.

Thank you

LORD NOR :rolleyes:

So, not interested in spending days on the highway and cheesy motels with Clark, while he points out the interesting bits about the land they’re traveling through?
CLARK: And this is the Shonash Ravine…
LOIS: Clayton Ravine…

No, I don’t think so. Insurance money is usually not earmarked.



Could still volunteer, no?



Michael

JIMBO: Um... Why would I want that?

LOIS:

CLARK: I never had any doubts in that department.

Oh, so innocent.

LOIS: There's just no winning, is there?

CLARK: Now, she understands my predicament.

I, did, mention, about being a, wayward, er, recovering, comma slut, didn't I? It's why I have the best betas out there!

LOIS: No. I want things to be RIGHT, not just Right for now.

We'll just have to wait and see...

Not even for businesses?

Hmm, on the insurance thing, I'm going to venture that it COULD depend on exactly what kind of ownership Lex has over the Daily Planet. I'm assuming he's at least majority shareholder, but it's unlikely he's the sole shareholder, so he would have had to report to other shareholders on the insurance proceeds and, I'm guessing, distribute amongst them after all expenses related to closing out the DP are paid off. So he could have reported on only the smallest of the insurance claims, perhaps even claiming it was all used up paying any bills the DP owed, and then pocketed the rest for himself. THAT would certainly be fraudulent.

But then, I'm not an expert in corporate law, let alone how exactly insurance figures in there. I'm just extrapolating on what I understand about publicly shared companies.

Of course, bombing your own company and taking the insurance is fraud, obviously. But you have to prove culpability in the first place.

Because it’s funnier that way for the audience?

Because the other Clark gave his Lois raving reviews?
CANON CLARK: Dude, you haven’t been with a woman until you’ve been with a Lois Lane! I never had better.





I wouldn’t think so.



Michael

In this story, the Daily Planet was a privately owned company managed by the Board of Directors (hence why they needed their approval for the sale). It was purchased by Lex under his LexCorp umbrella. I, too, am not knowledgeable in corporate law, let alone, any type of law. I try to let my vagueness fill in the cracks.

JIMBO: Again, why would *I* want that?



CLARK: How could I say no to THAT?

That would be like having your house burn down, getting money from your homeowners insurance, and blowing it all on a trip to Paris.

LEX: So? Paris is beautiful in the springtime.

EW: It's so... so... Wrong?!

LEX /aside to the reader/: She doesn't understand me, does she?

EW /aside to the readers/: Please don't answer that!

Nobody told him that he’s just the comedic relieve?
PERRY: Hey, don’t look at me. It’s not Season Two yet!

He got no idea that Canon Clark isn’t talking from a wealth of experience, does he?
CLARK:

Yeah, you could do that. But it might be financially unwise and legally questionable due to the security fraud laws. Now, if you where to happen to suffer catastrophic fire damage due to the weather…

Michael

S1 JIMMY:

Then you deserve a vacation?