Oh wow! I never expected this kind of response, and I'm very thankful to all of you who enjoyed this part. Personally, I was very reluctant with this story -- I felt in many ways that the first part dragged on relentlessly, and that Lois would never get to where I wanted her to go. But now in retrospect I see that this really set my story up. That it really defined it, and to quote Martha Stewart, "It's a good thing."
I appreciated everybody's comments and gentle suggestions for longer parts, there were a few comments I wanted to address:
Laurach asked:
So is this about Mason and their long lost weekend?
Well, the way I sort of saw it initially, was the ill-fated kiss between Clark and Mayson that Lois saw through Clark's window, but in all honesty, it could really lie anywhere between the arrival of Mayson, and a before the almost-date, I would think. Hopefully, a conclusion can be seen by the end -- for me as well
Wendymr said:
You have a wonderful writing style - I'm very envious.
Are ya kidding? Your stories were some of the stories that really got me reinterested in this fandom. If anyone is envious, it's me!
Tank said:
Lois is bummed, big time.
Good summary -- maybe that's the description I should send along with it if I submit to archive
Hazel said:
...it's a rare first-person POV story that's well written, and this one certainly is! I don't know why, but first person POV slips between past and present tense more easily than regular third person POV. Not only do you avoid that error, but you've got a really beautiful and evocative writing style.
Wow! Thank you! I'm glad I didn't commit a POV faux pas, although while reading over some of the parts I did find a slip up -- but it was promptly remedied!
And thank you for that stylistic comment; it helps me define my writing when I can take the opinions of others.
And thanks Liz, Julie, José, Maria, Lynn, Tricia, DoubleL, CC, Kathy, and Merry for your kind words, and equally appreciative prodding. Hopefully some of the parts in the future agree with your demands
And a specially huge, thank you to Kaethel! She encouraged me, and gave me praise I never expected, and still leaves me blushing. You rock, my friend, in the best possible way.
-Jo
