Hi Jenni,
After Jenn already recommended your story to me a while back, I finally came around to reading it and I have to say I'm glad I did
I don't know the fic continued in this, but you managed to slip the back story in so naturally that it didn't distract me from reading - it did, however, make me want to read that story, too.
In the first part, you conveyed very ambiguous feelings: on the one hand there is this sense that the Kents are a truly happy family, but there is also a sense of something like gloom or unease. They are together and they are a family, but there are still some levels on which they might not fully have reconnected. Without having read The Forgotten (and without you spoon-feeding your audience), I still very much sensed that there were painful memories to be dealt with on all sides. I really felt with Clark and his fears of not fitting in anymore, of being a burden or a disappointment.
I especially love the interaction between your Lois and Clark. They both want to be strong for each other and deeply care for one another - and I love that they are still very much a couple, that they share an emotional bond as well as a physical attraction.
It was also great how you introduced the kids. I like how you do it gradually, without overdoing it. And it's nice that you portray something resembling a regular family life, where the children do care for their parents, but where other things (like who gets to be in the bathroom for how long) can be equally important
I especially like the little things like Jimmy being 'Jim' now and really having grown as a person - and as a reporter
(And I like that your characters are sometimes still slipping back into the habit of calling him "Jimmy" - it just happens.)
The parts at the Planet seem very realistic to me (not that I have any idea about the workings of a newspaper): all the new technology, databases and info screens Clark has to get used to - and you really got me interested in your A plot. Also (with Jenn being your beta and all), I feel like I'm actually learning something about the current newspaper business
So now that I'm reading part four, I love the interaction in the kitchen: a little sweetness, tenderness, sadness - and those little tidbits about Mac and Marge got me even more interested in reading The Forgotten
Thinking she looked adorable with that smear of stuffing on her cheek, Clark quickly kissed her lips. Since his return, he couldn't get enough of kissing Lois.
awwww
“Wow!” Lois' eyes were wide open. “And I thought Kansas crop worshiping was bad ... It just goes to show you don't know how other people live.”
LOL
“If you'd been an ordinary man, you could have gotten sick, or been killed crossing the road ... and our jobs are dangerous. Any number of criminals could have tried to take revenge ...” Her voice failed for a second; that scenario still applied, and she didn't want to go down that road today. Her chin firmed as she locked glances with Clark. “I never had any regrets. OK, that's not true. I regretted your absence every single day of those years, but I wouldn't have changed one moment of the time we shared together. It just hurt so much when I thought it was over.”
The whole scene around this paragraph (but this especially) almost made me cry: it's sweet and sad and heartbreaking in a way, but I'm so glad they are able to talk about all this and share their feelings
“Hi, Son,” Clark replied. “You'll have to blame your mother for looking so cute with that stuffing smeared on her face. I couldn't resist ...”
“What?” Lois repeated, but she squirmed away from Clark and ran over to a small mirror on the back wall. She swiped at her face with the dish towel which was clutched forgotten in her hand. “Why didn't you tell me?” she demanded, giving Clark a reproving glance.
“I was getting around to removing it myself.”
“Oh, gross!” Matt harrumphed and went to raid the fridge for a snack.
Love Matt's reaction - very realistic
The sounds from the outside office faded into the background as Clark resumed his pacing back to the book-lined wall. Lois couldn't help but notice that while he walked, his right hand tugged subconsciously at the stump of his missing finger. Over the years, Lois had become accustomed to all Clark's mannerisms, but this was a new sign of tension, and one which tore her heart in two. It reminded her of the terrible things he'd gone through while they were apart.
As I said, I like how you add little details such as this "new sign of tension", it *is* heartbreaking, but it really adds depth to the story.
This is such a great tale, I look forward to seeing how you will develop the plot as well as your characters further.
Thanks a lot for sharing
Eva
