The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has announced the 2021 winners! My favorite from the Fantasy & Horror Dishonorable Mention is:

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Our story begins in the cozy cottage of Bynnoldh-Dyr, son of Asgwitch-Torgwyr, in the idyllic elven village of Myrthffolwrd, but our book actually begins some two hundred pages earlier, in which you are pummeled by irrelevant history and unpronounceable names, because my publisher is paying me by the word.

Neil B Harrison, Springville, UT

I love to read these. I always get at least a chuckle out of them.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing