This is an interesting story, very believable, and it's made more so by the immediacy of the present tense narrative. You've captured Lois' anger and terror and frustration and heart-in-a-mixmaster state of mind very well. Makes me wish I could write with that much emotion.

And - Welcome Back! party If this story is a representative sample, we need more of your offerings on the boards.



Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing