Thanks all of you for your help. After reading the comments, I think I've figured this out.
I probably like the first part better as a stand alone story. I certainly like the symbolism of the sparks - which doesn't have the same punch in the alternate part.
However, I agree with the majority here. In order for this part to fit in with the rest of the parts, I think I have to go with the alternate version.
This should become even more obvious when you read part eight (the final part) which I'll be posting in a few minutes.
Anyway, thanks everyone for all your comments. They were very helpful.
