Yesterday, I went to my sister's church because her kids were appearing in a Christmas Pageant where superheroes fill the roles of all the usual characters.

Narrator: Lois Lane
Mary: Wonder Woman
Gabriel: The Flash
Innkeeper: Batman
Wise Men: Cyborg, Spiderman, and Catwoman
Shepherds: Aquaman and Harley Quinn
Herod: Lex Luthor

There was no Joseph, because the kids decided unanimously that Wonder Woman doesn't need a man. All the roles were played by kids, except Lex Luthor, who was played by an adult.

The angel Flash appears to Diana on Paradise Island, telling her that she will be gifted with a son, who she will name Clark Kent, aka Superman.

Meanwhile, President Lex Luthor has sent an order to all the people in the United States that no immigrants will be allowed in. Nevertheless, Wonder Woman makes her way to the town of Smallville, Kansas.

Batman tells her there's no room for her, but she might find space in the cornfields. A shooting star lands at her feet, containing a baby boy (played by my niece's baby doll).

The Flash appears to two farmers, Aquaman (fish) and Harley Quinn (corn). They're seriously freaked out by the Speed Force, but the Flash tells them the good news, and they go to see baby Clark Kent/Superman (accompanied by Aquaman's fish).

Lex Luthor hears about this and summons the wise superheroes, telling them to go find this baby and tell him where he is, so he can come and see him, too. The three wise superheroes arrive in Smallville, bringing gifts -- a Superman t-shirt, a red cape, and ruby slippers. Then they leave another way, leaving Luthor to sulk.


"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland