The character emotion is so evident in your writing. Loving how you tie in their thoughts so perfectly within the dialogue and events around them. Great part, but come on!!!
You gave me hope with:
“Clark, I — ”
“Lois, I’m — ”
“ … love you, too.”
“ … Superman.”
and then shattered it with:
“And to think — ”
Her breath hitched.
“ ... I thought I was in love with you.”
Lois Lane, federal disaster, strikes again, she thought dully.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Please no!
FROM PART 4
I knew you wanted to tell me
In your voice there was something wrong
But if you would turn your face away from me
You cannot tell me you’re so strong
— “The Path of Thorns (Terms),” Sarah McLachlan
PART 3
Unravel me, untie this cord
The very center of our union is caving in
I can’t endure
I am the archive of our failure
— “Black and White,” Sarah McLachlan
PART 2
So it's better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
— "Full of Grace," Sarah McLachlan
PART 1
Deep within I'm shaken
By the violence of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
— "Do What You Have to Do," Sarah McLachlan
I am a huge Sarah McLachlan fan and using her lyrics to begin each story is not only creative on your part, but amazingly fitting for this story. Just promise me you'll use the lyrics to "Ice Cream" by the last part.
Great work, please post again soon!!!
-Seema
