Hello Thaeri,
I don't actually use chat myself except for the Kerth ceremonies. I only know about #lanekent and #loisclark because each year I duck into one of these two channels in order to test my IRC software preparatory to the ceremony. They should be available via an Undernet server, though.
I'm not sure why you aren't seeing them; it has absolutely nothing to do with privacy. I have found Lois & Clark fandom to be a warm and welcoming environment, and I hope you do the same. The only restrictions I have seen are those imposed to restrict minors from gaining access to "adult" fiction.
I wish I could give you more help, but perhaps someone who uses chat more frequently will be able to chime in.
Joy,
Lynn
