Hi Annie!

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Origins, or, How Jar-Jar Binks Saved Superman


[Linked Image]

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Five of the most powerful men in America stood on the platform, awaiting their turn to be "sold" as "slaves" for a week to support charity.
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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Bruce Wayne practiced his vacuous look
Selina already made sure to have enough money to by him?

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Donald Trump checked his comb-over and plotted to buy Luthor so he could learn the secret to good hair;
rotflol

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and Arnold Schwarzenegger flexed his muscles.
He’ll be back next year?

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One by one, the men were sold. Schwarzenegger was purchased by Warner Bros., which promised him the role of a lifetime as a powerful villain who played ice hockey with diamonds.
Boy, will he look disappointed when Batman Forever (?) is finished…

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Bruce Wayne was bought by a willowy brunette who traded a rare diamond for him (one which bore a suspicious resemblance to one stolen from a museum in Gotham, but hey, it was for charity)
rotflol See? /points to above note/

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(she wanted answers to questions, such as: why does Superman look so much like Clark, and, why did Superman always show up after Clark made a lame excuse and ran off?)
I guess she’ll have to do an under-the-hood inspection of her merchandise, then…

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Then, from out in the audience, there came a shout. "Meesa bid 12 million Republic credits!"
LEX: shock Republic Dataries? Republic Dataries are no good here!

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knocking over several people and making children everywhere cry.
rotflol And not to forget the grown men! Never forget the grown men in white armor!

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Superman and Bruce Wayne exchanged a look, then stared at the creature, ready to stop him if he did anything.
What if he stumbles and pushes a sharp object into Lex’s chest?
SUPERMAN: huh
BRUCE WAYNE: [Linked Image]

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From Naboo, which go blasten last week
Oh, Jar Jar…

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"12 billion Republic credits!" Jar-Jar countered.
shock You can buy 1.2 million YT-1300 for that much money! Or a Mark II Imperial class Star Destroyer.

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Luthor fainted. Superman and Bruce Wayne looked at each other, then shrugged. It looked like Luthor was going to get his comeuppance at last.
rotflol

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"Meesa see Lex Luthor for sale, and meesa think, 'Lexi has muy muy muy science smarts. He can build me a time machine!'"
TEMPUS: [Linked Image]

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Luthor shuddered and took the plans from the Gungan. As he looked them over, his eyes narrowed and he smiled. "Jar-Jar, I think you may be onto something."
Oh boy…

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"Where is dis?" Jar-Jar asked, looking around at the strange world Luthor's machine had brought them to. "This no look like Naboo."

"Of course not, you idiot." Luthor smiled triumphantly. "This is Krypton."
Oh boy. So, time travel takes a planet to achieve? And Lex will cause Krypton to gosa boom boom, thus making Kal-El fly to Earth?
LEX: wallbash

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"And so I have. This is Krypton, Superman's home planet, just before it exploded. We are going to stop the explosion."
Yes. He will *so* cause this explosion in the first place.

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If Superman never comes to Earth, then I shall rule Metropolis, and then America, and then the world!" He laughed evilly, then stopped, realizing that he sounded like a Scooby-Doo villain.

"And bring peace to da galaxy and stop the muy big boom!" Jar-Jar added.
Oh Jar Jar…
JAR JAR: But mesa favorite chancellor Palpatine also promising peace to entire galaxy!

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“I know,” Jor-El said. “It has about ten years, if nothing is done.”

“Ten years?” Luthor looked at them in confusion, then at the baby. “So … who is that?”
JAR JAR: Oopsie?

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“No!” Jor-El shouted. “That machine is very delicate. It can prevent Krypton from exploding if used correctly, but if used incorrectly, it will destroy it immediately!”
LEX: But…but…but…
DARTH TEMPUS: cool Don’t you just *love* the irony!
YODA: Irony will lead to Mad Dog Lane. Mad Dog Lane will lead to Lovey Dovey Clark. Lovey Dovey Clark will lead to Suffering.
LEX: wallbash
YODA: See? Hurt his head now does.

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“Nobody panic! Everyone is to report to their family’s evacuation ship immediately! Be sure to secure all infants in the smaller life pods! Hurry! You have only a few minutes!” There was a loud rumble, followed by an explosion. “Oh, %$^$#%!” the voice shouted before the intercom was abruptly cut off.
[Linked Image]

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Luthor grabbed the baby from Lara’s arms, intending to throw him into the gaping hole that had opened in the floor.
[Linked Image] Only very bad people kill younglings!
ANAKIN: [Linked Image]
[Linked Image]

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Distracted by Lara’s attack, Luthor couldn’t stop Jar-Jar from snatching the baby from him. Kal-El, who had been screaming, looked at Jar-Jar’s face and started giggling.
GEORGE: See? Babies *like* him!

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“You idiot!” Jor-El shouted. “The coordinates weren’t finished! He was supposed to go to New Krypton! Now he’ll wind up on Earth!”

The look on Lex’s face was priceless.
LEX: [Linked Image]

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There would be time to contemplate their strange familiarity later — assuming Lois let him live.
laugh

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He knew he was in trouble when she looked at him and murmured, “Clark, you have a lot of explaining to do.”
CLARK: [Linked Image]

That was fun! And nobody got bisected!

wave Michael

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