Ok, this one is hysterical. I can just hear Lane Davies saying the Tempus lines.
“Caitlin!” warned the woman. “It’s radioactive!”
Tempus rolled his eyes. “It can’t hurt you. It’s completely harmless to humans. And—”
He did not get a chance to finish, as Caitlin hurled the Kryptonite with deadly accuracy. It bounced off his head and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Wells moved quickly to retrieve the gun.
Lois managed a smirk. “God, I love irony.” The corners of Clark’s mouth might have curled up slightly through his grimace.
and
“So let me get this straight — I was supposed to explode?” asked Dad.
“All the energy you absorb from the sun should have been released instantly. You should have gone up like an H-bomb.” Tempus scowled, then winced and adjusted the ice bag on his head. “I don’t know what went wrong. It worked fine with the rats!”
“‘Rats’?” echoed Mom.
“I caught the rat that Luthor groupie gave superpowers, and used it to experiment on ways to get rid of you two.”
“Do you mean Gretchen Kelly? That was nearly twenty years ago!”
Tempus rolled his eyes then winced again. “Hello? Time machine?”
and of course
“I’m hungry too,” admitted Caitlin. “Hey, is this a pizza? How old is it?” She wrinkled her nose. “It hasn’t been here, like, a week, has it?”
“It’s quite fresh,” said Mr. Wells as he pressed a button on the gadget. “It may want heating up, however.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” protested Tempus. “That’s my pizza!”
“Not anymore,” observed Mom as she opened the box. “Oh, only one slice is gone. There’s enough for all of us.”
“That’s my pizza!” complained Tempus one last time, as he and Mr. Wells disappeared in a flash of light.
Absolutely loved it!
Mike
