Okay, I had planned on reading it through and then coming back to comment, but... Oh, God.
*This line*:
She’d been murdered. The only difference was that she was still walking around. A living corpse.
I had to say something before I forgot what it felt like to be kicked in the face. To feel that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm sure it'd have the same effect on the second read through, but... wow, Wendy. Past tense. She used past tense. *She'd* *been* *murdered*. I'm probably insane for focusing on that, but... dead. She thought she was already dead. That's just... extraordinarily powerful.
I actually have to take a minute to compose myself...
She thought it was a man, but even that could be wrong. Had he been tall? Short? Stocky? Thin? Young? Old?
He was medium build with dark blue brown eyes... okay, so I needed a little comic relief after the zombie line. <g>
And...
And the warning - or was it a promise?
... you’ve got only twenty-four hours to live...
I *love* this line. A warning or a promise. Love the... mixed signals.
Clark’s fingers tightened around hers. “Don’t, Lois.”
And then she does... she loses it... I love that she gives in to the panic, Wendy. Really. And the way you've written it... wow.
A lover. A man who would love her and cherish her and want to be with her. A man she could marry and live the rest of her life with. Someone to belong to.
Okay, I had to point that out... because... I love that you did. How... how *human* is that? When faced with our mortality we just want somewhere to belong. Some*one* to belong to. Even Mad Dog Lane... and... yeah. I really, really love that you've not ignored that in favour of the MDL image, even in her darkest hour, as it may be tempting to do. I love how she breaks down in front of Clark. That she breaks down at all. Loses control... because it isn't a situation she's in control of... and... as sadistic as it sounds, I love that she feels helplessness. Love how... human she is in this. Well done, Wendy.
That maybe, just maybe, this might not be the last day of her life.
You're not pulling any punches, are you? <g>
Yes, well... I'm determined that I'm not going to cry or get teary eyed or... have my stomach plummet to my feet... again... this chapter.
There were still things they could do. Still ways his powers could be useful. Speed-reading, for one. Plus searching her apartment for clues the police might not find. And super-speed - sorting through documents, getting around, bringing people and things to places they might need to be.
Oooh! This means a revelation, right?
He's going to tell her... he's *got* to tell her!
Just a couple of days ago, they’d heard that they’d been nominated in the Meriwether Awards for Journalistic Excellence.
Oh... wouldn't that just... I mean... imagine if they won and she wasn't there... oh, boy... there's that sinking feeling and those prickly eyes again. I can't help it. You're killing me, Wendy. You're going to kill me and replace me with a blubbering clone before this is out. <g>
That's just... what a kick in the face that must be. What timing.
Not even Superman would take him away from her today. It didn’t matter what the problem was; others would just have to handle it without his help.
Nice. Very nice. Not just that he's committed himself to her today, but that he's acknowledged, even if he didn't mean to, that Superman takes him away from her.
His luck was in - it was one of his Planet business cards. “Here. Clark Kent. City desk. Any trouble, you can call me.”
The driver took it, barely glancing at it before stashing it in his cup-holder, and Clark hurried to exit the cab and join Lois.
Oooh, I have a feeling that will be important. <g>
And then she saw the shattered window, and the shards of glass on the floor.
“Yes.” The officer obviously saw her looking. “We’re pretty sure that’s where your intruder got in. And the good news is that we got a few high-quality prints from the frame. If he’s got a record, we’ll find him.”
Oooh!!! *pumps his fist in the air*
Time was ticking away. Already nearly five hours had passed. Time she couldn’t afford to waste.
Thanks, again, for the reminder. <g>
Love the subtle little updates instead of a '19 hours remaining' type of thing at the top of each section.
“Depends if she likes being dead more.”
Touché. <g>
All right... comments are a bit more sparse this time, because... I simply *couldn't* stop reading. This whole part was... fantastic. Amazing. Brilliant. I just... there's a heavy feeling in my chest, and I *was* in a good mood earlier, so that says a *lot*.
And Wendy... what do I need to do to get more of this story? I'll do anything! <g>
Dave
