Okay. I have a few questions for the individuals with siblings out there. Aw, heck... For anyone who likes to answer them.
My family has been in the midst of RL stress for a while now. My little sister (not yet 20) has come back from England, where she seemed to completely change her personality (well, maybe not completely, but almost...) and after the boyfriend from back there broke up with her, she immediately (an hour or so after he broke up with her) went clubbing and picked up a guy there. Or he picked her up. I'm not sure.
Anyway, she immediately started staying at this guy's place (and you know what that means...) and he still lives with his mother. He's 24 and was unemployed at the time of their getting together.
Anywho, since then she's been staying there practically every night, only coming home once a week, or once every two weeks to do some laundry. She's eating his mother's food etc, but not paying any sort of board. She doesn't pay any board to my parents either (though I do). She refuses to get a part time job while studying (even though she has time and I once had three part time jobs while studying... *grumbles*) and also won't apply for the living costs on her student loan because she doesn't want to pay them back. Instead, she wants to keep sponging off her boyfriend's mother and also my parents, who are disapproving, but trying very hard to avoid having her stop talking to them completely. So they're furnishing her with money for bus fare and cell phone topups, even though I don't think they should be giving her any money. Neither does my older brother.
At six weeks of knowing each other (and sleeping together), this guy proposed. My (idiot) sister accepted. He's now spending all his money from his new, low-paying job on a ring. My sister's still not contributing to anything, but continues to sponge off everyone.
I'm meeting the guy for the first time tonight; my parents having already met him once. They didn't think much of him. They're very frustrated with my sister, as am I, and are just trying to keep her talking to them, though she doesn't much.
Anyway, obviously my sister doesn't live here anymore, yet she still expects her friends from England who are travelling round (and who we've never met) to be able to stay here. She invited them back before this ever happened and they said no. They now (very soon before they intend to come and stay) have said 'Well, if you're asking...' and changed their minds. My sister is no longer living here. My parents will be away. I've been planning for weeks on having people over for a potluck lunch at the time they intend to be here and also relaxing at the start of my annual leave from work. I wanted to sit down, have the house to myself and read Harry Potter (yes, this is supposedly happening next weekend...
). I wanted to feel at ease in my own home and I have lots of people coming over for this potluck.
So my questions are these:
-Is it selfish of my sister to expect to have her friends to stay here, when they already said no before, she doesn't live here anymore and I have lots of people coming over and want to feel at ease in my own home?
-What would you do about it if you were in the same situation?
-Am I being selfish myself in wanting a little quiet time to relax at the start of my annual leave when I work full time and my sister has been stressing us constantly for the past few months?
Whew. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks.
~Anna.
