Darn! grumble Beat me to it! I started to post a list to those contest winners last night, and got distracted. dizzy ) I particularly liked
Quote
And thus spake the Lord unto Saint Dominic, who is numbered among the lands as a baker above bakers, and said, "Ye shall bake it, and the span of the crust shall be one span, and the thickness of the crust shall be as of a thumb and the sauce shall be of fresh tomatoes for canned are anathema unto My sight and the pepperoni shall be sliced thin and be of meat from an animal that moos and thou shalt not use the meat of the pig nor mix it with pineapple nor Spam nor shall ye use anchovies strong enough to maketh even the angels gag and thou shalt deliver it anon thirty minutes or else it shall be free."
Caleb Ronsen
Kenmore, NY
rotflol

Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.

- Under the Tuscan Sun