this one was cool too....
Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From Lois & Clark
Mothers-in-law are not so bad. Sometimes they just want someone to talk with about their boy....You can't save everyone, but doing what you can makes a difference... Don't treat women like hood ornaments... Putting tin foil on your head prevents psychics from reading your mind... Don't break up with someone for their own good... If your words come back at you sounding dumb, they probably are... When your sister's boyfriend is a creep, she probably won't appreciate seeing his mug shot over breakfast... Before you ask someone to marry you, tell them your biggest secret or they'll be mad -- really, really mad... You never know if your friend's dad is a spy or not... Some people like being on top... When someone really loves you, it doesn't matter if you have coffee breath, it doesn't matter how you look, and it doesn't matter whether you wear burgundy, violet or black... The M word doesn't make things forever, the L word does... People see what they want to see... Don't trust anyone that calls you by an animal's name... Time together is more important than the perfect pearl from Japan, chocolate from Switzerland, snow from the Andes, and Camembert from France... Leave your windows open, you never know what'll come flying in... When you can fall asleep in someone's arms even when you're being hunted by a lunatic, that should tell you something... If someone makes you want to barf, they're probably a suspect... Answering the door in a towel at nine o'clock in the morning is a sure-fire way of getting your partners attention... Some ties work better than bullet-proof vests... Not talking about something is often scarier than talking about it... 'Splain things to the person you love... Avoid noxious chemical elements, especially when they're green and glowing... Don't be scared off by bright, young career women -- they just want someone to respect them, to love them, and to fly them to the moon... There will always be another headless corpse, but true love, comes around maybe once... You can slam a door in someone's face once, but after that, don't do it again... Saving someone's life does not give you the right to live their life... When dismantling a bomb, always disconnect the green wire first... There's a lot to be said for family... Every cloud has a silver lining... Sometimes the truth is just staring you right in the face... Being with the one you love is stronger then being alone, even if you are a Superhero... Big, fat pastrami is ok for breakfast when it will save The Daily Planet... Trust is important. Not even flowers, jewelry, or a Leer jet can take its place... You can't cheat justice twice... Lighting makes everything look bigger... Almost dying heightens your senses, kind of like putting on a pair of glasses... you don't have to have a reason to give a rose to the one you love... Never set up two trees with lights in an apartment when you don't have a robot around... DUH! Clark Kent is Superman!... Be careful pouring champagne while ogling, you may end up cleaning it up with your shoe... Don't ask a Superhero how long he can hold his breath... Stay away from green, glowing cabinets... Don't order Chinese food from a place called "Ralph's."... Please, call him Daniel... Even Superheroes and world-famous reporters need to belong to someone... When someone turns down your marriage proposal, just plow some snow and keep the ring -- they just may need some time... Don't ignore a mild-mannered reporter -- you never know what lurks beneath the surface... Nothing on earth should make you think you can fool your mother... Anyone who pays $10,000 for a date with you and loved "Indecent Proposal" is bad news... It's hard to cry with a mask on... Remember, always consider your options... A disguise is not necessary at all times... Each person is abnormal in their own way... Two primary colors CAN work... Sometimes cyborg girlfriends can be useful, like in relaying messages recieved when stuck in a closet... The one, and sometimes only person you can trust is your best friend... When someone makes sense to you, go with it... There's no time like the right time... In the never ending battle for truth and justice, take time to fall in love...Take a chance... Never trust an old guy... Glasses can be deceiving... Don't call a girl by her last name...Make sure your head and heart are in the same place... Make sure you know what kind of bed your fiancé expects... Your true love is just a small star in a big sky, not a big star in a small sky... If it goes on a salad, it doesn't go on a pizza... Before excepting a marriage proposal, make sure your intended is not a deranged psychopath... If your man can fly, you can stay mad... Without your love in your life, it wouldn't be a life... If you can fly, you can get away with wearing your underwear outside your pants... If you have x-ray vision, its okay to use it. sometimes... Don't hold in your fears. You'll have nightmares... Look beyond the exterior... Be careful in telling someone you had a crush on them in a death situation. You might be rescued by a man in blue and then have a lot of 'splainin to do.... Never trust a man who is serving two life sentences... If you are in love, you can take things, like Lunkhead, in the best sense of the word... If you care enough to obesses over an imortant matter, that probably means you are ready to accept it.. Some people just don't like being told their father is suspected of being a secret agent for the NIA... If you think you're highstrung, you just may be a Stradivarius... The "S" always shows up in the nick of time... There's a perfect mate for everyone, but you may have to go to a parallel dimension to find him/her... Love isn't stupid, but it is often blind... When you don't have time to curl your hair, use Solo cups.. Too many jumping jacks are bad for your health, but stopping can be worse... Being a Super hero isn't always good on your $80 shoes...When a guy tells you he's going for cappucino, don't always expect him to be walking to the curb... If you find yourself in virtal world, try to get comfortable... People's watches may not always tell time... When faced by an enemy, sometimes it's better to find an escape window than trying to stand your ground.... Just because a guy wears tights, doesn't mean he's a wimp... Momma's boys are always the best... If your momma makes it for you, wear it....If you find yourself in a runaway Mustang simply remove the key from the ignition... Not all women understand sports analogies... If a man suddenly picks up a red phone and says "Yep, it's Him", break out your umbrella... Never enter a dart game with a Super hero... Dating a woman with a squeeky voice just to make your fiance' jealous is not a good idea... Elvis does exist in a parallel universe....If you think you may "sleep float", stay away from your roommate's bed...Good guys often wear black... Just because a kid can lift a couch doesn't mean he's Superman's... Exoneration isn't always front page news... Being a Vvv..Vvv...Vvery patient man isn't so bad... Pre-marital sex could be a federal disaster... Disappearing for 10 seconds can make a man love you even more... Just because a man runs away doesn't mean he's scared of committment... Don't overlook small town farmboys... If your boyfriend keeps running off in the middle of conversations, he better be saving the world... After eating a bomb, be sure to say "Excuse me."... People don't notice your face when you're wearing tights.... Tights are aerodynamic... Men in blue spandex can be very sexy... Never underestimate the relevance of a good Elvis story... If your car goes out of control, turn off the ignition... Some guys like it when you play hard to get... Nice guys don't always finish last... If it's red and it glows, stay away from it... Stay away from glowing rocks of any color... It's o.k. to take a vacation every now and then...You never truly understand someone until you fly a mile in his cape... Blot, don't rub... Your one true love could be standing right next to you...
thx to paul and the wayback machine
