Dundan,
First of all, welcome to the boards.
I tried reading your first post and only managed to get through a few paragraphs before I gave up.
This, in no way, reflects on your ideas or talent but has more to do with presentation style.
I’d suggest checking
the MBs FAQ for clarifications on how to best post your story.
I would love to give this another try if you’d be willing to make it a little easier by dividing the story into paragraphs etc.
Best of luck and whatever you do, keep writing!
Avia
