I can understand if the family is told that he works for the government and that for the interests of National Security, he can't tell them exactly what, but to totally lie to the one you married? I find that hard to believe.
Well it's not that terribly hard to lie to someone you're married to and lead a double life - bigamists do it all the time. How many times have you seen a bigamy story on the news and the various 'wives' were utterly clueless? So it's certainly possible. I believe it would be easier if your profession was supposed to be something that would take you away from home on a regular basis.
Alternatively, in the UK spy drama, Spooks, the only spies married are those whose partners are spies also. In the world of Spooks, that's the only way it seems to work. In S1, a prominent plot strand dealt with the main hero trying to have a relationship with a woman and her young daughter, focusing, firstly, on the issues surrounding her being unaware of his true profession and then, later, when she was told, the problems that this knowledge caused for them. It didn't last.
LabRat
