Since you guys always do such a great job helping me solve my grammar/writing puzzles, I want to throw this out there and get your opinion.
I was never taught this specifically as a no-no, but I'm always loathe to interrupt dialogue with more than one speech tag and/or beat.
For example, I would never write this:
"Hey, Clark," Lois said, "why don't you come over here?" She patted the empty space on the sofa next to her. "I want to chat with you about that red cape I found in your closet."
Instead I would write this:
"Hey, Clark, why don't you come over here?" Lois said, patting the empty space on the sofa next to her. "I want to chat with you about that red cape I found in your closet."
Now, these are very simplistic examples where it is easy to avoid using two interruptions in the dialogue. But sometimes it's not so easy, and this is where I have problems.
Usually, I break up the dialogue into two separate paragraphs.
So instead of this:
"Now, Lois, I can explain," Clark said, remaining on the far side of the room in case she had the urge to hit him. "There's a very good reason Superman's cape was in my closet." Of course, he had no idea what that good reason might be, and his mind whirled as he tried to concoct one. "Would you believe Superman and I are having an affair?" he said at last with a sheepish grin.
I would do it this way:
"Now, Lois, I can explain," Clark said, remaining on the far side of the room in case she had the urge to hit him. "There's a very good reason Superman's cape was in my closet."
Of course, he had no idea what that good reason might be, and his mind whirled as he tried to concoct one. At last he said with a sheepish grin, "Would you believe Superman and I are having an affair?"
Again, not that I think the first way is wrong. Just that it looks funny to me.
What do you all think? Does it bother you if dialogue is interrupted more than once for speech tag or action beat?
Lynn
