Hi Wanda
This is something I have to deal with a lot in my capacity as Archive GE. Obviously, as you're aware, some words/phrases are completely unacceptable, but there are others which are okay provided they're used sparingly - and by 'sparingly', I mean I'd probably be okay with two or three at most uses of the word you mention in a very long story; one at most in a short story. You're right; the word is in fics on the Archive, but within the kind of constraints I've mentioned here.
When you submit your story to the Archive, of course, your GE will help you with any ratings issues and won't let anything get past which isn't allowed on the Archive.
As far as these boards are concerned, if you're worried about specific words/phrases/descriptions and want some advice before posting, you could always email the Fanfic Forum moderators.
Hope this helps.
Wendy
