Hi again! It's been a while since I posted. I've started writing a story and I have some specific questions about it. (BTW, my mom thinks it's great, but I'm not sure I trust her!) (Just kidding, Mom!) help

Where can this be improved? Can you follow what was happening? Do you think there is anything that needs to be enhanced upon, either the actions or the descriptions? What about the dialogue? Does it flow? huh

Please don't worry about spelling or grammar - Mom is helping me with that.

Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.

Phoenix Rising

If I can't be a good example, I'll just have to settle for being a horrible warning. ::Shifty Eyes::