I still find this one a little bit confusing, Marnie, and think that perhaps expanding it or further developing the idea might work a little better.

The idea is good - cute and as others have said, interesting - but, for me at least, the main point you wanted to get over - about our character being accidentally caught in some crossfire between Lois and Superman - isn't brought out clearly enough in this draft.

I think it could be a really cute vignette though - the bones of it are certainly there already. smile


LabRat smile


Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.

The Musketeers