Wow, everybody, thanks for all your comments! I'm... trying to be back. Writing, that is.
This has been the first story I've managed to finish in ages, and it feels good. But I still haven't gotten to the orc levels in Warcraft, so the next story may be a while.
I'm glad people picked out a number of the lines I was very *clears throat* proud of myself. It's wonderful to see certain lines pointed out in a good way, and it also helps me to know when humor worked and when it didn't.
Although I can't take credit for the pink scrunchie--I originally had it as a "pink hairband," and it was Wendy who suggested I change it to scrunchie to make it funnier.
Kaethel said:
A purely meerkat-ish fic!
Well, I'm certainly glad I haven't disgraced the name of meerkat.
Kathy also brought up:
I'm one who completely agrees with Lois there -- the long hair definitely made him look like a hack.
I agree, which was partly why it occurred to me to give Clark a haircut instead of Lois. Lois's hair looked fine shoulder-length (sorry, Tank), and with some of her haircuts looked absolutely atrocious. Clark's hair, on the other hand, was horrible in the Pilot, but much better in later episodes. Much more fun to give our boy a nice makeover.
And so he ended up with the GQ glasses a little earlier--anything to get our favorite couple together sooner, rather than later, right?
Pam said:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read it again. And save it to disk. And maybe even print it out...
*blushes* Aww, thanks!
And Tank said:
I do like how it's too early in their 'relationship' for Lois to be mad at Clark for holding out on her, but she doesn't think immediately of the 'story of the century' but rather, how she can make this, newly realized good looking hunk, hers.
I'm glad somebody else picked up on that! My original concept of the story was to sort of be a joke, Lois finding out Clark's secret and immediately falling in love with him because he was Superman, without telling her. But once the story was longer than a page, I realized that I couldn't do that to my readers. And Wendy, always thinking of you, made sure that I made it clear that Lois loved Clark, not for being Superman. So you have her to thank for that.
Paul said:
i saw the revelation coming, but it was still really fun to see.
Ah, but then, Paul, I only put the revelation in at the very last minute because Wendy insisted. *grin* So I guess she must have seen it "coming" and then it never came. I knew there was a reason she was a good reader.
Rat is apparently
now wondering how Stuart would look in a pink scrunchie....
I think you should try it!
Annie said:
Having her figure out ck=s because of the haircut was clever. It does seem odd that no one ever put two and two together. Although Superman's hair was always slicked back, it was easy to tell when he got a haircut.
I always wondered why nobody made the connection before. Always seemed like there was some sort of aura around Clark, not just of invulnerability, but of blindness, that nobody noticed certain things.
Anyway, thanks for commenting, everybody! Hopefully I'll have another story around sometime.
