To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) (I had to tell the program that my primitive printer was using legal- size paper) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) * and (X) used in script probably mean "this line changed from previous version" Notes: Cover: "AKA Superman", Written by Jeffrey Vlaming [and] Directed by Robert Ginty" are all in large bolt print. The remainder of the text is in Courier 10 (10 characters per inch) The very last page ("Additional Dialogue") is in a Times Roman-like font, possibly 13 points. Typos noted: "all right" misspelled as "alright" in twice Page 1, near top, "afterhours" is shown as one word Page 4, near top, "don't you come with? It's a lotta" is missing "us" Page 7, near bottom, "What? Steveo-! They want you" "to" at end missing, or "you" should be "to" Page 31, Penny, last line "you.." has only 2 periods after Page 37, near bottom, Jimmy: "make me less of a man in you eyes" should be "your" --page break-- graphic (see script.bmp) "AKA Superman" EPISODE SIXTEEN Prod. #465216 Written by Jeffrey Vlaming Directed by Robert Ginty _Production Draft_ January 20, 1997 FULL Blue 1/24/97 Pink Rev. 1/28/97 Yellow R. 1/30/97 Green R. 1/31/97 Gold Rev. 2/5/97 White R. 2/6/97 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_AKA Superman_" FULL Blue 1/24/97 _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE JIMMY OLSEN PERRY WHITE _______________________________________________________________ GARRET GRADY PENNY BARNES PETERS DORIS CHESTER PALADIN STEVE McBRIDE * --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_AKA Superman_" FULL Blue 1/24/97 _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Metropolis Street Newsroom Conference Room Diticom Entrance Street Rooftop Lois and Clark's Townhouse Living Room Roma Cafe Kitchen Suburban Street Diticom Grady's Office NASA Office Secretarial Pool Chinese Restaurant --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_AKA Superman_" FULL Blue 1/24/97 _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 7 NIGHT #1 SC. 8 - 21 DAY #2 SC. 22 - 27 NIGHT #2 SC. 28 - 30 DAY #3 SC. 31 - 48 NIGHT #3 SC. 49 - 50 DAY #4 --page break-- _LOIS AND CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "AKA Superman" _TEASE_ FADE IN: 1 INT. DAILY PLANET - DOWNSTAIRS ENTRANCE - NIGHT #1 1 It's afterhours. LOIS and CLARK, arm-in-arm, come in through the revolving door, stroll toward the elevator. CLARK The chef's recipes may have been authentic -- but our waiter's _accent_... LOIS I think the closest he's come to Italy was watching 'The Godfather Part II.' Lois hits the call button for the car. CLARK Hey -- why don't You forget about picking up those file disks... you're not going to get any work done tonight, anyway. (pulls her to himself) You know what pasta does to me.. LOIS You want me to leave my work here? And what if the building burns down? or explodes? _That's_ been know to happen. I'd have to start from scratch. Better safe than sorry. Lois hits the call button again, a little impatient. CLARK Can you say 'obsessive?' She puts her arms around his neck as they wait. LOIS Happy birthday, Clark -- CLARK Well, it's not officially my birthday until tomorrow... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 LOIS It must be tomorrow somewhere in the world. She kisses him. DING! The elevator doors open. Lois steps inside... but Clark doesn't, suddenly realizing something, cocks his head. LOIS (CONT'D) There's a crisis. What is it? Bank robbery? Terrorist strike? Meteor headed for Earth? CLARK Ribbon cutting. LOIS Sorry? CLARK I totally forgot -- Superman promised to be at a hospital (X) re-opening. I guess you'll be able to work tonight, after all. LOIS A hospital re-opening? It's the (X) middle of the night. CLARK Not in New Zealand. LOIS Oh, _that_ old excuse again. 'Not tonight, honey -- I have a hospital re-opening in Auckland.' (X) The elevator doors start to close. LOIS (CONT'D) Clark -- CLARK I'm sorry -- (then) I'll see you at home. The doors close, separating them. Clark turns and exits... 2 INT. DAILY PLANET BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS 2 Dark. Quiet. Eerily quiet. The elevator indicator clicks up to this floor... the elevator doors open, and Lois emerges into the dim room. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 3. 2 CONTINUED: 2 A SOUND; she turns toward it, and suddenly -- THE LIGHTS EXPLODE ON and PEOPLE jump up from out of everywhere screaming -- Lois doesn't even blink as... PLANETEERS Surprise!!! LOIS Forget it. It's just me. Again. Now WE SEE the bullpen has been decorated for a party. A "Happy Birthday, Clark" banner is the centerpiece. The Planeteers instantly lose their enthusiasm, start milling. PERRY and JIMMY approach Lois. PERRY Honey, this is the second time -- LOIS I know. But I'm going to make this happen. I swear. Clark and I just have to learn how to coordinate our schedules a little better, that's all. JIMMY Well, maybe by the time you pull this off, I'll actually have a date. Jimmy moves off. 3 EXT. DITICOM - NIGHT 3 To establish. A sign reads, "Diticom Technologies." 4 INT. DITICOM - NIGHT 4 The staff has gone home for the night. PENNY, serious, 21, a knockout, sits at her desk in the maze-like secretarial pool, reading a fanzine with Superman on the cover. Her cubicle is a virtual shrine to Superman, adorned with collectibles of all sorts. On her computer screen WE SEE the readout churning through complex mathematical equations. DORIS, another secretary, approaches, slinging her purse DORIS Okay, I'm outa here -- PENNY G-night, Doris. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 4. 4 CONTINUED: 4 DORIS Penny... some of the girls are meeting over at Club L7 ... Why don't you come with? It's a lotta fun... (X) PENNY Not tonight, Doris. Thanks. I have a few things I need to finish up. DORIS Honey, when you gonna get out in the world and meet a real man? PENNY They don't come any 'realer' than Superman, Doris. DORIS Penny, look at you. You're a beautiful girl. Smart. Educated. You bowl two-eighty. You could have your pick of guys... why waste your time on some fantasy? PENNY He's not a fantasy, Doris. Underneath all that Spandex beats the heart of a man. A man with the same wants, needs and desires as any man. DORIS You still laboring under the theory that Superman's got some 'secret identity?' PENNY It makes sense, doesn't it? How else would someone like him ever hope to lead any kind of normal life? DORIS If that's true, I don't how you (X) expect to find out what it is. (X) PENNY By using modern criminology techniques. First, I've constructed a psychological profile of The Man Of Steel. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 5. 4 CONTINUED: 2 4 PENNY (CONT'D) I've taken that profile and factored in my theory of a secret identity. He's early to (X) mid-twenties. Possibly thirties. Probably a professional connected (X) to mass communication. I've fed (X) all this information into the computer, cross referenced with everything we know about Superman. (X) At this point, it becomes simply about numbers. The computer takes over, digests the information and arrives at the most likely result. DORIS Well, good luck, anyway. But if you ask me, it's a waste of time Doris exits. Penny looks back to her magazine. Reacts as her computer starts BEEPING. Different IMAGES start flashing across the screen -- The Daily Planet, Superman shaking Perry's hand, a picture of Lois... now it all stops, goes BLACK for a second, then a final IMAGE starts to scroll onto the screen. Penny leans forward expectantly, breathlessly, as... At the bottom of the screen, WE SEE the words "97% MATCH" FLASHING. CAMERA REVEALS the IMAGE as it appears fully: a photo of JIMMY OLSEN, with vital statistics printed out nearby. Penny reacts to that... PENNY 'James Olsen...' Ninety-seven percent Superman... Let's see if we can make it a hundred... She gently brushes her fingers across the screen and Jimmy's smiling picture as we... FADE OUT _END OF TEASE_ --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 6. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 5 EXT. METROPOLIS - WIDE - NIGHT 5 We're looking up at all the towering skyscrapers. Now, into the pleasant sky, WE SEE a SATELLITE appear from behind one of the buildings, hanging above Metropolis. We HEAR it POWERING UP -- suddenly, it emits a major DEATH RAY! The ray hits one of the buildings. The building GLOWS for a moment, then is vaporized! And now, through the hanging smoke, appears a GIANT HEAD peering down at Metropolis! CAMERA REVEALS that this Metropolis is only a model, and WE ARE really in... 6 INT. GARRET GRADY'S OFFICE - NIGHT 6 The head belongs to GARRET GRADY, young, smart, Ralph Reed with a bad attitude. Or is that redundant? STEVE McBRIDE hovers in the b.g. Late 30's, square-jawed, all-American hero in NASA bomber jacket. He appears uneasy. Standing in the corner throughout is PETERS, a brawny sycophant. GRADY See that, Steve-o? That's what we'll be capable of after your mission Thursday. McBRIDE Yeah... that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Now that it's getting close to countdown... GRADY You're having second thoughts. It's only natural. But remember our dream, Steve-o. Former President Borman's dream... Grady puts an arm around McBride, steers him toward a framed photo of FORMER PRESIDENT BORMAN. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 7. 6 CONTINUED: 6 GRADY (CONT'D) His vision of a satellite (X) controlled strategic defense system would have ushered in a new era of peace. No country or leader would ever again _think_ of warring with a neighbor -- for fear of instant annihilation. But instead, the Annihilator floats silently above us, unfinished. McBRIDE Maybe people just aren't meant to have that kind of power. You ever think of that? Maybe congress was right to pull the plug -- GRADY No. They were cowards. But I'm no coward. If the United States government is unwilling to do what's necessary, I'll do it for (X) them. No longer will there be a 'relative' morality. There will be an absolute morality -- mine. McBRIDE You'll have to do it without me. I've decided to go through with the mission the way NASA has it on the books. McBride starts walking away. GRADY What? Steveo-! They want you destroy my satellite platform! Steve-o! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 8. 6 CONTINUED: 2 6 McBRIDE I'm sorry. But a man's gotta do what he thinks is right. The astronaut exits Grady's office. Grady looks after him, containing his rage. He speaks to Peters. GRADY We need to test the pulse convertor prototype before the real thing goes up on Thursday, Peters ... And I've just decided on the ideal target... 7 EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT 7 A quiet neighborhood. Steve McBride's car pulls into the driveway of a pleasant looking suburban home. He climbs out of his car, moves to the trunk, removes his NASA duffel, as... A VAN driven by Peters rolls to a stop fifty feet away. Its back doors swing open and a DEVICE resembling a high tech dental x-ray camera protrudes from inside. A CLICK and indicator lights ignite on the device as it begins to HUM, warming up... McBride pauses, sensing something. He looks to the van behind him and -- ZAP! A powerful ENERGY BEAM blasts from the van. McBride and his car become a FLARING SILHOUETTE. (X) In the next instant, they're gone. Vaporized. All that (X) remains is a pile of ASHEN RESIDUE, moving in the energy's wake. 8 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY #2 8 CLOSE -- a black and white crime photo of scorched curb and (X) grass, the NASA duffel on the ground. (X) LOIS (V.O.) A high profile astronaut doesn't just disappear thirty-six hours before a mission... 9 WIDER 9 Lois is with Perry. Lois takes the file from him. PERRY Exactly. I want you and Clark on this five minutes ago. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 8A. 9 CONTINUED: 9 PERRY (CONT'D) (looks around) Where is Clark, anyway? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 9. 9 CONTINUED: 9 Lois glances at one of the TVs where WE SEE SUPERMAN tee-ing off on a golf course. (X) LOIS Dry cleaners. They gave him someone else's shirts by mistake. PERRY The great computer age and they can't keep a claim check straight. (noticing' TVs) Hey! How 'bout that? Superman cleaned up that toxic spill this morning _and_ still finds time to tee-off at a charity game! Gotta (X) hand it to him. LOIS (moving off) Sure do. PERRY Oh, Lois... you, uh, nail down a new date for Clark's surprise birthday party, yet? LOIS We're still working on that schedule thing, Chief. PERRY I know what you're goin' through. (X) LOIS You do? PERRY Sure. It's perfectly normal. I remember when Alice and I were newlyweds. I was so used to keepin' my own clock, drove Alice nuts. Every couple works it out (X) in their own way. LOIS You're divorced. PERRY Well -- that was _our_ way. He moves off. Lois starts for her desk, moves past the TVs where Superman gives a final wave, moves OUT OF FRAME. --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 10. 10 MOVING WITH LOIS 10 as she crosses toward her desk. She passes the elevators, which open and Clark emerges, straightening his tie. He catches up with her. LOIS There's the birthday boy -- CLARK Sorry I'm late. LOIS Golf, huh? CLARK Yeah... it was charity game, Lois. Superman could hardly say 'no.' LOIS Doesn't seem to be in his vocabulary. CLARK What do you mean? LOIS Nothing. Here. She hands him the McBride file. CLARK What's this? LOIS Missing astronaut. Captain Steve McBride. NASA has no clue where he is. There was some kind of 'ashy residue' found on the street where his car had been parked... Police (X) Forensics are still trying to type (X) it. CLARK McBride was scheduled for a shuttle mission this Thursday... LOIS Maybe someone wanted him off the flight roster. CLARK We should talk to someone from NASA, see just what kind of mission that shuttle was going on... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 10A. 10 CONTINUED: 10 They move off. CAMERA FINDS... JIMMY on the phone at his desk. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 11. 10 CONTINUED: 10 JIMMY This is James Olsen... INTERCUT WITH 11 INT. DITICOM - DAY 11 Penny is on her phone in her cubicle. PENNY Yes, Mr. Olsen, my name is Penny... Barnebeedian... I'm a student at (X) Metropolis University. Journalism major. One of our assignments is to interview a working journalist, and I was wondering... JIMMY Lane and Kent are on a story right (X) now, Ms. Barnebeedian... if you want to leave a number... PENNY Oh, no... Not them. You. I want to interview you. JIMMY Me? Uh... do you know what it is I do here...? PENNY I thought you would tell me about it over lunch... JIMMY Lunch? PENNY You do eat lunch, don't you? JIMMY Well, yeah -- PENNY Good. The Roma Cafe? One o'clock? JIMMY Okay... PENNY Great. See you then. --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 12. 12 DITICOM 12 Penny hangs up, sits back in her chair, gazes at her Superman shrine, deep in thought. She starts, as: PETERS (O.S.) Hey, Penny -- Peters leans against her station, ogling her. PENNY Oh, hi Peters... PETERS Change your mind about dinner yet? PENNY Maybe in another life. Peters' expression turns dark. GRADY (O.S.) Peters! Grady stands at his door, motioning to Peters. PETERS (to Penny, as he goes) You'll change your mind. PENNY (to herself) Not unless _you're_ Superman... She looks back at her Superman shrine... then to a printout of Jimmy's picture. 13 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 13 Grady takes his seat as Peters enters. GRADY You don't have time to be flirting with my office girls, Peters. We've got work to do. Engage the soundproofing... Peters hits a secret switch, the room HUMS. GRADY (CONT'D) What did you find out? PETERS The shuttle launch is going off as per schedule. They've already replaced Captain McBride. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 13. 13 CONTINUED: 13 GRADY Which is exactly what we have to do. Who's the new boy? PETERS Lt. Shirley Farnum. GRADY When that shuttle goes up, we've got to make sure she's working for us. Use the same channels you used to procure McBride. PETERS But Mr. Grady, that took time -- GRADY We have less than 36 hours this time. If that shuttle goes up and we don't have a ringer on board, our satellite's going to be destroyed -- along with any hope for world peace. PETERS Yessir. 14 INT. DAILY PLANET CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 14 Lois and Clark talk with CHESTER PALADIN, tight-lipped bureaucrat dedicated to withholding information. CLARK Thanks for coming down here to (X) speak with us, Mr. Paladin. (X) PALADIN Well, that's what the Federal (X) Office of Information is for. (X) LOIS Your office describes the upcoming (X) space mission as... 'routine.' (X) PALADIN Yes, yes, you'll find no headlines (X) there, Ms. Lane. Captain McBride (X) was to take an outmoded weather satellite out of service. (X) (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 14. 14 CONTINUED: 14 PALADIN (CONT'D) With six thousand manmade objects (X) floating around out there, it's (X) pretty crowded. CLARK (to himself). Tell me about it. LOIS Is there anyone who'd want to harm (X) Captain McBride? (X) PALADIN Of course not. (X) CLARK So what we have is a man everyone (X) liked... (X) LOIS ... On a perfectly routine (X) mission... (X) CLARK ...Who vanishes into thin air. Paladin smiles a thin smile, stands. (X) PALADIN Well. (X) LOIS Mr. Paladin, the Office of (X) Information seems to have anything (X) _but_. (X) PALADIN An internal investigation is being (X) conducted. (X) CLARK (intrigued) Great... Would you care to (X) describe this investigation? (X) PALADIN Certainly. It's... Internal. (X) He goes, as CAMERA PUSHES IN on Lois and Clark giving each (X) other an exasperated look. (X) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 14A. 15 EXT. ROMA CAFE - DAY 15 Jimmy stands outside the popular eatery, scanning the crowd. PENNY (O.S.) James Olsen -- Jimmy turns, reacts to the sight of Penny. JIMMY Uh, Jimmy. Just... Jimmy. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 15. 15 CONTINUED: 15 They shake hands; gaze at each other. She studies him. PENNY I thought you'd be taller -- JIMMY I can be taller -- PENNY (laughs) Right. Boots. Um... you wanna get a table? JIMMY A table would be good ... (X) 16 EXT. STREETSIDE CAFE - LATER 16 Jimmy and Penny sit at a curbside table. Penny refers to her notepad, oblivious to passing guys checking her out. PENNY So when exactly did you start working at the Daily Planet? JIMMY A little over four years ago... started as an office grunt. Moved to photo assistant... Penny nods and jots in her pad. In her notebook she makes a check beside: SUPES APPEARED FOUR YEARS AGO. Several other super-factoids have already been checked off. JIMMY (CONT'D) Of course, over the years I've worked up the ranks. So, now I'm... (lies) ...junior assistant city editor. PENNY Uh-huh. You and Lois Lane. You get along? JIMMY Lois? Oh, yeah. Lois and I are (X) total buds. PENNY And... Superman? JIMMY What about him? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 16. 16 CONTINUED: 16 PENNY You and he... close? JIMMY (entwined fingers) Like that. PENNY At least... JIMMY Well, I mean, Clark Kent and Superman are best friends... PENNY That's something. To be someone's... friend. Do you... have a lot of friends? JIMMY Well, you know... yeah. Clark and me. We're pretty tight... She gazes into his eyes, and he is drawn into hers... their attention is totally on each other now... PENNY Mmm. And what about... other... relationships? I imagine in your line of work it's tough to maintain a... romance. JIMMY (gulp) Romance? Well, funny you should mention that. This last year alone, there've been a lot... I mean ... not a _lot_. Several... is... the wrong word. It's just, my schedule is so unpredictable that most women... (then) My social life's in the pits, to be honest. They just look at each other. One of those unbearable silences... for him, anyway. The moment is broken by an off-screen SQUEAL of TIRES, followed by a deafening CRASH. Penny and Jimmy see that two cars have collided on the street. Jimmy stands -- JIMMY S'cuse me. I better call 9-1-1. Before she can respond, Jimmy disappears through the onlookers. In the next instant a WHOOSH, and everyone, including Penny, look up to see -- --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 17. 17 SUPERMAN 17 descends to the crash site. Penny turns frantically back to where Jimmy went -- no sign of him -- then back to The Man of Steel as he wrenches the driver's door off one of the cars. He takes the unconscious driver and streaks skyward and out of sight. Penny doesn't notice that she's breathing rapidly. It was all so fast. Just then, Jimmy muscles through the crowd to her, smoothing his hair. JIMMY Sorry I ran off like tha -- But she grabs him by the collar and kisses him hard. Jimmy's taken aback, but certainly doesn't protest. PENNY I'll confess, Jimmy -- I don't have much of a social life myself. But that's because I've been waiting for that certain... someone. Her BEEPER goes off. She checks it. Grimaces. PENNY (CONT'D) Oh, perfect. Probably ran out of coffee filters. Listen, I have to get back to ... class. But... (writes number, hands it to him) Here's my number. You will call me? All he can do is nod. She smiles, then leans close. PENNY (CONT'D) (whispering) You were wonderful. I can't wait to see you in your blue suit again. And she's off. Jimmy's hand manages a wave on its own. JIMMY I don't own a blue suit... but I'll definitely get one. FADE OUT _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 18. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 18 INT. DAILY PLANET - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 18 Lois is at the conference table with research materials. Clark enters with more material, takes a seat. CLARK I got copies of McBride's phone records. How you doing? Any luck? LOIS One late alimony payment and a parking ticket. No enemies. Everybody loved the guy. If Steve McBride is running from something, I don't know what it is. (then) You don't suppose he just went to a golf tournament and forgot to tell (X) anybody? CLARK You're still mad about that? LOIS I was never 'mad.' CLARK No, no, no -- you were mad. (X) LOIS Okay, maybe I was. But it's not just the golf tournaments, Clark. It's the hospital re-openings and (X) the charity benefits and visiting (X) the troops. Between all the (X) public appearances and the evil plots we hardly see each other. CLARK It's been a busy couple of weeks. LOIS It's _always_ a busy couple of weeks. I know certain disasters are unavoidable. But these public appearances... CLARK Lois, it's part of what Superman does. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 19. 18 CONTINUED: 18 LOIS I know that. But now that we're married... I just think we need to prioritize. I know the world needs you... but I need you, too. (she leans forward) Do you realize it's been over a week since we've made love? CLARK Eight days, four hours, six minutes and two seconds. But who's counting? LOIS CLARK Look, I've set a Lois... day aside for (beat) just us. I Honey... checked both our (beat) books and the _Lois_. 16th is wide open... I've got it all planned, you don't have to worry about a thing... (then) What? CLARK Which book did you check? LOIS Which book? Your date book -- He produces one dayrunner, sets it on the table. Now he sets a second dayrunner next to it. This one's more worn, fatter, bursting with post-its. She reaches for it. LOIS (CONT'D) You have two books? (flips through it) Superman has a dayplanner? (X) CLARK I like to keep them separate. It kind of helps my mind. LOIS Clark -- you're booked well into the next century. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 20. 18 CONTINUED: 2 18 CLARK Most of those dates aren't (X) actually confirmed yet. We'll work it out, honey. LOIS You've got something on the 16th -- CLARK Right. Children's Hospital. That I should try to make (X) Jimmy enters wearing a blue suit and carrying a fax. CLARK (CONT'D) Jimmy. Nice suit... very... blue. (X) JIMMY Thanks, I'm kind of breaking it in. I've got a date tonight. I... JIMMY LOIS ... think I'm in Think you're in love. love... JIMMY (CONT'D) All right. I know that happens a lot. Too much, too fast. But this girl... she made the first move. Heck, she made _all_ the moves. 'Course, that might be because... well, I wasn't exactly honest with her. I embellished some things about myself... CLARK Don't worry about it, Jimmy. (X) Everyone puts on their best face in that 'getting to know you' phase. JIMMY Yeah. Probably right. This time I'm not gonna over-analyze it. LOIS Good idea. Just enjoy yourself. JIMMY Yeah. Oh. This fax just came in for you -- Clark takes the fax; Jimmy exits. Lois looks to Clark, whose expression is grave as he reads the fax. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 21. 18 CONTINUED: 3 18 LOIS What is it? CLARK The ashy residue found where Steve (X) McBride's car was. (X) LOIS They figure out what it was? CLARK Yeah. Steve McBride's car. And (X) Steve McBride. (X) LOIS What? How? (X) CLARK Local forensics don't know how. So they turned it over to the FBI -- special weapons division. LOIS Weapons? Clark -- why do I get the feeling McBride's shuttle mission wasn't as routine as everyone's been saying... 19 EXT. NASA OFFICE - DAY 19 Chester Paladin exits the building, moves to his car. SUPERMAN CAPES in nearby, moves behind a post and CLARK emerges. Approaches Paladin. PALADIN Mister Kent... how did you... ? This area's restricted... CLARK Mr. Paladin, I'd like you to take (X) a look at something... Clark holds out a document. Paladin takes it, blanches as he scans it. CLARK (CONT'D) That's the FBI's special report on the ashy substance found at the scene of the McBride disappearance. PALADIN My office is not prepared to issue (X) a statement at this time... (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 22. 19 CONTINUED: 19 CLARK Captain McBride was murdered, Mr. (X) Paladin! The FBI thinks these (X) ashes are the result of some sort (X) of military weapon. Paladin looks off, troubled. (X) CLARK (CONT'D) Captain McBride wasn't going up to (X) destroy any weather satellite, was he? (off Paladin's silence) (X) I hear he was a friend of yours. (X) I'd like to find out what happened to him. (X) Paladin sighs, slumps against a wall. PALADIN The satellite McBride was going to (X) destroy was part of an obsolete (X) weapons system. (X) (a beat, a breath) Ten years ago, the government (X) initiated the design of a powerful defense satellite. (X) CLARK The Annihilator -- (beat) (X) But it was never built -- (X) PALADIN Well, yes and no... it was never _finished_. The satellite platform was ally put into orbit, but the power source, the pulse convertor was never built. (X) CLARK And that's what this shuttle (X) mission's about? (X) PALADIN Yes. We're quashing the platform to be rid of it for good. Even the plans for the pulse generator were (X) destroyed. (X) CLARK But what if someone _does_ have (X) them? What if they've _built_ this thing? (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 23. 19 CONTINUED: 2 19 PALADIN It's useless to them. They'd have (X) no way of getting to the satellite (X) to install it. CLARK (evenly) Unless they bribed an astronaut (X) (then) This pulse generator... What kind of destruction is it capable of? (X) PALADIN It reduces a target of any size to... (X) (taps Clark's report) (X) Ashes. (X) CLARK (a beat) (X) Just like Steve McBride. (X) Paladin turns sadly away. 20 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - DAY 20 Grady rails against Peters. GRADY That is unacceptable! What do you mean we don't have an astronaut? That shuttle launches in less than twenty-four hours! PETERS Sir, perhaps vaporizing Captain McBride was the wrong approach. People are asking questions. It makes it very difficult to get near the other astronauts. GRADY And if the disappearance of one lousy astronaut gets this much heat, think of the reaction when an entire state disappears! PETERS A state, sir? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 24. 20 CONTINUED: 20 GRADY Peters, simply having The Annihilator operational will not be enough to ensure world peace. The public will have to see it in action. Witness what it's capable of. By vaporizing, say -- West Virginia. PETERS But, sir -- people live in West Virginia. Americans. GRADY Exactly. Destroying Moscow could be misinterpreted. Which is why we'll sacrifice one of our own lambs for the good of the fold. Once the world sees what The Annihilator can do, nations will (X) beat their swords into plowshares! Mankind will live in perfect, blessed brotherhood! Or I'll blast the hell out of them. (then) Now get me that alternate, Peters. I don't care how you do it, just do 21 INT. DITICOM - SECRETARIAL POOL - CONTINUOUS 21 Penny and Doris gossip at Penny's station. DORIS And you're sure it was him? PENNY Well, at first I had my doubts, of course, I mean -- this disguise is _good_. But he turned into Superman right in front of me! DORIS Wow. You gonna see him again? PENNY Tonight. Now Peters steps up. (X) PETERS Hey, Penny. Looking good. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 25. 21 CONTINUED: 21 DORIS Forget it, Peters. Our Penny has found herself a man... and he's 'super.' They giggle. Penny playfully slugs Doris. Peters watches them, unsure what any of this means. Now his eyes drift from the conspiratorial women to Penny's Superman shrine. Off Peters' curious but dubious look... 22 EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT #2 22 Jimmy and Penny walk hand-in-hand down the street; he in his blue suit, she looking smashing. PENNY I had a wonderful time tonight. JIMMY Me too. I can't believe you ordered in French. Neither could the waiter. I mean, it was a steak house. PENNY Well, I've had a lot of time to brush up on things like foreign languages. When you've got no social life, you have that luxury. JIMMY Yeah, I still don't understand that. I'd think a girl like you would have lots of dates. PENNY 0h, it's not like I don't get asked out by guys. I do. All the time. Some have been dweebs... some of them have actually been pretty nice. (looks at him) But none of them were you. (adding) Mister junior assistant city editor crime fighter. JIMMY Uh, Penny... about me being the Junior assistant city editor. That's... not exactly my real job. PENNY I know. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 26. 22 CONTINUED: 22 JIMMY You do? PENNY Mm-hmm. I know everything. JIMMY And you don't care? PENNY Jimmy, I have a little confession to make. I haven't been totally honest with you, either. JIMMY You haven't? PENNY (takes his hand) Come with me. I want to show you something... 23 OMITTED 23 24 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - NIGHT 24 Penny leads Jimmy into Grady's office. JIMMY What is this place? PENNY I work here. I'm not really a university student, Jimmy. JIMMY You're not? Then why...? (X) She switches on the SOUNDPROOFING. The room HUMS. PENNY Soundproofing. Just in case. JIMMY Are, uh, are we going to be making a lot of noise? PENNY (approaching him) The walls have ears... I know how important it is to you that no one find out... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 26A. 24 CONTINUED: 24 JIMMY Well, uh, actually... what? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 27. 24 CONTINUED: 24 PENNY I mean, look at all the trouble you've gone to. It's brilliant, frankly. What better secret identity than some newspaper schmoe? Who would ever guess that nobody-office-grunt-Jimmy-Olsen was really Superman? JIMMY Wait a minute. You think I'm... (a beat) (X) a schmoe? She's very close now, kissing his neck, nuzzling, etc. PENNY All that searching. All that waiting. All those times I said, 'no.' It was worth it. JIMMY Uh, Penny I probably heard you wrong but you seem to think (X) I'm... ha-ha... Superman... PENNY Took me two years, several thousand bytes of information -- and Diticom's state of the art computer system... but I did it. You were a 97 percent match. JIMMY Penny, I don't... Really? 97 (X) percent? PENNY And even then I wasn't sure... until yesterday, when you turned into 'him.' But don't worry -- I won't tell anyone. Your secret's safe with me. As she continues to nuzzle' kiss and nibble. JIMMY It is? PENNY Yes. JIMMY Just between us? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 28. 24 CONTINUED: 2 24 As she continues to seduce him with kisses: PENNY That's right. Oh, you don't know (X) how many nights I've spent (X) dreaming of you... (X) JIMMY Of me you were dreaming...? (X) PENNY Of you. Of this moment. All the (X) things I wanted to say. And... (X) JIMMY Penny... (X) PENNY What's it like? To be you? So (X) brave, so fearless... so (X) lonely... (X) She kisses him on a sensitive spot on his neck. A chain (X) reaction vibrating through his body... (X) JIMMY It's hell... (X) PENNY Not anymore... (X) JIMMY Oh, good. (X) PENNY (kiss, nibble) Just tell me one thing. How do (X) you bulk up? Fill out that suit? JIMMY Push-ups -- And he kisses her back and they drop OUT OF FRAME. Now (X) CAMERA PANS to the windows and in the OUTER OFFICE WE SEE a (X) MATCH FLARE. Peter's is in the shadows, watching... (X) PENNY (O.S.) Oh Superman... (X) 25 INT. LOIS AND CLARK'S TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT 25 Lois has her nose buried in documents, moves through the house, talks to Clark who is o.s. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 29. 25 CONTINUED: 25 LOIS Honeybraun Industries had the Annihilator contract. After congress pulled the plug... (X) CLARK (O.S.) ...Honeybraun went belly-up and (X) was sold off piece by piece... (X) LOIS Which means whoever got hold of (X) those blueprints could be one of (X) several buyers. Lois has arrived at the kitchen, stops in her tracks as she sees something -- Clark is at the kitchen table, surrounded by piles of mail. He SUPER SPEEDS through envelopes, opening, reading, and responding in the blink of an eye. LOIS Catching up on your correspondence? CLARK Just takes a minute... (X) LOIS (approaching) What is all this -- ? CLARK (a little embarrassed) It's... fan mail. LOIS Wow. I knew you got postcards. An occasional batch of oatmeal scotchies, but this... CLARK The post office holds anything addressed to Superman and every couple of months I fly by and pick it up. LOIS Boy -- I just learn more about you every day. CLARK An awful lot of people want to hear from Superman. Sick kids. Lonely folks. Lois pulls a pair of women's panties from an envelope. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Green Blue 1/31/97 29A. 25 CONTINUED25 LOIS And are these from 'sick' or 'lonely' or both? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 30. 25 CONTINUED: 2 25 CLARK I get a little of that, too. (X) LOIS Well, I'm sure it must be a kick... to be adored like this... CLARK It's not so much that. But these letters, the public events, the (X) charity functions... they do serve a purpose. LOIS I know that, Clark. (X) CLARK I mean they serve a purpose for me. I see so much of the worst (X) in people... crime, violence. But seeing the _good_ things rekindles (X) my spirit. The sun recharges (X) Superman's powers, but these small things, they recharge me. LOIS I thought _I_ did that CLARK You sustain me. A beat as they look at each other. Now he SUPER HEARS a WOMAN'S VOICE CRYING, "Help, Superman! Heeelllp!" CLARK (CONT'D) Someone's in trouble. They're calling for help -- LOIS Clark, you don't have to clarify. Clark steps back, OUT OF FRAME. WE HEAR A WHOOSH, and dozens of letters fly into the air around Lois. She notices one of the letters. She picks it up -- enclosed is a PHOTOGRAPH OF A LITTLE BOY IN A WHEELCHAIR. She looks up from it with a new understanding, as... 26 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 26 Penny stands on a secluded corner, applying lipstick and yelling. PENNY Help! Superman! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Yellow Rev 1/30/97 31. 26 CONTINUED: 26 A second later, Superman capes in. SUPERMAN What seems to be the troub -- Penny throws herself at him, plants a big wet one on him. He gently pries her off. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) Miss, please... PENNY I'm sorry to bother you like this, honey. And I won't ever cry wolf again -- but after you left tonight, I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I had to see you.. in that... suit. 27 PETERS 27 watches the rendezvous from a discreet distance, his cell (X) phone to his ear. PETERS Mr. Grady? I think I've found McBride's alternate... and the leverage we need to get him... off his victorious look -- FADE OUT _END OF ACT TWO_ --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Yellow Rev 1/30/97 32. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 28 INT. LOIS AND CLARK'S TOWNHOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING - DAY #3 28 Clark is at the kitchen sink, holding his Superman suit under the running tap water. He gently rubs at a stain. Lois enters, quietly creeps up to the table with all the fan mail (which is now neatly answered and ready to go out.) She quietly produces a letter of her own, drops it, kicks it under the table. She moves to him, kisses him. (X) CLARK Morning. LOIS Morning. Lois sets about making herself a cup of coffee. (X) LOIS I spoke to my contact in the FEC. She's going to get me a list of buyers who purchased pieces of Honeybruan. We should have it by this afternoon. CLARK Good. LOIS So you got in late last night -- CLARK Oil fire in Detroit. (after a beat) Lois, I just want to say I'm sorry... LOIS Clark -- you don't have to. I was wrong. CLARK No, no you weren't -- when I was flying around last night, I had time to think. I realized that not only are we married now, but so is Superman. And even he's got to learn that he can't attend every event or charity function he's invited to. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Yellow Rev 1/30/97 33. 28 CONTINUED: 28 LOIS True. But I think now I understand when you say Superman needs to experience the good. And, Clark -- I want him to. Because when you fly home to me, I want you to be okay. They look at each other for a beat. They are drawn together in a kiss. LOIS (CONT'D) But next time -- fly home a little faster. CLARK I promise. LOIS (re his S suit) Is that... lipstick? CLARK Yeah. It's funny, the soot from the oil fire came right out, but this... (off her curious look) A crazy woman... attacked me. But don't worry -- I got away. LOIS Oh. Good. (indicating) Uh... looks like you missed a (X) letter last night. (X) Clark notes the letter Lois kicked under the table. He (X) turns off the tap, sets his suit aside. He moves to the (X) letter, opens it, reads it, shakes his head. LOIS (CONT'D) What is it? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 33A. 28 CONTINUED: 2 28 CLARK Ohhh... another request for an appearance. Ladies' Overseas Aid. LOIS Oh. They're a worthy charity. CLARK Never heard of them... He puts his arms around her, he's feeling sexy. CLARK (CONT'D) ... and anyway, I wanna start spending more time on... important things ... It has been eight days... She's getting caught up in the mood, but trying to stay focused on the envelope. LOIS Uh, well, yes, but they do a lot of good work... CLARK But I gotta prioritize... (X) LOIS I think you should accept... (X) CLARK Nah... you were right about this (X) stuff. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 19. 28 CONTINUED: 3 28 She forces herself to pull away, gets a grip. (X) LOIS Clark. Honey... They are a worthy (X) cause. I am a trusting wife. I (X) think you should take it. _Take_ it. CLARK Are you sure? LOIS Positive. CLARK Alright. If you say so. (re the suit) I should get dressed. I'll just let that soak. He exits the kitchen. Lois looks from him to the soaking lipstick-stained suit. 29 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - DAY 29 Grady and Peters stand at an interior window which looks out onto the secretarial pool. Penny is at her station, oblivious to them. GRADY Her? _She's_ Superman's girlfriend? Peggy? PETERS Penny, sir. And yes. I saw it myself. It was shameful. The way she threw herself at him in a digusting way. GRADY And you're sure this'll work? PETERS It's a tine honored tradition, sir. We hold his woman and threaten to kill her if he refuses to do our bidding. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 35. 29 CONTINUED: 29 GRADY Yes. But it won't come to that, (X) Peters. When Superman sees what (X) we're about -- world peace for (X) right thinking people -- he'll (X) gladly help us. He'll fly (X) directly to the satellite and (X) install our pulse convertor for US. (X) PETERS Perhaps, sir... but just in case, (X) we must be willing to make good on (X) the threat. (X) GRADY Of course... (as he gazes at Penny) Superman's girlfriend, working in my secretarial pool ... who would have thought? 30 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 30 Lois carries research materials, spots Perry, heads over to him, conspiratorially. LOIS Chief! It's all arranged -- PERRY What is? LOIS Clark's surprise party. Saturday at the Regent Hotel. Just tell them at the front desk you're with The Ladies' Overseas Aid. Lois hurries off, crosses to Clark, who's sitting, going (X) through documents. CLARK (re the documents) Your contact came through. These are all the records of where every piece of Honeybraun Industries ended up after its liquidation. Somewhere in here is the name of the person or persons who's trying to resurrect The Annihilator. LOIS Let's dig in.... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Yellow Rev 1/30/97 36. 30 CONTINUED: 30 CLARK (as they do) Oh, I called the Ladies' Overseas Aid office to confirm -- LOIS You called them? CLARK Yeah. And it's a good thing, too, because they didn't even know they'd asked Superman to speak. And it turns out their function isn't at The Regent. It's at the Civic Center. LOIS Civic Center? CLARK Yeah. LOIS Saturday ... CLARK Uh-huh. Lois rises. CLARK (CONT'D) Where you going? LOIS Just gotta cancel something -- CAMERA MOVES WITH LOIS TO FIND Jimmy at his desk. He picks up the phone, starts to dial, hangs up again. Musters his courage, then finally dials. JIMMY Penny? Hi, it's me. So I was (X) thinking maybe Chinese tonight. What do you think? Great. I know this terrific place... Where? Peking? That's like, actually _in_ China, right? Penny, I think we'd better stick to Metropolis ... --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 37. 31 INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT #3 31 Jimmy speaks to a HOSTESS, then crosses back to Penny, takes a seat next to her as they wait. JIMMY It's going to be a couple of minutes. PENNY Too bad you can't tell them who you really are. Bet we'd be seated right away. JIMMY Well, Penny, I've made a solemn oath to only use my powers for good. Never for... dinner. She snuggles up close to him. (X) PENNY So honey, what was it like? (X) Fighting that oil fire? (X) JIMMY (groping) Oil fire? (X) PENNY Don't be modest. It was on the (X) six o'clock news. (X) JIMMY Oh. It was... God... Hot. The (X) helpless cries of doomed men... (X) PENNY It must be so ... painful at (X) times ... being you. (X) JIMMY It is. I hope... that doesn't (X) make me less of a man in you eyes. (X) Her eyes glisten with tears of pride and sympathy. (X) PENNY Are you kidding? (X) And she lays I a kiss on him. While thus involved, Jimmy (X) opens an eye, blanching as he spots: (X) Lois and Clark, both looking a little weary, enter the restaurant, reviewing documents. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Pink Rev. 1/28/97 37A. 31 CONTINUED: 31 LOIS So that narrows it down to LemCo, Farber Industries, MacNamn Systems and Diticom Technologies. CLARK I'll take Farber and Lemco -- you take MacNamn and Diticom. LOIS But first I've got to eat -- hey, look. There's Jimmy. And that must be this week's Juliet. Not bad -- Clark recognizes Penny. Lois is already crossing to them. CLARK (following) Uh, Lois... Penny and Jimmy look up as Lois approaches. LOIS Hi, Jimmy -- JIMMY Lois -- hi. Uh, Lois Lane, this is Penny Barnabeedian. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 38. 31 CONTINUED: 31 PENNY (rising, hand extended) (X) Barnes. JIMMY What? PENNY My name's not Barnabeedian. It's Barnes. I lied about that. Ms. Lane, it's a pleasure. LOIS Well this is great. We can all (X) sit together. JIMMY (dying) (X) Uh, well, actually, they're full. It may take awhile to get a table for all of us... LOIS (to hostess) Su Lee, four of us tonight. The HOSTESS beams, grabs menus, motions for them to follow. (X) Penny looks to Jimmy, impressed, then starts after the hostess. Jimmy follows; Clark holds Lois back. CLARK Lois -- LOIS Well, she's kind of adorable. A little weird maybe, but cute. CLARK Lois -- remember that lipstick stain on my Superman suit? LOIS Yeah ... you said some crazy woman ... attacked... you... _her_? Jimmy's date? CLARK Lois, relax. I'm sure it was nothing personal. And she certainly doesn't know it's me. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 39. 31 CONTINUED: 2 31 LOIS Nothing personal? She lures my husband out of my house in the middle of the night like some sidewalk siren and you're telling me it's nothing personal? I don't trust her, Clark. I'm going to find out what she's up to 32 INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - LATER 32 Lois and Clark and Jimmy and Penny seated at a table. A CHINESE WAITER stands with order pad and pen in hand as Penny orders in A STREAM OF FLUENT CHINESE. The waiter bows, moves off. JIMMY Isn't she something? LOIS Yeah. Something. So, Penny, how did you and Jimmy meet? PENNY I was interviewing him. JIMMY It was an assignment for her journalism class. LOIS 0h. You're a Journalism major? PENNY No, I'm not. LOIS You're not? PENNY No. It was all a lie. LOIS Well -- you're nothing if not honest. PENNY I just wanted to meet him. Penny looks adoringly at Jimmy. LOIS Really? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 40. 32 CONTINUED: 32 Lois "accidentally" knocks her chopsticks on the floor. As she bends down to get them LOIS (CONT'D) Whoops -- 'scuse me... ANGLE UNDERNEATH TABLE Lois sticks her head underneath the tablecloth. LOIS (sotto voce) Clark -- I know you can hear me (We're intercutting between above and below the table.) Clark reacts, his SUPER HEARING picking up her every word. LOIS (CONT'D) There is definitely something weird about this woman. She lies to Jimmy about being a college student because she's supposedly so interested in him, but she spends her nights playing kissing bandit with local superheroes? For all we know she follows rock bands cross country... But one thing's for certain... she's got fabulous taste in shoes... Lois comes back up, chopsticks in hand. Everyone's just sort of blinking at her. LOIS (CONT'D) Clumsy. So go on, Penny. You were saying? PENNY I was? LOIS Yes. You were telling us what it is you do. PENNY Oh. I'm a secretary. LOIS Oh, really? Where? PENNY Diticom Technologies. Lois reacts to that, looks to Clark, knocks her chopsticks on the floor again, then disappears under the table. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 41. 32 CONTINUED: 2 32 CLARK You should see her with silverware. It's not pretty. LOIS under the table, continues -- LOIS (normal loud voice) Gosh, where'd those pesky things go this time? (sotto voce) Huh? Well? What'd I tell you? Now how suspicious is _that_? She lands a liplock on you last night and just happens to work at one of the companies that may be responsible for resurrecting the Annihilator? Coincidence? I think not. And what's more -- I think these so-called high-end shoes of hers are really just cheap knock-offs. Clark smiles at Penny and Jimmy, then: CLARK Excuse me. And now Clark ducks under the table, too. PENNY Your friends are lovely. JIMMY Yeah. They're great, aren't they? UNDER THE TABLE CLARK Lois, come back to the table. (X) LOTS Clark, I'm telling you there's something weird going on here. CLARK No kidding -- don't you think maybe you're just over-reacting because (X) this girl kissed me last night? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 42. 32 CONTINUED: 3 32 LOIS Alright, I'll admit that bit doesn't exactly endear her to me -- but what about this Diticom connection? Now he shifts focus as he SUPER HEARS sounds of PANIC. LOIS (CONT'D) What? CLARK A little problem on Route 10 -- (X) And they both -- -- come back up. LOIS Dear, are you sure you put coins in that meter? CLARK You know, I think I'd better check on that. PENNY Oh, I don't think you have to after six o'clock. LOIS It's one of those all night meters. CLARK Be right back. Clark exits. And now Penny's BEEPER goes off. PENNY Oh, great. 911. Wonder what the big emergency is this time? Copier out of toner? JIMMY I'll come with you -- PENNY No, you stay with Ms. Lane. I'll be back. And she kisses Jimmy, leaves. Lois watches her go, dying to follow. JIMMY So -- what do you think? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 43. 32 CONTINUED: 4 32 LOIS I think I left the gas on at home. Tell Clark I went to check on it -- And she leaves, following Penny. Jimmy just sits there, not quite knowing what's happened. And now... the food arrives. 33 INT. DITICOM - NIGHT 33 Penny enters the cubicle area to find it deserted. Grady appears, all smiles. PENNY Mr. Grady... Someone beeped me? Grady indicates behind Penny -- where Peters emerges. PENNY (CONT'D) (feeling surrounded) What's going on? PETERS Mr. Grady was thinking, seeing as how you and Superman are so close maybe he could help us out. (X) Lois emerges from the stairwell door. VOICES draw her attention. She sees Grady and Peters take a step toward Penny, crowding her. GRADY So why not give Superman a call? Set up a meeting? And suddenly, Penny makes a break for it! Peters gives chase, while... Lois, seeing the confrontation, slips behind a cubicle. Peters nabs Penny -- but Grady is nowhere to be seen. Lois hunkers down, pulls out her cell phone, when suddenly... Grady appears, gun trained on her. GRADY (CONT'D) Lois Lane. Intrepid reporter and another close friend of Superman's. What do you know, Peters? We have so much leverage now, I don't see how Superman will be able to resist... FADE OUT _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 44. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 34 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - NIGHT 34 Lois is tied up and alone in Grady's office. Now the door opens and Peters drags Penny in. He ties her back-to-back with Lois. PETERS Mr. Grady appreciates your help, Penny. Your assistance will be remembered at holiday bonus time. PENNY He made me do it, Ms. Lane LOTS Do what? What did he make you do? Peters moves to the secret button, engages the soundproofing. That low HUM fills the room. PETERS Go ahead Penny, scream your guts out for your boyfriend. He'll never hear you now. He exits, locking the door behind him. (X) PENNY (CONT'D) Well, if he thinks I'll have dinner with him now, he's crazy. LOIS Penny, you said he made you 'do it.' Do what? PENNY He made me call Superman -- LOIS What? PENNY But I just got his machine. LOIS Pardon me? Lois tries to twist around to see her, but it's no good. (X) PENNY Nothing. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Oh, god... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 45. 34 CONTINUED: 34 Penny starts to cry; Lois doesn't have the time or the interest. LOIS Penny, _hon_, now is not the time to panic. It'll, you know, be okay. Now -- what did they want you to tell Superman? (X) PENNY To meet Mr. Grady on the roof. Something about a installing a pulse convertor on a satellite... LOIS Okay. Now would be the time to panic... C'mon, if those Cirque du Soleil people can balance on 26 chairs while baking a pie, we should be able to get to our feet. They precariously get to their feet, manage to balance between the two of them. LOIS (CONT'D) _(pressing buttons) Good. Now. If we can get to the soundproofing remote, a couple healthy 'help, Supermans' and we're home free... PENNY (trying to direct blind) It's right over there -- (X) The TV goes on, the stereo, but the soundproof HUM persists. Now the scale model of Metropolis REVOLVES OUT of the wall, activated by one of the buttons Lois pushed. The mini-satellite ROTATES towards them, warming up. Lois pushes another button and the mini-satellite FIRES, blasting the credenza beside them into splinters! LOIS Okay. Wrong remote. (trying again) So... when you left word on Superman's machine... what number did you use? 35 INT. DAILY PLANET - NIGHT 35 Stacks of Chinese food take-out cartons on a desk. A very manic Jimmy paces by an open window, yelling: (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Gold Rev. 2/5/97 46. 35 CONTINUED: 35 JIMMY Heeelllllp! Super--! WHOOSH, BOOM! Superman stands in front of Jimmy. SUPERMAN What is it, Jimmy? JIMMY (rapid-fire) Superman, I did a terrible thing -- well, I didn't actually do it. But I didn't undo it. I sort of let this girl think I was... you. SUPERMAN What? JIMMY Well, I mean it all happened so fast. I was a 97% match, apparently. I just... she was so pretty. And she really liked me. I mean really, really liked me. Well, actually it was you she liked -- but she thought I was you, so in a way she liked me. I was afraid if I told her the truth -- plain old Jimmy Olsen wouldn't be good enough for her. SUPERMAN You were a 97% match? Really? (X) JIMMY Yeah. (X) SUPERMAN Jimmy, living someone else's life (X) can be fun... for a while. But at some point you have to be (X) yourself. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) Gold Rev. 2/5/97 47. 35 CONTINUED: 2 35 JIMMY Sure, sure -- but, Superman (X) SUPERMAN If you and this girl are meant to be together, that'll be enough. JIMMY But you don't understand, things (X) have gotten a little dicey. I checked my messages and Penny's being held captive... along with Lois. SUPERMAN What? JIMMY You're supposed to fly to the roof of the Diticom tower for further instructions... 'or else.' Superman suddenly looks away, concentrating. JIMMY (CONT'D) Uh, Superman? Did you hear what I just said? SUPERMAN Shhh. Quiet. I'm trying to listen... (a beat) No. Nothing. She's not calling for me... or she can't... Superman BLURS out the open window. After a beat, Jimmy realizes something... JIMMY (to himself) Or she's being held someplace you couldn't _hear_ her calling for you! And now a determined Jimmy bolts for the elevators. 36 EXT. DITICOM ROOFTOP - NIGHT 36 Grady stands on the rooftop. A control console is set up before him but his attention is on a small TV monitor. --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 48. 37 ON SCREEN 37 The space shuttle is just now blasting off. Off-screen, the WHOOSH of Superman's arrival fills the air. 38 RESUME GRADY 38 whose eyes remain on the shuttle launch, even as Superman CAPES in behind him. GRADY There it goes. My shuttle launch. (X) SUPERMAN Where're Lois and Penny? GRADY Evening, Superman. I've been (X) waiting for you. (X) Grady yanks a TARP off what we recognize is the pulse convertor for The Annihilator -- identical to the one that vaporized McBride -- but five times its size. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 49. 38 CONTINUED: 38 GRADY (CONT'D) If you'll just install my pulse (X) convertor on its orbiting platform, you can kick back and take a little R&R. Fly to Mazatlan with your girlfriend, get a little sun -- and leave running the planet to me. (re monitor and shuttle launch) But once that shuttle reaches the platform, all deals are off. I've instructed my man to do away with Lois Lane and the girl if it gets there before you do. SUPERMAN Even if The Annihilator becomes operational, once Lois and Penny are safe, I'll break it in half. GRADY Not unless you've been outrunning the speed of light lately. I'll be monitoring, and if you get anywhere near it again, the vaporization of North America is on your shoulders. 39 INT. GRADY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME 39 Using a rough edge of the splintered credenza, Lois and Penny tear free of their bonds. Lois goes to the window. LOIS Locked. Penny tries the office door. Locked. She rushes to the venetian blinds and peeks through at the secretarial area outside. Her eyes light up. PENNY I knew Superman would find us. LOIS He did? Penny waves her arms frantically, calling -- PENNY Superman! Hon! Over here! Lois crosses to see, not Superman but ... --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 50. 40 JIMMY 40 stepping out of the stairwell into plain sight. LOIS But that's not wait a second, you think Jimmy is Superman? Jimmy Olsen? PENNY I know it's shocking Ms. Lane, seeing as he works with you everyday, but yes, Jimmy Olsen is really the Man of Steel. LOIS We're not out of this yet, girlfriend... 41 INT. DITICOM NIGHT 41 Jimmy walks through the cubicles, wary. (X) JIMMY Penny? Lois? He sees the women peering through the venetian blinds Jimmy crosses to the window but despite their yelling, he can't hear a sound. They're pointing and waving, trying to tell him something... JIMMY (CONT'D) Soundproofed. Jimmy finds the door locked and, feeling for a key on the frame, spies... A JUNCTION BOX. Jimmy rips the casing off and yanks the wiring out. Suddenly the women's muffled cries can be heard: (X) LOIS Duck! And Jimmy turns in time to get clocked by Peters standing right behind him. Jimmy goes down. WHAM! 42 EXT. DITICOM ROOFTOP - NIGHT 42 Superman cocks his head, hearing PENNY AND LOIS suddenly audible. (X) SUPERMAN Sounds like that shuttle's dropped its boosters. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider your (X) plan? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) FULL Blue 1/24/97 51. 42 CONTINUED: 42 GRADY Reconsider? It's my duty as a patriot and a citizen of the world. I suggest you make a decision, Superman. SUPERMAN I already have. Superman snatches up the pulse converter and streaks up into the night sky. 43 INT. DITICOM - NIGHT 43 Penny watches at the window as Lois turns back to the room, searching. LOIS Where's that remote? PENNY I don't see them, Miss Lane... oh, dear I hope Superman's not (X) hurting him too badly... (X) (straining to see) Oh, I can't watch... (X) 44 SECRETARIAL AREA 44 Jimmy's getting his ass kicked. He fights back valiantly, but Peters is clearly the superior martial artist, as... 45 EXT. DITICOM ROOFTOP - NIGHT 45 CLOSE ON INDICATOR on Grady's console as it lights -- 'SYSTEM OPERATIONAL.' Grady salutes the sky. GRADY Thank you, Superman. We've just ushered in the future for, well, almost everyone. Grady reaches for another button on the console, this one labeled 'ENGAGE.' GRADY (CONT'D) And maybe next time West Virginia will spend a little more time coming up with an original name... He chortles piggishly, then presses the button and suddenly an ENERGY BEAM hits the rooftop, burning a line straight at him! Grady sees --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 52. 46 SUPERMAN 46 hovering a hundred feet above, holding the entire activated satellite! 47 GRADY 47 leaps away as the energy beam hits his console, EXPLODING it. The worthless satellite comes crashing down on the roof in a heap and Grady bolts for the rooftop door. But before, he can reach it, Superman is there, blocking his escape. 48 INT. DITICOM - NIGHT 48 A seething Jimmy gets to his feet, he takes a step toward Peters -- and Peters pulls a gun. He's just about to make quick work of Jimmy when -- BOOM! The door EXPLODES OUT, sending Peters flying. Even Jimmy's knocked back by the blast. Lois emerges through the smoke, holding the still smoldering mini-satellite. Through the SMOKE appears -- SUPERMAN! Penny rushes to him as he pulls Peters to his feet. Penny throws her arms around Superman. PENNY Superman, hon, I knew you'd come! She reacts now as... JIMMY appears through the smoke, coughing and gagging. PENNY (CONT'D) Wait a minute ... I don't believe this... You... You... aren't Superman? JIMMY Penny, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not what you thought I was. PENNY But... But... you lied to me?! (X) What kind of person _are_ you, (X) anyway? The things I told you... And you were never... You really _are_ just some normal guy, aren't you? JIMMY Yeah. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 53. 48 CONTINUED: 48 PENNY And you come barrelling in here, letting me think... Wait a minute... (re Peters) He had a _gun_ on you. You could have been _killed_. Suddenly, she grabs Jimmy, pulls him into a ferocious liplock. Jimmy reacts, stunned, then takes over. Lois and Superman watch, the heat of the moment starting to (X) get to them, as we go to: (X) 49 EXT. TOWNHOUSE - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT #4 49 Lois and Clark approach the door of the Townhouse. (X) CLARK Well This was one of the more (X) interesting birthdays I've had. (X) LOIS Clark, I tried so hard to pull off (X) a party for you (X) CLARK It's okay, honey. I like this better, anyway. LOIS You sure? CLARK Absolutely. Just you and me -- (X) LOIS Alone at last. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "AKA Superman" (#16) White Blue 2/6/97 54. 49 CONTINUED: 49 They push open the door, go into the entry. (X) LOIS (CONT'D) Jimmy and this Penny just might (X) work out. How 'bout that kiss she (X) gave him? (X) CLARK 'Kiss?' I thought she was gonna OR) inhale his head. (X) He looks at her. She looks at him. And suddenly they are (X) in a frenzy of kissing, groping, grabbing, pulling off each (X) other's clothes, all the while breathlessly gasping things (X) like: "Open the door" "You got the keys?" "I don't have (X) keys" "Where are my keys..." (X) 50 INT. TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT 50 The front door flies open and Lois and Clark lurch inside, (X) still intertwined, jackets being flung off, shirt being (X) ripped open, still kissing like maniacs. A moment of this, (X) then: Suddenly, the lights EXPLODE ON with a resounding chorus of "SURPRISE!" Lois and Clark stare at the Planeteers, including Jimmy, crowding their townhouse as a grinning Perry steps forward. PERRY I figured the only way to throw a surprise party for one of you is to surprise the both of you! So did it work? Are you surprised? CLARK Oh, yeah -- LOIS Stunned. And as Perry pulls them into the festivities, and we pull back ... FADE OUT _THE END_ --page break-- "AKA Superman" (Ep. #16) - Additional Dialogue PAGE 39 SCENE 32 INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT Penny orders dinner in A STREAM OF FLUENT CHINESE: PENNY (English Translation) Wo men yiao then (We would like to order gong bao jee ding Kung Pao chicken, jie lan niow row beef with Chinese broccoli, shre doe shia ren shrimp with snow peas, tsao yu pien. sauteed fillet fish.) Shien lie yi ge (We'll start with the san shien gwo ba tong. three flavor sizzling rice soup.) Shie shie. (Thanks.)