To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) (I had to tell the program I was using legal paper) left margin at 1", right margin at 0.5" Notes: Cover: "Home Is Where The Hurt Is", Teleplay by Eugenie Ross-Leming & Brad Buckner, [and] Story by William M. Akers are all in large bolt print. The remainder of the text is in Courier 10 (10 characters per inch) Note: no "Director" on cover. tease page (page 1), near bottom, Lois speaking, mentions a brother. Similar to mention in "Ordinary People" by same scriptwriters page 7: my copy has word missing/blanked out (during copying process, probably). Suspect the word is "carries" or something similar. page 10: same missing area Typos noted: Mid page 4, Clark speaking, repeat of the word "trying" in original when it should be only once. "All right" spelled incorrectly as "alright" in several places There is the occasional missing comma, like on page 43, near bottom, Lois, "Daddy[,] are you asking"... --page break-- (graphic - insert logo.bmp or logo.jpg) "Home Is Where The Hurt Is" EPISODE ELEVEN Prod. #457411 Teleplay by Eugenie Ross-Leming & Brad Buckner Story by William M. Akers _Production Draft_ October 17, 1995 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Home Is Where The Hurt Is_" _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE JIMMY OLSEN PERRY WHITE MARTHA KENT JONATHAN KENT ________________________________________________________________ DR. SAM LANE ELLEN LANE MINDY CHURCH JOHNNY BERMUDA BABY GUNDERSON HENCHMAN CRIME BOSS MUGGER SNITCH COP #1 INTERVIEWER TV NEWS REPORTER --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Home Is Where The Hurt Is_" _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Sidewalk Cafe Newsroom Perry's Office Orphanage Lois' Apartment Police Department Living Room Bedroom Gloomy Street Hallway Gloomy Alley Clark's Apartment Living Room Metropolis Street Bedroom Kitchen Top of Building Billboard Mindy's Lair Handyman's Lab --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Home Is Where The Hurt Is_" _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 11 DAY 1 SC. 12 - 30 NIGHT 1 SC. 31 - 62 DAY 2 SC. 63 NIGHT 2 SC. 64 - 77 DAY 3 SC. 70 - 79 NIGHT 4 --page break-- _LOIS AND CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "Home Is Where The Hurt Is" _TEASE_ FADE IN: 1 INT. DAILY PLANET - WITH PERRY - TRACKING - DAY #1 1 PERRY moves down the steps from vending machines, sipping coffee, reading a letter with a smile. All around the bullpen, Staffers are hanging garlands and Christmas decorations. He runs into JIMMY, loaded with files. PERRY (re letter) How about that? My son wants me to go skiing in Vermont with him for the holidays. What're _you_ doin' for Christmas? JIMMY My mom mentioned meeting her in Vegas. PERRY (as they pass Lois' desk) That's what the holidays are about, bein' with family. LOIS (under her breath) Long as it's not my family. CLARK comes up behind LOIS. CLARK You're not going to your mom's for Christmas? LOIS Clark, I just can't. My mother and sister do nothing but fight; my brother hides out; then my father phones, sending Mom into a depression, even though they've been _divorced_ for seventeen years! It's the same every year! CLARK So how did you get out of it? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 LOIS I said I had to cover for you, 'cause you were headed home to Smallville. So see, it's not a total lie, because you are headed home to Smallville. CLARK No, I'm not. My folks decided to come here. LOIS (deflated) God, it is a total lie. (then) Wait, your parents are coming here? I love your parents! They're just so.... not insane. Clark is staring at something O.S. CLARK Lois, some people have worse family trouble than yours... 2 INTERCUT THEIR POV - TV MONITORS 2 MINDY CHURCH is being interviewed, a microphone in her face. INTERVIEWER (O.S.) So Mrs. Church, with your husband in prison, you've devoted your fortune to aiding the destitute. MINDY And poor people, too. Oh, I wish my husband wasn't an evil monster who once ran all the crime in the city, but, whatever. I want to hug you, Metropolis, and become a true Metropolean myself. ON Lois and Clark's reaction, we... CUT TO: 3 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - CLOSE ON MINDY - DAY 3 MINDY All I want to do is fit in. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 3. 3 CONTINUED: 3 CAMERA PULLS BACK to find her in the former Bill Church lair, addressing four vicious-looking Crime Bosses. She takes a puff from a huge cigar. MINDY (CONT'D) I mean, you guys run the rackets, the prostitution, and the guns in Metropolis, what's left for a girl like me? A dumb old chain of Costmart stores? So I have a kind of a thought. I'll start up Intergang again, and Intergang will run all the crime in the city. Yes, I like it. CRIME BOSS (standing) A: We like bein' on our own. B: We ain't workin' for a woman. C: We most assuredly aren't workin' for _you_. Mindy sighs. The Crime Bosses start out, then look around in confusion as DOORS SLAM and an airline-type oxygen mask drops near Mindy. MINDY (stubbing out cigar) I'm sorry you feel that way. FEMALE VOICE (V.0.) (pleasantly) In the unlikely event of poison gas, pull the mask toward you and breathe normally. A HISS of gas as Mindy calmly presses mask to face. The Crime Bosses variously yell, pound on doors, draw guns as Smoke rises. The Crime Bosses clutch their throats and keel over. Mindy files her nails. BLACK. _END OF TEASE_ --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 4. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 4 EXT. GLOOMY INNER CITY STREET - DAY 4 A motley Salvation Army-type Santa rings a BELL near a collection pot as covered bodies are carried out of an abandoned storefront by coroner's people. A few press people take notes, Cameras FLASH, as we FIND Lois and Clark. LOIS (flips notebook shut) Eight crime bosses. Found together. Dead. Someone was mighty cranky today. They start walking away, CAMERA TRACKS with them. CLARK Sorta reminds me of the bad old days of Intergang, when Bill Church was putting every crook in town under his control. LOIS Clark, are we absolutely sure Intergang's finished? I mean, what if one of Bill Church's lieutenants... CLARK ... was trying trying to start it up again? LOIS Perry was talking to me about interviewing Mindy Church... I said I'd rather be buried alive, but maybe I was overreacting. She may have seen something or know something or.... (looks around) Clark? Clark's stopped to stare at an appliance store window. CLARK (points) Lois... Isn't that your father? Lois fearfully turns to look at the window. Her face falls. LOIS Oh no. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 5. 5 INTERCUT THEIR POV - TV IN STORE WINDOW 5 On TV in the window, DR. SAM LANE, hearty and exuberant, makes a sales pitch in a cheesy Infomercial set. SAM Hey there! Want better buns in ten days or less?!... LOIS Oh my God. SAM (rapid fire) The answer's in this little bottle! (slaps large medicine bottle) Dr. Sam Lane's patented Abs-in-a-Bottle, for the firm, taut, belly and butt favored by all! Two spoonfuls of this and... (into megaphone) _Prepare_ _to_ _be_ _ogled_! LOIS I can't take any more. She turns from the window, leans against a wall. LOIS (CONT'D) That man was a brilliant surgeon! He had a family and a good life! So he abandons us and goes off creating cyborgs and then _this_?! I know you thought I was exaggerating about my family! (waving toward tv) Well?! _Well_?! CLARK When we're married they'll be my family, too. LOIS So I guess that means you're backing out. CUT TO: 6 EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - ON KLEENEX BOX - DAY 6 A hand grabs a tissue, takes CAMERA to Mindy, who dabs emotionally at her eyes. Lois is also at the table. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 6. 6 CONTINUED: 6 MINDY (sniffling) Sorry to get emotional, but you just touched a nerve. LOIS Mindy, how is it you feel so bereft? Your husband did leave you in charge of millions and the chain of Costmart stores. MINDY Can a store keep you warm at night? Can a store call you 'honey bunny?' Can a store.... What else can't stores do? LOIS (lost) Poach an egg? MINDY Exactly. Besides, the Costmart board of directors won't listen to a thing I say. And I have lots of good ideas, Miss Lane. Lots and lots! Those guys make me sick. LOIS (writing) Sick, got it. Let me ask you about Intergang... MINDY Intergang is over! And I never knew anything about it when it wasn't over! Bill never told me anything! (in tears) I'm just a bird in a gilded case! LOIS (sighs, hands her a Kleenex) Cage. Gilded cage. MINDY Huh? CAMERA PANS to find a Clown walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 7. 7 WITH CLOWN 7 He _______es a cluster of helium balloons, three of which he releases as he passes across from the cafe. He exits. 8 THE BALLOONS 8 The three balloons sail across the street. Suspended from them is a tiny silver bomb. The balloons keep moving until they hover some distance above Lois and Mindy's table. Suddenly, in rapid succession, the three balloons POP and the bomb drops toward the table. 9 INTERCUT LOIS AND MINDY 9 They look up to see the silver object headed their way. Suddenly, a BLUR of blue and red and SUPERMAN appears at the table, catches the bomb in one hand just before it hits. SUPERMAN (to Lois) Hi. Then he BLURS away and there is an enormous EXPLOSION O.S. Lois and Mindy stare in shock. Superman BLURS back. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) Bomb. MINDY A bomb?! Oh, poor Lois. Who'd want to kill you? SUPERMAN Or you, Mrs. Church. LOIS Who'd wanna kill you? Mindy looks perplexed, we... CUT TO: 10 INT. HANDYMAN'S LAB - DAY 10 JOHNNY BERMUDA, handsome in a regular-guy way, wearing vintage Hawaiian shirt and jeans, works on a death ray aimed at the cut-out of a man. He's on the phone. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 8. 10 CONTINUED: 10 JOHNNY (into phone) No, Cheryl Marie, you cannot stay up past nine. Yes, honey, you can watch TV, but none of that gratuitous violence. He fires the RAY; the head of the cut-out EXPLODES. JOHNNY (CONT'D) See you tonight. He hangs up, checks the smoking target as Mindy flounces in. MINDY Johnny Bermuda? Also known as 'The Handyman,' the world's most feared assassin? JOHNNY Mrs. Church. How the hell did you find my lab? MINDY I asked around. You tried to blow me up today, Johnny. I don't appreciate that. JOHNNY What makes you think it was me? MINDY Clown, balloons, bomb... It all adds up. I suppose every crime boss in Metropolis chipped in. JOHNNY Or what's left of the crime bosses in Metropolis. The ones you didn't gas. (beat) I guess you're here to shoot me. MINDY No, you silly, I'm here to _hire_ you. JOHNNY What?! MINDY Face it, I have more cash than all these low-rent crooks put together. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 9. 10 CONTINUED: 2 10 MINDY (CONT'D) And once Intergang is back, I'll control all the action in town! (running fingers through his hair) All of it. JOHNNY (gently pulls away) Hey, hey, hey... MINDY There's only one fly in my ointment, Johnny Superman. I want him killed. JOHNNY Who doesn't? But the only thing that'll do the trick is Kryptonite. Which is under heavy guard at S.T.A.R. labs. MINDY (sultry) Forget Kryptonite. I'm thinking more, like, what if Superman got the flu? JOHNNY (disdainful) Think of that all by yourself, did you? MINDY It'd have to be a kind germ they have on Krypton. The kind of germ you might get immune to if you lived there. Only Superman never did. He came here when he was a baby. Now Johnny is starting to listen. JOHNNY If his body couldn't fight it off, a raging virus would kill him. (then) But where would you get a virus from Krypton? MINDY (calling toward door) Bring 'er in, boys! --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 10. 11 NEW ANGLE 11 A _____ter HENCHMAN and a Thug wheel in the tiny spaceship in which Clark first landed on earth. JOHNNY What is it? MINDY Oh, something I picked up from a secret government agency. The spaceship Baby Superman came to earth in. JOHNNY You ended a sentence with a preposition. MINDY My scientists scanned this thing and it's real germy, Johnny. The little bugs crystallized when the ship's coating heated up in the earth's atmosphere. JOHNNY (getting caught up) So if we could... isolate the microbes' D.N.A., we could start growing our own. MINDY Yes! But my stupid scientists can't make the germs _grow_! It really burns me up. JOHNNY Why do you think I can pull this off? MINDY (moving in seductively) You're the Handyman. That's what you do. Pull things off. She's dangerously close, gazing smolderingly into his eyes. CUT TO: 12 INT. HALLWAY - LOIS' APT. BUILDING - ON LOIS - NIGHT #1 12 Returning from work, Lois rounds a corner, looking through mail she's just picked up, now looks up and: LOIS Clark! --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 11. 13 ANGLE TO INCLUDE CLARK 13 He's in the process of unlocking her door, carrying an armload of take-out cartons. As she nears him: CLARK Lois, where've you been? LOIS I stayed late to finish the Mindy story. Why would someone try to kill her? Revenge? Keep her from getting something she wants? Thanks for grabbing that bomb, by the way... (notices) Why so much take-out? CLARK You invited my parents and me for dinner. I guess you forgot. LOIS Oh! Oh, Clark! I'm sorry! 14 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 14 Lois charges in, followed by Clark. JONATHAN and MARTHA are there, setting the table. LOIS (kissing them) Jonathan! Martha! I am _so_ sorry! I forgot all about dinner! JONATHAN No big deal. Lois grabs take-out cartons, starts opening them. MARTHA Lois, listen, there's something you should... DOORBELL. LOIS (rushing to door) Excuse me, Martha... Clark, napkins are in that bottom drawer. JONATHAN Lois, while Clark was out... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 12. 14 CONTINUED: 14 Lois opens door to reveal ELLEN LANE, a handsome, tailored woman, emotionally fried. ELLEN Surprise! LOIS Mother! ELLEN Lois! CLARK Oh boy. ELLEN I couldn't stand the thought of my baby alone and miserable in this wretched city for Christmas! (enters, sees Kents) Oh. (beat) Actually, I pictured you more alone than this. LOIS Uh. Well. Yes. Uh. Mother, this is Clark MARTHA Lois, could I see you for a... LOIS And these are Clark's parents. MARTHA Lois.... A TOILET FLUSHES O.S. They all freeze. Then: SAM (O.S.) Surprise!! 15 NEW ANGLE 15 Standing in the bathroom doorway is Sam Lane. LOIS Daddy! SAM Princess! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 13. 15 CONTINUED: 15 ELLEN Sam! SAM Ellen! CLARK Oh boy. LOIS (weakly) I'm sorry, Martha, you were trying to tell me something. MARTHA Your father's here. BLACK. _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 14. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 16 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT 16 Everyone's frozen in emotional limbo. ELLEN I'm leaving. LOIS Mother, no, you can't! ELLEN Yes, I can. (re Sam) You invited _him_. LOIS No I didn't! ELLEN Then why is he here? SAM I'm the father. ELLEN Not for the last seventeen years! SAM It's the holiday season! Time to mend my fences. CLARK Tell you what, let's all have a glass of holiday cheer. MARTHA Yes! A glass of holiday cheer! ELLEN I'm an alcoholic. MARTHA Oh. Uh-huh. SAM Ellen, I was kind of hoping you'd view our past as I do. ELLEN A cesspool of abandonment and humiliation? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 15. 16 CONTINUED: 16 SAM As past! Over! When we parted I was bitter with life and the medical profession, but now I have a whole new lease on life! ELLEN (grabbing bag) Good-bye, Lois. LOIS Mother... SAM (crossing to window) Wait, don't go, Ellen. I want to introduce you all to someone special. (shouts out window) Come on up, Honey! ELLEN You brought a _date_?! SAM (crossing to door) We need to be grown-ups and get everything out in the open. LOIS She's outside? It's freezing! SAM Oh, she doesn't mind. Sam flings open the door to reveal BABY GUNDERSON; gorgeous, curvy, in her twenties, underdressed. They all stare. SAM (CONT'D) I'd like you to meet my fiancee, Baby Gunderson. ELLEN My God, she's nine years old. LOIS Well. Hello, uh, Baby, gee, you must be cold. BABY GUNDERSON I do not feel the cold. MARTHA Eggnog? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 16. 16 CONTINUED: 2 16 BABY GUNDERSON I do not drink. ELLEN Not yet, that is. SAM Ellen, don't think of her as a human being... CLARK Now that's a bit harsh, sir SAM I made her. LOIS Excuse me?! SAM _Built_ her! You know how I used to tinker with cyborgs. Baby Gunderson's an improvement; one hundred percent machine. ELLEN Of all the psycho, sicko, sexual... Nothing personal, Baby... SAM ELLEN For the love of You pull away Mike, Ellen, it's from us and this kind of medicine and the closed-mindedness whole world, so that drove us of _course_ you apart in the want to marry a first place. Why robot! Why am I can't we just let surprised? I'm go of the past not surprised! and move on?! 17 LOIS AND CLARK 17 During this last, Lois has taken Clark aside, and: LOIS We're definitely going to elope. CUT TO: --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 17. 18 INT. HANDYMAN'S LAB - NIGHT 18 Johnny Bermuda's on the phone, at his workbench tinkering with an enormous automatic weapon JOHNNY (into phone) Two quarts of milk? Sure, darlin', I'll pick 'em up; make sure Cheryl Marie does her homework. Love you, too Mindy has entered during this. JOHNNY (CONT'D) It's tough juggling career and family life. At least I manage to leave my work at the office. MINDY Coroner's office. I got your message. JOHNNY I've been able to introduce an electro-chemical exciter to the virus' DNA, and the damn stuff's begun replicating. MINDY I love when viruses do that! JOHNNY Yes. But virus growing is a painstaking process. It could take months to produce the amount we need. MINDY No! Tell it to hurry up! JOHNNY Mrs. Church, whining won't alter the laws of nature. She takes his chin, gazes into his eyes. MINDY We'll see. (nods to box) Let me have a peak. JOHNNY Okay, but at this stage it's invisible to the naked eye. He grabs the door handle of a stainless steel incubator box. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 18. 19 ANGLE FROM INSIDE INCUBATOR 19 The door opens to reveal, behind glass, a tight close-up of Mindy and Johnny peering in. Johnny's mouth falls open; he's stunned. We PULL BACK to find the tops popped off of the eight or so petri dishes. Fuzzy fingers of virus sprout from the dishes, climb the walls of the box. 20 JOHNNY AND MINDY 20 He slams the door, breathing hard in amazement. MINDY Is it dangerous? To us? JOHNNY Nah, it's not a virus we'd respond to. But on Krypton... It must be the most vicious thing going. MINDY And you did it all by yourself! Little Cheryl Marie will be so proud! JOHNNY Well, honesty compels me to admit I did have some help. MINDY Who? JOHNNY Dr. Gerhard Krim. Noted microbiologist and genetic engineer. MINDY Johnny, can we trust him? Will he tell anyone? JOHNNY Gerhard? No way. He won't say a word. He opens a closet to reveal a dead scientist, in lab coat, hanging on a hook. JOHNNY (CONT'D) We're old friends. He tosses the door shut as Mindy runs her hands over his chest. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 19. 20 CONTINUED: 20 MINDY You've got brains, Johnny. In all the right places. I like that in a man. He removes her hands. JOHNNY Superman's as good as gone. CUT TO: 21 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - BEDROOM AREA - NIGHT 21 Ellen lies on the bed; Lois changes the cold compress over her eyes. Clark enters with paper bag. CLARK Lois, I put the word out to every snitch we know to see what's goin' on with crime in Metropolis (pulls bottle from bag) And here's the aspirin you wanted. ELLEN I doubt a pill can relieve years of neglect and betrayal. LOIS Try two. Thanks, Clark. He goes. Ellen sits up, nods in Clark's direction. ELLEN Tell me the truth, what do you know about him? Don't make the same mistake I did! LOIS Mother, don't do this. You're projecting your troubles with Daddy onto Clark and me. We're _different_. ELLEN Sure. You think you know Clark. I thought I knew your father. He was a brilliant surgeon, I was his loyal nurse. We had it all, but apparently it wasn't enough for Sam. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 20. 21 CONTINUED: 21 LOIS (gently) I know. It was really a bad thing that happened. But at some point I had to decide whatever hell Daddy was going through was _his_, and not let it wreck the rest of my life. And... I think you should stop letting it wreck yours. 22 THE LIVING ROOM 22 A Delivery Man is setting down a Christmas tree as Lois enters, reacts. Sam pays the man, who leaves. SAM Surprise! I noticed you didn't have a tree, yet. What do you think, Princess? LOIS Daddy, I'm not sure what I think. You've been gone so long, and now suddenly we're doing Christmas.... SAM I'm pushing too hard, is that it? CLARK Dr. Lane, Baby Gunderson's been sweeping the same spot for about twenty minutes, now... Baby Gunderson stands sweeping the same tiny spot. SAM Just give her a little knock in the head, she'll be fine. LOIS That's the other thing, Dad... You can't expect Mother to sit around stringing popcorn with... (nods toward Baby) You know... SAM Spending one evening with a robot's so terrible? LOIS No, being replaced by one is. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 21. 22 CONTINUED: 22 SAM You're right, you're right, I have to be more sensitive. Baby! Get in the closet. LOIS Daddy! SAM (opens door) What? Easy storage is her best feature. We only got the last ticket here 'cause I flew coach and Baby flew cargo. She's entered the closet. PHONE RINGS. Clark grabs it. SAM (CONT'D) (tosses door shut) See? Just like the old days. Ellen staggers out, holding compress to her head. LOIS Look, Mother, Daddy got a tree. ELLEN So. Sam. Still making decisions for everyone. LOIS Mother, could you _try_ to get along? For me? All three start to get into it, but: CLARK Lois, could I see you for a minute? 23 LOIS AND CLARK 23 He takes her aside, during: CLARK Long Legs Lulu called. She knows what's goin' on in the streets and needs to see us _now_. LOIS Perfect. Mother, Dad, something's come up... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 22. 23 CONTINUED: 23 CLARK ... a work thing... LOIS (grabs coat from couch) We have to go out for a minute. Suddenly Clark freezes, hearing a distant cry for help. Lois notices, and they huddle again. LOIS (CONT'D) What do you hear? CLARK Someone's on a building, about to jump! LOIS Go! Clark dashes for the door, passing a dazed Sam and Ellen. He pauses at the door... CLARK LOIS I gotta get some He has to feed gas. his dog. They stare at each other, then Clark dashes out. LOIS Well! I'll be back soon! Ellen grabs her, whispers furiously: ELLEN You are not leaving me here with that man and his android! LOIS Mother, we got a tip from an informant and.... ELLEN (crossing to closet) I've always wanted to see you in action! I'll get my coat. LOIS It could be dangerous! Deadly. Very deadly. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 23. 23 CONTINUED: 2 23 ELLEN I have so little to live for, it hardly matters. (yanks open closet) Oh God! Baby Gunderson stands cheerfully among the coats. KNOCK at DOOR, Sam yanks it open. The Kents stand there with a Christmas tree. MARTHA/JONATHAN Surprise!! BABY GUNDERSON (holds out dish) Anyone care for a cashew? CUT TO: 24 EXT. GLOOMY ALLEY - WITH LOIS AND ELLEN NIGHT 24 The red light district. Two Winos sit slumped against a wall, sharing a bottle, as Ellen and Lois gingerly step over them. ELLEN These people are your informants? What possible information could they have? They stop at a doorway. LOIS This is Lulu's office. I wonder where she is. ELLEN Maybe she's on a break. LOIS Mother, Lulu is a hooker. It's not a union job. ELLEN Your friend is a _streetwalker_? LOIS (notices something) Maybe not anymore.... --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 24. 25 NEW ANGLE 25 In the f.g. are a woman's feet,in high heels, sticking out of a trash can. Lois and Ellen approach, Ellen horrified. Lois peers down into the trash can. LOIS Oh no. Lulu. A NOISE. Lois spins to see a shadowy figure dart inside a doorway. LOIS (CONT'D) Stay here. Maybe that person saw something. She dashes off and into the doorway. ELLEN But... Ellen backs fearfully away from the body. Behind her, a silhouetted figure of the HENCHMAN in a dark overcoat steps into FRAME. HENCHMAN I thought we told you babes to stay off these streets tonight. ELLEN You have me mistaken for someone else. My daughter and I are here in a professional capacity. HENCHMAN Not on this corner. No babes work this corner without our okay. ELLEN Now look, you.... He pulls out a gun. ELLEN (CONT'D) (terrified) I'll tell her! With little terrified screeches, Ellen runs after Lois, we CUT TO: 26 EXT. TOP OF BUILDING - BILLBOARD - NIGHT 26 Shooting up over the roof's edge at a billboard for "Nice Nose" nasal spray. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 25. 26 CONTINUED: 26 It features a large cutout nose, which receives periodic sprays from a decongestant bottle in the form of a fine mist. A piece of catwalk extends out from the bottom of the board, and on this stands Mindy, looking forlorn. CAMERA MOVES IN as Superman LANDS near her. SUPERMAN (surprised) Mrs. Church? MINDY No, don't try to stop me. Jumping is the only answer to my loneliness. SUPERMAN (a bit dubious) Now surely a woman as attractive, rich, and successful as you has reasons to live. MINDY So often beautiful women become prisoners of their charms. 27 INTERCUT REAR OF BILLBOARD 27 Johnny's near the mechanism supplying the spray mist. He injects the hoses with a large syringe marked "Virus." MINDY (sniffling) Furthermore, my beauty reminds me of men. And men remind me of my incarcerated husband. And that reminds me I can no longer live with the scorn of being a crime lord's wife. 28 CLOSE ON NOSE 28 The mist wafts around Superman, who fans it out of his face. SUPERMAN Look, you've turned your husband's wealth into charitable donations; you're reaching out to the community. You're gonna do fine in this town. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 26. 29 INTERCUT SIDE OF SIGN 29 Mindy sees Johnny's hand poke out and make the "okay" sign. MINDY Well, since you put it that way.... (suddenly fine) Okay. SUPERMAN There you go. MINDY Could you take me to some poor people? 30 BEHIND SIGN 30 Johnny closes his bag, smiles to himself. JOHNNY It won't be long, big guy, and your flying days'll be over. BLACK. _END OF ACT TWO_ --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 27. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 31 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE ON SKI BOOTS - DAY #2 31 The boots are locked into bindings on a pair of skis as we PULL BACK to find Perry in the boots, holding ski poles, trying to tuck into downhill position. Jimmy looks on. JIMMY Bend your knees, Chief! You gotta bend your knees! PERRY Olsen, you tell me to bend my knees one more time and I'll bend yours permanently! Lois sticks her head in the door. LOIS I filed a story on Mindy Church's suicide attempt, like you asked. (starts away) But frankly, I think she's up to something. Perry CLOMPS after her. In the b.g., his desk phone rings, Jimmy picks it up. 32 INT. BULLPEN - WITH LOIS AND PERRY 32 They've reached Clark's desk, where Clark is working. PERRY I understand Superman talked her down. He apparently disagrees with you. CLARK It's... possible she really is desperate and alone. LOIS Boy, you guys are sentimental softies. PERRY Oh really. Superman's a 'sentimental softy?' (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 28. 32 CONTINUED: 32 LOIS (sly smile at Clark) He's worse than all of you. Clark grins back. Jimmy rushes out. JIMMY Uh Chief, your son just called. Alice found out about the ski trip and he had to invite her, too. PERRY Judas priest. (clomps back to office) We're split up! Do I buy her a gift? What's the etiquette on this? LOIS (dryly) Family is what the holidays are all about, Chief. Perry goes. CLARK (gently) Gee, you really got burned, didn't you? LOIS What do you mean? CLARK When your family started falling apart... It must've been really painful for you. I guess I am kind of a softy. But it's probably what I learned as a kid. The bravado drains away and Lois leans against his desk. LOIS You know... When my father left... I thought it was because of me. Then I realized it's just the way people are. They make the deepest commitments to each other... have children, even... And just walk away from it all. That's what I learned as a kid. Clark reaches out and takes her hand. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 29. 32 CONTINUED: 2 32 CLARK Not everyone walks away. She squeezes his hand, smiles softly. LOIS Oh, I hope not. A nice moment, then suddenly Clark sneezes! LOIS (CONT'D) Bless you! Clark just sits there in real surprise. CLARK Uh... thanks... LOIS Wait a minute. I've never seen you sneeze. Ever. CLARK (concern creeping into his voice) That's... because I never have. CUT TO: 33 EXT. CITY STREET - WITH ELLEN AND MARTHA - TRACKING - DAY 33 Everyone's bundled up; the streets are dressed for the holidays. Ellen and Martha carry shopping bags. ELLEN Has Lois mentioned what kind of wedding she'd like? MARTHA To be honest, I have heard the word 'elope.' ELLEN Oh dear. That's probably my influence. MARTHA You encouraged her to elope? ELLEN Not exactly. I said in my case a big wedding was money down a rat hole. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 30. 33 CONTINUED: 33 MARTHA You _said_ that? ELLEN Well, maybe once. Or twice, or eight hundred times. As they near a shadowy niche between buildings. A MUGGER steps from the shadows with a gun aimed at them. ELLEN (CONT'D) Oh! MUGGER Step back. They step back into the shadows, as: MUGGER (CONT'D) Gimme your purses. Then stay put. Ellen quickly does, Martha is annoyed but complies, the Mugger dashes off. MARTHA Let's go! ELLEN He said to stay put! MARTHA (grabs Ellen's hand) Maybe we'll see where he went! 34 NEW ANGLE 34 The mugger dashes around the corner of a building and the two women run after him. They reach the corner, peer around. 35 INTERCUT THEIR POV - GLOOMY ALLEY 35 The Mugger is himself being mugged. The Henchman has a nastier gun trained on the Mugger, who is handing over the two purses. HENCHMAN How many times do we have to say it? You don't work for us, you don't work. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 31. 35 CONTINUED: 35 ELLEN (hissing) That's the same man I saw last night!! The Henchman hustles the Mugger into the back of a van, jumps in after him, the Driver floors it and the van SCREECHES off. Ellen stares, astonished, as Martha silently mouths the license number, memorizing it. CUT TO: 36 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - ON PHONE CONSOLE - DAY 36 The big phone console has dozens of lines, all of which are flashing or lit as an Intergang Worker frantically works the phones. We PAN to the lit-up machine consoles and computers where Workers enter information, then to the map of Metropolis where Workers spot new conquests, map out territories. Finally we come to Mindy, feet on desk, cigar in mouth, poring through a print-out, checking off items. HENCHMAN It's like the good old days, Mrs. Church. Once this town figured out we meant business... MINDY (eyes narrowing) _Who_ meant business? HENCHMAN _You_ meant business... Every operation in the city... Numbers, gambling, gangs, protection... They're all fallin' in line. Intergang is back! 37 NEW ANGLE 37 as the elevator opens and Johnny Bermuda enters. Delighted, Mindy stashes the stogie, rushes to see him. JOHNNY Superman must be sick as a dog. The virus should be going nuts by now. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 32. 37 CONTINUED: 37 MINDY (takes his arm) That's really neat, Johnny, but I've been doing additional thinking. As they pass a table, she scoops up a Daily Planet. MINDY (CONT'D) Those reporters, Lois Lane and Clark Kent, are writing about crime in Metropolis and how they think someone is organizing it. JOHNNY So? MINDY Well, it's annoying. JOHNNY I guess that means you want them dead. MINDY Is that a big deal? JOHNNY You're becoming a full time job. Mrs. Church, when does all this killing end? MINDY I don't know, is there a rule? (drawing closer) I'm sure you'll come up with something wonderful. JOHNNY Gimme a minute. (then) Okay, got it. MINDY Yay. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 33. 37 CONTINUED: 2 37 JOHNNY I can rig their microwave ovens so at the end of the Cook cycle, the oven will emit a high-pitched tone, undetectable by the human ear, yet so intense it'll rupture the blood vessels in their brains and kill them in seconds, with all the appearance of a stroke. MINDY (breathless) Oh! Oh, Johnny. I don't know what to say. Yes, I do. And she grabs him in an enormous kiss, pulling away with difficulty, her hands running down his chest. He gazes at her evenly as she recovers. JOHNNY Mrs. Church, you and I are both married, and I believe in the sanctity of the home. Now if you'll excuse me... I have a school play to go to... He smiles and goes. Mindy stares after him in horror. CAMERA MOVES IN on her as her eyes narrow. MINDY (dangerous mutter) I don't really like rejection, Johnny. CUT TO: 38 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - ON SAM LANE - DAY 38 SAM (with importance) Male lips. WIDEN to reveal Jonathan Kent trying to follow. The two Christmas trees stand nearby. SAM (CONT'D) I'm talking implants, Jonathan. Men can already enlarge anything else on their bodies, but lips are largely virgin territory. He pulls a pair of shiny rubber lips from his pocket. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 34. 38 CONTINUED: 38 SAM (CONT'D) Imagine going through life with a set of these,babies. Baby Gunderson totters by with a tray of empty pitcher and glasses, exits FRAME, during: SAM (CONT'D) An investment of fifty grand, and you're in. An O.S. CRASH. SAM (CONT'D) Baby! Could you hold it down a little? Baby totters back through FRAME in b.g. JONATHAN Well, I follow the market pretty closely. Everything I've read points to a bad year for rubber lips. Another CRASH. Sam leaps up, crosses to closet. SAM Baby! Honey, I think it's nap time. (opens closet) Later we'll rent a movie; your favorite, 'Robocop.' Baby smiles, walks into the closet, Sam plucks kitchen magnets off her face. SAM (CONT'D) I warned you not to get so close to the fridge. He tosses aside the magnets, closes door as Ellen and Martha enter, trailed by Lois and Clark in agitated conversation. CLARK Mom, it's _great_ you got the license number, I'm just saying you shouldn't chase muggers. LOIS It's okay, Martha, he tells me the exact same thing. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 35. 38 CONTINUED: 2 38 Clark crosses into kitchen, looking none too good. Ellen, rushes to Sam. SAM What happened?! ELLEN Sam, a mugger stole our purses! SAM JONATHAN Oh my God! Are you alright? Both men reflexively hug their wives. Ellen is startled as she and Sam both realize he has his arms around her. ELLEN Why, Sam... He sheepishly smiles, lowers his arms. Meanwhile: 39 KENTS AND LOIS 39 MARTHA (alarmed) Lois... Something's very wrong with Clark. LOIS I know, I keep telling him to go to bed, but he won't listen. PHONE RINGS, Lois grabs it, Martha and Jonathan go to kitchen. LOIS (CONT'D) (into phone) Hello? Oh, hi, Jimmy. You did? Let's have it. (deflated) What? Are you sure? Thanks. 40 KITCHEN 40 LOIS Guess who owns the van. Our favorite cover operation... Costmart. CLARK (reaches for tie) I think I'll hop over there and do a little scan.... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 36. 40 CONTINUED: 40 He suddenly coughs, looks very wobbly. MARTHA You're doing no such thing! Sit down. Clark sinks into a kitchen chair. There's a SIZZLE and a bit of SMOKE issues from the fabric. Alarmed, Martha feels his forehead. MARTHA (CONT'D) Honey, you're burning up! LOIS Clark! JONATHAN Son, let's take you home and get you to bed. CLARK (weakly) Okay, okay. So... this is what being sick feels like. (glances at clock) Oh wait, there's just one thing I gotta do first... CUT TO: 41 EXT. RUN-DOWN STREET - ORPHANAGE - HIGH ANGLE - DAY 41 A crowd of kids waits outside the grim facade marked "King Street Children's Home." A small group of Media types are also in attendance as CAMERA CRANES DOWN to include a TV NEWS REPORTER. TV NEWS REPORTER ... The kids here at the Children's Home are eagerly awaiting the arrival of one of their favorite people in what has become an annual event... 42 INTERCUT LOIS 42 She makes her way through the crowd, craning her neck as: KIDS (O.S.) Look! There he is! He's coming! There he is! --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 37. 43 WIDE 43 The kids and crowd erupt in APPLAUSE as Superman, BLURS into view, then, trying to look energized, floats down with a big Christmas tree. The kids flock around him. FLASHBULBS, TV CAMERAS SUPERMAN (to kids) Hey, how you doin'? It wouldn't feel like the holidays if I didn't come see you guys (to press) Maybe some of you in our city are thinking your family could use one more little person. Please remember my buddies here. Suddenly, from O.S., the sound of SLEIGH BELLS, and: MINDY (O.S.) Ho! Ho! Ho! Everyone turns and: 44 NEW ANGLE 44 Coming onto the street is a convertible Rolls Royce pulled by eight muscular young men in running tights, reindeer antlers on their heads. Mindy is perched atop the rear seat wearing a short, sexy "Santa" outfit, ringing a bell, speaking through a cordless mike. Stuffed into the rear seat are such kid-alienating items as designer purses, glass sculptures, desk blotters, lingerie, etc. MINDY Hello, and Merrr-ry Christmas to my adopted hometown, Metropolis! I love kids. I mean, I used to _be_ one. You orphans give me the gift of reminding me how fortunate I am to be wealthy, so I want to give something back! 45 INTERCUT KIDS, CROWD, VARIOUS ANGLES 45 JINGLE BELL ROCK issues from speakers on the car as Mindy tosses gifts to the kids. One dazed boy catches a designer purse, another kid a martini shaker, a third a lacy teddy. 46 SUPERMAN 46 He's sweating, looking shaky. Lois steps up beside him. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 38. 46 CONTINUED: 46 SUPERMAN I'm sick. LOIS You aren't the only one. SUPERMAN Seriously. I'd better get out of here. Lois is now very alarmed, she clears a path for Superman, who gamely smiles, waves, and makes his way toward a corner building. 47 MINDY 47 MINDY (still tossing) I love you! I love you all! Then she notes with satisfaction that Superman is walking shakily away. 48 ALLEY 48 Lois and Superman come into the alley and he leans heavily against a building. He's pale, panting. SUPERMAN Aw, man. And he slips down the side of the building to the ground. LOIS Clark! 49 MINDY 49 MINDY Ho, ho, ho. BLACK. _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 39. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 50 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DAY 50 Superman lies on the bed, Martha, very upset, wrings out a washcloth in cold water, places it on his head. Lois and Jonathan stand worriedly in the doorway. SUPERMAN Thanks, Mom. MARTHA I'm going to let you rest. 51 INT. CLARK'S LIVING ROOM ON MARTHA - DAY 51 Martha, Lois, and Jonathan turn away from bedroom area. MARTHA (fighting panic) My boy is sick. For the first time in his life. LOIS Martha, does he have any medical records? X-rays? Anything that shows how his body works? KNOCK at door. Lois goes to it, as: JONATHAN Nothing. There just was never the need. She opens the door to reveal Sam and Ellen. SAM We got here as quick as we could. What's going on? LOIS Daddy... You're a doctor. SAM Thanks for remembering, Sweetie. LOIS I was wondering if you could take a look at a friend of mine. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 40. 52 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DAY 52 Sam and Lois appear at the entrance, Sam looks stunned as we INCLUDE Superman. Ellen and Martha appear behind him. SAM Lois... Superman? LOIS He and Clark are very close. Martha stifles a sob. LOIS (CONT'D) Clark's out on assignment, so when Superman got sick, I brought him here. Sam moves closer. Superman is obviously worse; feverish, weak. Sam feels for pulse, temperature, swollen glands. LOIS (CONT'D) Daddy... We need your help. I need your help. SAM (approaching her) Lois, he's very ill. His physiology may be totally different from ours, and I haven't practiced for fifteen years..! LOIS I know. But when I was little, I knew my father was a brilliant doctor. (to Ellen) Wasn't he? (Ellen nods 'yes') If I never ask anything else of you, be that doctor again. A silence fills the room. Then Sam touches her cheek and takes off his coat. Lois smiles gratefully, exits to the living room with Martha. Sam is near the bed, glances back, surprised to see Ellen standing there. ELLEN (awkwardly) I... was wondering if you needed a good nurse. CUT TO: --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 41. 53 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY 53 Johnny Bermuda finishes the last of rigging Lois' microwave. The covering's been removed from the face of the unit, and he is installing a small metal device inside before reattaching the panel. He takes out a cell phone and dials. CAMERA MOVES TO the outside of the closet, as: JOHNNY (into phone) Reporting in. Yeah, it's me. 54 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - CLOSET - BABY GUNDERSON 54 She stands there, inert. MOVE IN as: JOHNNY (O.S.) ... The Handyman. Everything's all set to go. I'm headed back to the wharf. Baby's eyes flutter in reaction. CUT TO: 55 CLOSE ON - HEADLINES 55 The Daily Planet spins out at us from darkness. Headlines read: "Crime Wave Grips City." 56 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 56 Chaos! Outside, SIRENS scream. Staffers dash around, talk furiously on phones, pound on keyboards. FIND Perry as he stalks through the room, pausing at an editor's desk: PERRY Cancel all vacations, no one goes home for the weekend... Jimmy races up carrying computer printouts and wire copy. JIMMY A robbery every eight minutes... Muggings on every street corner... Cops completely out manned... It's like a war out there. CUT TO: --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 42. 57 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - DAY 57 Serene, calm, precision clockwork. Workers calmly move markers over maps, pull print-outs from computers. Mindy's at her desk, on phone headset, painting her nails. MINDY (calm and serene) Okay, activate sector nine. Robbery unit head to Metropolis Savings and Loan.... CUT TO: 58 INT. DAILY PLANET - NEWSROOM - DAY 58 Workers run, PHONES RING, SIRENS. JIMMY (reads from printouts) ... The Central Armory is under siege... A shopping mall's been taken hostage... PERRY Is this whole damn city gonna collapse? Where're Lois and Clark? And where the Sam Hill is Superman? CUT TO: 59 INT. CLARK'S KITCHEN - DUSK 59 The room is shadowy, lit by the setting sun. Sam pores through medical books, medicine bottles lie nearby. Lois brings over coffee. Ellen stands wearily by a window, a SIREN goes by. Distant GUNFIRE. ELLEN (dully) Another siren. I've never heard so many sirens. A tired Martha comes from the bedroom with a tray, hands it to Jonathan, who's on dish duty. MARTHA He's asleep again. (emotionally) It's so hard for him to breathe. Lois touches her shoulder. Sam takes off glasses, rubs his eyes. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 43. 59 CONTINUED: 59 SAM Everything points to a rampaging viral infection. No medicine I know of seems to be effective, and I'm afraid it's overwhelming his system. (then) He's very lucky to have you all here. LOIS Not as lucky as we are to have him. She breaks down. Sam stands, takes her in his arms. LOIS (CONT'D) Daddy...? Save him. Sam walks her toward the bedroom. SAM Lois, you were a little girl when you thought I could do miracles. Now you're grown up, and you know miracles come at a price. LOIS I know. SAM There is one very controversial treatment. The theory is to take the host body to the point of death. As it begins to die, it can no longer support the invading virus. It's a great risk... bringing your friend close enough to death to starve out the virus, yet pull him back to life afterwards. They've reached the bedroom. LOIS Daddy are you asking me to make this decision for him? INCLUDE Superman, as: SUPERMAN (weakly) You don't have to. The answer is yes. DISSOLVE TO: --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 44. 60 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - ON LOIS DUSK 60 She's an the phone. LOIS Yes, Dr. Klein. You heard me correctly. I'll put Superman on, you can confirm that with his voice print. She passes the phone to Superman. SUPERMAN It's me, Dr. Klein. Deliver it as Lois asked. DISSOLVE TO: 61 INT. CLARK'S LIVING ROOM - ON SEALED BOX - DUSK 61 The heavy lead box lies on a rolling cart. The box is sealed all over with S.T.A.R. Labs yellow tape. Sam pushes it past the fearful Kents, and into the bedroom where Lois stands near the bed, holding Superman's hand. LOIS (suddenly panicking) Look, you can change your mind... There's still time... SAM I'm afraid there isn't. (to Superman) You understand, I've never done this procedure in quite this way before? SUPERMAN I understand. Lois grips Superman's hand tighter as Sam cuts the seals. He glances at Lois and Superman, Lois holds her breath, Sam opens the box to reveal a chunk of GLOWING Kryptonite. Superman reacts in pain, gripping Lois' hand. SAM This won't be easy, Honey. DISSOLVE TO: 62 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DUSK - LATER 62 Superman lies near the Kryptonite, obviously suffering. Lois is nearby, drained. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 45. 62 CONTINUED: 62 LOIS Can you forgive me? SUPERMAN (near whisper) Forgive you? LOIS For putting you through this. SUPERMAN You had no choice. We had no choice. LOIS Can you forgive me for being selfish? Competitive at work? Too busy too often? SUPERMAN Don't apologize for the things I love about you. Your fire, your strength. LOIS Remember once I asked how you felt about me... And you said being with me was stronger than you alone? Grab onto that strength now. We'll be strong enough for everybody. SUPERMAN (very faint) I love you. She kisses him, but as she pulls back from his lips, she sees he's unconscious. LOIS Daddy!! Sam comes rushing in, checks Superman. SAM (softly) He's in a coma. DISSOLVE TO: 63 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - NIGHT #2 63 Lights are low. Lois is asleep next to Superman, her head on his chest. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 46. 63 CONTINUED: 63 Sam stands at the window, staring blearily out. A distant SIREN. Jonathan enters. JONATHAN (whispering) May I? Sam smiles, touches Jonathan's shoulder. SAM Jonathan, I wanna thank you for being so good to my little girl. It's been tough for her to trust people, and I feel somewhat to blame for that. I'm thrilled she found Clark. JONATHAN (stoically) He's a special son. SAM He must be. (watching Lois) And Superman must be a special friend. JONATHAN He and my boy have a lot in common. LOIS (waking) Has there been any change? SAM Not yet. Except you're more drained than I've ever seen you. I want you to take a break. Go to your place for a while. LOIS I can't leave. Jonathan tell him I can't. JONATHAN Lois, Martha's feeling poorly... We'd both like it if you came with us for a bit. (then) I think Clark would appreciate it, too. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 47. 63 CONTINUED: 2 63 SAM I promise I'll call the minute there's a change. Ellen's in the doorway with blood pressure cuff. Lois pauses just before going out, looks back at Sam. LOIS Daddy? ELLEN Trust him, Sweetheart. Lois goes. Sam stares at Superman, fearful, frustrated. Ellen comes up next to him, also watching. Sam sadly puts an arm around her shoulder and we... DISSOLVE TO: 64 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MORNING - DAY #3 64 Jonathan is sprawled across the love seat, sleeping fitfully, as CAMERA MOVES to find Lois and Martha still in clothes, sacked out on Lois' bed. Lois keeps stirring, moaning restlessly. 65 INTERCUT CLARK'S APARTMENT - MORNING 65 CAMERA MOVES through living room, where Ellen dozes on the couch to the bedroom area where Superman lies motionless, Sam slumped in nearby chair, head in hands. CAMERA SLOWLY NEARS Lois. CAMERA SLOWLY NEARS Superman. Lois stirs unhappily. Superman's breathing is labored. LOIS (softly, in her sleep) Clark... A moment, then Superman's eyes flutter. SUPERMAN Lois... His eyes slowly open. He focuses as Sam slowly looks up in disbelief. Now Lois' eyes fly open and she sits bolt upright. LOIS Clark! --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 48. 66 LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MORNING 66 The PHONE RINGS. Jonathan groggily answers it. JONATHAN Hello? Sam! He what?! Yes! Yes! I'll tell 'em! He hangs up as Lois comes flying from bedroom area, Martha behind her. JONATHAN (CONT'D) Lois.... LOIS (welling up) I know! I know! He's awake! JONATHAN How did you... LOIS I'm going over there! She rushes back toward bedroom, grabbing shoes, coat. Martha dashes to kitchen area, pours coffee from cold pot. MARTHA We're right behind you! Lois, you're half asleep, take a cup of coffee! She slams it in the microwave, sets it, it TURNS ON. LOIS (struggling into shoes and coat) Thanks! He's gonna be alright! I know he's gonna be alright! MARTHA We know it too, Honey. Lois hugs Martha, they both dab their eyes, laughing at the release of tension. Lois starts for the door. MARTHA (CONT'D) Don't forget your coffee! The MICROWAVE BEEPS, signaling end of cook cycle. Martha crosses to it when suddenly there's a HIGH PITCHED WHINE. All three people grab their ears as it INTENSIFIES. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 49. 67 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM - DAY 67 SUPERMAN suddenly sits up. SUPERMAN Lois! SAM Now, now, take it easy... He rushes to restrain Superman, who tries to get out of bed. SUPERMAN Don't you hear it?! SAM (struggling) Hear what?! Ellen! 68 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - DAY 68 The WHINE is horrendous as Martha, Jonathan, and Lois, start crumpling to the floor. Bottles, a lamp, a vase EXPLODE. 69 CLARK'S 69 Ellen and Sam are both wrestling with Superman. SAM Son, you're delirious! Your body's had a severe trauma and you're.... Superman suddenly BLURS from their grasp and out the window. Sam and Ellen stare at their empty arms. SAM (CONT'D) ... terribly weak. 70 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - DAY 70 Martha, Jonathan, and Lois, lie in agony on the floor, more breakage now surrounding them, hands clutched to their heads, mouths open in silent screams. Suddenly Superman BLURS in through the window, snatches the microwave and blurs out. Instant silence. 71 EXT. SKY OVER THE CITY - DAY 71 Superman FLIES into view, the Microwave still SHRIEKING, and throws it like a football. --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 50. 72 THE SKY 72 The microwave, tiny in FRAME, shoots away into the sky, leaving a vapor trail, then vanishes into the atmosphere. 73 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - MORNING 73 Lois, Martha, and Jonathan are shakily standing as Superman lands in the window, enters. SUPERMAN Are you alright? LOIS Are _you_ alright?! They rush at each other, hug. LOIS (CONT'D) God, Clark, I thought I was gonna lose you! Then Superman hugs his parents. MARTHA Oh Clark! JONATHAN You had us worried, Son. SUPERMAN Your dad's theory was right, Lois. He saved my life. LOIS (nodding happily) And you saved ours. (beat) Clark, you see what happened? You almost died the same night as me. I think the same person's behind all of it. There is a sudden RATTLE from the closet. They all turn and stare. Superman yanks it open to reveal Baby Gunderson. MARTHA Baby Gunderson! The poor thing's been here the whole time. BABY GUNDERSON (coming out of closet) The man came to fix the microwave. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 51. 73 CONTINUED: 73 LOIS _What_ man? BABY GUNDERSON _Handy_man. She opens her mouth, we hear the sound of a fast TAPE REWIND, then we hear HANDYMAN'S voice: BABY GUNDERSON (CONT'D) 'It's me, the Handyman. We're all set to go. I'm headed back to the wharf.' LOIS The Handyman? Clark, I thought he was out of circulation. SUPERMAN Maybe not. This microwave thing is exactly his style. BABY GUNDERSON (mouth open; HANDYMAN'S VOICE) 'It's me, the Handyman. We're all set to go. I'm headed back to wharf.' SUPERMAN (heads to window) And I'm headed there, too. LOIS (crossing to phone) I'll call the cops and meet you! MARTHA (calling after Superman) Honey, don't exert yourself! CUT TO: 74 EXT. METROPOLIS POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY 71 A scruffy SNITCH hurries down the steps and up to a pay phone. He dials, then: SNITCH (into phone) H'lo? It's me. I thought you oughta know... There's a whole lotta cops headed your way. CUT TO: --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 52. 75 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - DAY 75 Johnny Bermuda stands looking at the Intergang map in the empty office. Now he glances impatiently at his watch. JOHNNY C'mon, c'mon... Where the hell _is_ she? He flops down in the desk chair, puts his feet on the desk. The elevator doors fly open to reveal two COPS, Lois, and Clark, trailed by the Henchman, who's playing "terrified." COP # 1 There is a bunker down here! LOIS Just like Superman said. CLARK Well. Johnny Bermuda. 'The Handyman.' HENCHMAN They made me, Johnny! They said they'd put me away if I didn't show 'em your office! JIMMY _My_ office? This isn't my office! Guns drawn, the cops are already looking all over the place. COP # 1 Not what it looks like to me. 76 INTERCUT BOOK CASE 76 Framed photos of Johnny with others (from his lab) decorate the shelves. JOHNNY Hold it, how'd those get here?! Lois is looking through papers on desk. LOIS A lot of memos here on your personal stationery. JOHNNY _What_?! Clark's at a table looking at large sheets of paper. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 53. 76 CONTINUED: 76 CLARK Blueprints here for modifying a microwave oven... LOIS Notes for making a deadly form of virus. JOHNNY Wait a minute... The PHONE RINGS, Answering Machine answers: ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE This is the office of Johnny Bermuda. Leave a message when you hear the beep... The Second Cop heads for the phone, but: LOIS Wait, let's hear who it is. MINDY (V. 0.) Johnny, it's me, Mindy. I've thought about your offer, but I won't help you. Intergang is wrong, Johnny. I don't care how much money is involved. Besides, you know what you tried to do to Lois Lane. Who knows what you'd do to me? Johnny lunges for the phone, but we hear the line go dead. COP # 1 Get him outta here. JOHNNY (losing it) You got it wrong!! It's her office! It's all her!! She runs Intergang!! I've been set up!! The cops cuff him, drag him to the elevator, we... CUT TO: 77 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - DAY 77 Mindy cheerfully hangs up the car phone, resumes filing her nails. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 54. 77 CONTINUED: 77 MINDY I don't really like rejection, Johnny. She puts the car in gear, drives off, we... CUT TO: 78 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - ON CHRISTMAS TREES - NIGHT #3 78 The two Christmas trees are nearly decorated, the lights unlit, as we PULL BACK to find Sam, Martha, and Jonathan at work. Ellen's up on a stepladder, placing the star. Baby Gunderson has fingers splayed, tinsel hanging from them. Lois and Clark enter with trays of food and drinks. SAM Well, it's the finest Christmas _I've_ had in a long time. (to Lois) Thank you, Honey. LOIS Thank _you_, Daddy. For making it that way for me, too. ELLEN Clark, who does Superman spend the holidays with? CLARK (smiles) Friends. Loved ones. He's a pretty lucky guy. MARTHA (eying tree) I believe we're finished! Light 'em, up! Jonathan takes the two long extension cords from the trees, plugs them in. A shower of SPARKS from the.outlets, and all the lights in the apartment go out. Laughter, confusion, Clark and Lois turn on flashlights. CLARK Just a second Take it easy LOIS I guess it's a one tree apartment. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 55. 78 CONTINUED: 78 SAM (grabs cords) No one panic. Baby Gunderson... If you wouldn't mind... He takes both extension cords, plugs them into Baby's ears. The trees light up. Aaaaaah's all around, applause. JONATHAN Well. Merry Christmas, everyone. Martha and Jonathan hug, Sam and Ellen hold hands. They're all chatting softly as: 79 LOIS AND CLARK 79 They've gone over by the big window, lit by moonlight and the glow from the twin trees. It's begun snowing. CLARK (puts arms around her) Maybe next year at this time we'll have the holidays at our house. LOIS I guess there's a lot to be said for family. People who stick by you no matter what. CLARK Like you stuck by me. Lois, I've never faced anything like that. Maybe it was the Kryptonite that saved me, but I think it was you. They kiss. CLARK (CONT'D) You... still wanna elope? LOIS (glances at family) You know... Without 'em, it might be kind of dull. They are kissing again as we PULL BACK to include the whole family, the trees, Baby Gunderson with plugs in her ears, and the falling snow. BLACK. _THE END_