notes: To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) (I had to tell the program I was using legal paper) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) Notes: Cover: "Chip Off The Old Clark", Written by Michael Jamin & Sievert Glarum [and] Directed by Michael Watkins are all in large bolt print. The remainder of the text is in Courier 10 (10 characters per inch) Typos noted: "alright" misspelled in several places --page break-- (graphic - insert logo.bmp or logo.jpg) "Chip Off The Old Clark" EPISODE EIGHT Prod. #457408 Written by Michael Jamin & Sievert Glarum Directed by Michael Watkins _Production Draft_ September 19, 1995 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Chip Off The Old Clark_" _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE/ JIMMY OLSEN PERRY WHITE MARTHA KENT JONATHAN KENT ______________________________________________________________________ LEIGH-ANNE ANONYMOUS JESSE DR. KLEIN GERALDO RIVERA PRESIDENT REBEL LEADER HACKER ANCHOR PERSON TOP COPY ANNOUNCER REPORTERS --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Chip Off The Old Clark_" _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Leigh-Anne's House Newsroom Elevator Tanzorian Consulate Leigh-Anne's Living Room S.T.A.R. Labs Anonymous, Hideout Park Hallway City Street S.T.A.R. Labs Factory with Red Chimney Chemical Plant Fence Outdoor Cafe --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Chip Off The Old Clark_" _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 3 NIGHT 1 SC. 4 - 25 DAY 2 SC. 26 - 33 NIGHT 2 SC. 34 - 44 DAY 3 SC. 45 - 47 NIGHT 3 SC. 48 - 82 DAY 4 SC. 83 DAY 5 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "Chip Off The Old Clark" _TEASE_ FADE IN: 1 INT. CLARK'S KITCHEN - ON RING - NIGHT #1 1 The engagement ring sparkles in the light as we PULL BACK to find LOIS looking at it with a smile. CLARK is at the stove, cooking dinner. Both are still basking in the afterglow of having just gotten engaged. LOIS (looking at ring) Funny about this thing... I look down at it during the day... I'm always surprised to see it there... And I think about what it means... And about you... CLARK ... And how long it took you to finally put it on... LOIS That, too... We've been through a lot. CLARK 'A lot?' Lois, salmon swimming upstream don't have the mating trouble we've had. LOIS (settling in to watch him with a smile) Yeah, but now we're just this old, almost-married couple... And we'll be like this forever. You cooking, me watching. CLARK You're never cooking? LOIS It's not really something I do. CLARK I thought it was just lack of time. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 LOIS Lack of talent. CLARK (grins) I guess there's all kinds of things I still have to find out about you. LOIS And me about you. There's no really _big_ surprises, right? CLARK Did I mention the flying? She puts an arm around his neck. LOIS I only marry men who fly. And they're kissing. As it heats up, the phone RINGS. Still kissing Lois, Clark reaches behind him, grabs it. CLARK (into phone; preoccupied) Hello? Hi, Jimmy. Yeah, a little busy... What? Yeah... okay... (hangs up, kisses her) Jimmy says we have to turn on channel six... LOIS Wait, I was just gonna find out all this juicy stuff about you... Clark smiles back at her as he flips on TV. 2 THE TV 2 A run-down suburban home is on the screen as we hear a sleazy Australian voice: TOP COPY ANNCR. (V.O.) ... Tonight, 'Top Copy' takes you live to the home of Miss Leigh-Anne Stipanovic... Picture DISSOLVES to trailer trash pretty LEIGH-ANNE, late 20's, slight rural southern accent. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 3. 2 CONTINUED: 2 LEIGH-ANNE (fighting tears) Yes, it's true... I can remain silent no more. (beat) I... had Superman's love child. 3 ON LOIS AND CLARK 3 They simply stare, stunned. BLACK. _END OF TEASE_ --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 4. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 4 INT. DAILY PLANET - ON TV MONITOR - DAY #2 4 A tape of the "Top Copy" broadcast plays. On TV is Leigh-Anne. Sitting next to her on the ratty couch is her son, JESSE, about 3 1/2. PULL BACK to find Daily Planet Staffers, including JIMMY, watching in rapt attention. LEIGH-ANNE (ON TV) ....'Course, he's got my nose and my ears. But the eyes and the cheekbones, they're his daddy's alright. TOP COPY ANNCR. (O.S.) And Leigh-Anne, Superman never visits the child? LEIGH-ANNE (tearing up) Only in our dreams. I'm constantly showing Jesse pictures of his daddy, so he won't forget. But it breaks my heart, you know. A boy needs a father. A Staffer holds out the remote, FAST FORWARDS the tape. LEIGH-ANNE ... These years have been so hard... Sure, I've always hoped Superman might give us a little loan or something to get on our feet... But mostly I just want him to... (a sob) See his boy. She breaks down weeping as PERRY enters from his office. PERRY (irritated) Turn that trash off. They turn OFF TV, scramble to desks, as Jimmy goes to Perry. JIMMY So Chief, you don't think there's a story here? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 5. 4 CONTINUED: 4 PERRY The story, Jimmy, is the crazy times we live in when anyone can get media coverage with a cook and bull story like that. We, by the way, won't be wasting ink on it. Clark, in a mood, has entered during this, gone to desk. JIMMY What do you think, C.K.? I mean if _I_ was Superman and had, you know, his looks... his muscles... tight pants... women fallin' all over _me_... I sure might be tempted to... He suddenly notices Clark has just been staring at him during the whole speech. JIMMY (CONT'D) (off Clark's look) ... Or not. Probably not. Wouldn't be a thing I'd think about. PERRY Could we get back to the _real_ news, here? Clark, the President of Tanzor is in town for the signing of a peace treaty with Fostonia. CLARK Yeah, they've been enemies for a century. There are die-hards in both countries who don't want the treaty. PERRY You and Lois get on it. (then) How _is_ this engagement thing, anyway? You two must be happier'n pigs in slop. Lois approaches her desk, not looking that happy. LOIS Good morning. She and Clark exchange a look. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 6. 4 CONTINUED: 2 4 PERRY I was just sayin' how happy you two must be... LOIS (distracted) What? Sorry, Chief... I ... didn't sleep much last night. CLARK Me, either. Jimmy and Perry share a knowing look. CLARK (CONT'D) (to Lois) Perry wants us to cover the President of Tanzor's arrival. LOIS (without enthusiasm) Fine. Lois and Clark smile weakly at Perry, start away, as: JIMMY Hey Lois, what'd you think of that babe who says she had Superman's... CLARK Jimmy... LOIS (too cordial) Oh? 'Babe?' Is she a 'babe?' Clark, do you think she's a 'babe?' CLARK Uh, I... didn't really notice. He takes Lois' arm, heads for elevators. JIMMY 'Not notice?!' How could you possibly not no... Clark glances back with a "cool it" look, and they're gone. JIMMY (CONT'D) Is he okay? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 7. 4 CONTINUED: 3 4 PERRY Aw, people in love always act screwy, Jimmy. Alice and me may be on the rocks just now... (wistfully) ... But I remember a time when _we_ didn't get much sleep, either. 5 AT THE ELEVATORS - LOIS AND CLARK 5 CLARK You alright? Lois, we talked about this last night.... LOIS (small voice) I know. CLARK So we'll just go to the President's arrival and try to forget all about... LOIS Look, the story's as good as written. The guy arrives, waves, says peace is good, surprise surprise. Not a good use of our time. Doors open, they step inside. 6 INT. ELEVATOR - LOIS AND CLARK - DAY 6 The doors slide shut, he eyes her suspiciously. CLARK Oh? And what might be a _better_ use of our time? LOIS (innocently) We could... you know... check out this Leigh-Anne person... CLARK No. Perry's right. Covering it just gives her credibility! This'll be over tomorrow... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 8. 6 CONTINUED: 6 LOIS Well, I think that's naive. Our job is to _expose_ this hoax! _Prove_ to the world that... (getting emotional) ... My fiance... The man I love... Never.... _would_ never... Do what this woman says he did. CLARK Of course he didn't! Uh, I didn't... Trust me, this thing's gonna die! LOIS (evenly) And I'll be the one to kill it. DING. The doors slide open, we... CUT TO: 7 EXT. LEIGH-ANNE'S HOUSE - DAY 7 The modest house has a crowd of reporters and TV cameras before it. Lois and Clark make their way to the door as GERALDO RIVERA emerges, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief. LOIS _Geraldo_? GERALDO (deeply moved) Hi, Lois. Boy, I've covered some tragic stories before... But _this_... He just waves a hand, unable to go on, then leaves as Lois and Clark stare. The door re-opens, Leigh-Anne stands there, dramatically clutching a scarf, dressed for sympathy. LEIGH-ANNE I forget. Which of you kind people did I say was next? The reporters shout, wave arms, jockey for position. LOIS Hello, I'm Lois Lane... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 9. 7 CONTINUED: 7 LEIGH-ANNE Lois Lane... From the _Daily_ _Planet_? Come in! (dabbing at eyes) I feel a woman should tell my Story. She goes inside, Clark leans close to Lois. CLARK (quietly) Just repeat to yourself. Hoax, hoax, hoax. LOIS (quietly) Hoax, hoax, hoax. 8 INT. LEIGH-ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - ON DOORWAY - DAY 8 Lois enters, followed by Clark. LOIS Hoax, hoax, hoax... She freezes, Clark bumps into her, they both stare, stunned: 9 NEW ANGLE 9 JESSE crosses the room, the sofa balanced in one hand. LEIGH-ANNE (reprovingly) Jesse. Honey. We have guests. LOIS (feeble smile) Excuse us. 10 OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR 10 Lois and Clark whip outside, pasted to wall, minds blown, LOIS (hissing) Well?! Well?! CLARK (hissing back) _I_ don't know! It's impossible! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 10. 10 CONTINUED: 10 LOIS 'Impossible?!' 'Impossible?!' CLARK Why do you keep saying everything twice?! 11 INSIDE FRONT DOOR 11 Lois and Clark peer back around the doorframe. Leigh-Anne gestures to the sofa, which Jesse pats and leaves. The room is a shambles from a long period of abuse: Cracked plaster, boy-shaped holes in the walls, splintered furniture. Lois, a bit awkward with children, approaches Jesse. LOIS (so friendly) Hi, Jesse. I'm Lois. I'm here to be your mommy's friend so she'll tell me the _real_, _true_ story of your life. JESSE I don't like you. LOIS (frozen smile) I see. JESSE I like him! He goes to Clark, grabbing his leg. There's a soft metallic CLANK as their bodies hit. Clark stares at Jesse, smiles weakly at Lois. LEIGH-ANNE Wow, he's usually shy with strangers. Shall we get started? She touches Lois' arm, they sit on the sofa, Lois glancing uncomfortably back at Clark and Jesse, then turning to Leigh-Anne. 12 CLARK AND JESSE 12 Clark moves across one end of the room, trailed by Jesse, surveys the damage, runs a hand around a boy-shaped hole. CLARK So. Jesse. You're a pretty strong boy. How'd you get so strong? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 11. 12 CONTINUED: 12 Jesse shrugs shoulders. Clark picks up a little football. CLARK (CONT'D) Ever play catch? Jesse BLURS down to the dining area, holds out hands, Clark starts toward him. CLARK (CONT'D) (weakly) Gee. And you're really, really... fast. A battered TV is on in the corner, from it: ANCHORPERSON (V.O.) ... We now bring you live coverage of the Metropolis Peace Conference. 13 ON CLARK 13 We are SHOOTING over TV onto Clark, who looks at screen. ANCHORPERSON (V.O.) ... We're at the Tanzorian Consulate Building where President Florio has just arrived. Tomorrow he signs the peace treaty with Fostonia, with whom his country has a long history of hostile relations. During this, Jesse has floated up into FRAME, also watching. Clark looks over at him. 14 LOIS AND LEIGH-ANNE 14 Lois stares over at the hovering Jesse, dazed. 15 THE TELEVISION 15 A limousine pulls up to the Tanzorian Consulate. Spectators and reporters press against rope barricades. ANCHORPERSON (V.O.) ... Today's ceremonies include a welcome from federal and local government officials that... --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 12. 16 EXT. TANZORIAN CONSULATE - DAY 16 It's the scene we saw on TV. A squad of several suited Secret Service types, in reflective sunglasses and earpieces, trots to the limo and one opens the door. 17 ANONYMOUS 17 This is the feared international terrorist, ANONYMOUS, master of disguise, now done up as a Secret Service guy. While the other men scan the crowd, he lets a small silver transmitter with tiny antenna slip down one side of his leg until it rests on the curb. He steps back into the squad as the PRESIDENT, in formal military-like garb, emerges from the car. He waves to the crowd then starts moving slowly toward the building, surrounded by Secret Service guys. 18 ON TRANSMITTER 18 A light blinks ON. We hear a high-pitched HUM. 19 INT. LEIGH-ANNE'S - CLARK AND JESSE 19 The HUM grows LOUDER. Clark and Jesse reach for their ears. JESSE Bad noise! CAMERA ADJUSTS to include Lois and Leigh-Anne, who peer over the back of the sofa at them. LEIGH-ANNE What noise? I don't hear anything. CLARK Uh, Lois... I'll be right back. 20 EXT. TANZORIAN CONSULATE 20 Now as the HUM grows more shrill, the Secret Service types all begin reaching for their earpieces. All but Anonymous. Suddenly the noise becomes a SHRIEK and all the guards grab their ears and crumple to the ground. Anonymous thrusts a hand into a pocket, is clearly holding a gun, moves swiftly to the bewildered President. ANONYMOUS Right this way, Mr. President. He starts hustling the man toward the side of the building, when suddenly SUPERMAN BLURS into view. --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 13. 21 WITH SUPERMAN 21 He streaks right to the curb where the transmitter rests, and crushes it. The Secret Service types recover, stand, as Superman goes to the President, who is now standing alone. SUPERMAN Are you alright, Mr. President? PRESIDENT Yes, yes... One of my men acted very quickly, and... (looks around) ... Where did he go? CUT TO: 22 INT. - LEIGH-ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - LOIS AND LEIGH-ANNE - DAY 22 LEIGH-ANNE Oh, he spoiled me somethin' awful. Cheese from France, chocolate from Switzerland... 'Course he can get to all those places in two shakes. LOIS (uncomfortably) I'm familiar with that, yes. LEIGH-ANNE But I would just keep sayin' to him, 'Super,' I'd say... I called him Super... 'Super, the gifts are nice, but I want you to love me like an ordinary man.' LOIS Uh-huh. LEIGH-ANNE And you know what he would do? He'd... cook for me. LOIS He would... cook for you? Lois dizzily reaches for a glass of water, sips. LEIGH-ANNE (painfully) Please, I beg you, don't ask about our... intimate... relations. Suffice it to say, they don't call him 'Super' man for nothin'. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 14. 22 CONTINUED: 22 Lois does a spit take, stares at Leigh-Anne. LEIGH-ANNE (CONT'D) You alright, sugar? LOIS Yes, yes, I'm fine... LEIGH-ANNE I can understand if he's no longer in love with me. The flame that burns so bright, only burns so long. (getting weepy) But I have my little boy to think about! LOIS You know, in all fairness to Superman, you haven't really offered any hard proof that... well... he even knows you. LEIGH-ANNE No? How 'bout this? Leigh-Anne pulls a photo from a shoe box. 23 INTERCUT PHOTO - INSERT 23 Leigh-Anne and Superman outside a cheap motel. She has her arms around him in a quasi-romantic pose. LEIGH-ANNE Now don't go printing that. 'National Inquisitor' and 'Tattle Tale Weekly' are fighting for the rights. CUT TO: 24 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDEOUT - DAY 24 A dank, windowless laboratory with dusty, long abandoned chemical equipment and testing machinery. The thick, airtight doors were once protection against the experiments performed here. We move through the beakers and coils of tubing, coming to a desktop where remnants of the Secret Service disguise rest: Sunglasses, earpiece, false nose, coat. During all this: (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 15. 24 CONTINUED: 24 REBEL LEADER (O.S.) ... It's unthinkable you failed today. We're not paying you for failure! Now the old fool's canceled most of his public appearances... We now reveal the REBEL LEADER, a fiery zealot in his 30's, speaking to a chair whose high back conceals its occupant. ANONYMOUS (O.S.) But not all. He has a soft spot for kids, which means he _is_ a fool, and he's attending charity events for the little creatures. REBEL LEADER Fostonia is the historic enemy of my country. There must be no peace treaty. ANONYMOUS A nuclear missile's going to be launched from your country which'll destroy the capital of Fostonia. Who's going to sign a peace treaty? REBEL LEADER But you need the launch codes. And only the president has them. Anonymous swivels toward us, thinking His features are concealed by dark hat, dark glasses, and dark scarf pulled over the lower portion of his face. ANONYMOUS (picks up tabloid) I'll _get_ the damn launch codes. (stares at paper) But I'm going to need a little help. 25 FRONT PAGE OF TABLOID - INSERT 25 There's a huge picture of Jesse floating near a beaming Leigh-Anne. The headline reads "Flybaby Needs SuperDad." BLACK. _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 16. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 26 INT. DAILY PLANET - ELEVATORS - NIGHT #2 26 Perry exits elevator, heads for the ramp as Jimmy joins him, holding artwork covered with tissue. PERRY I met Alice for dinner. She said she was up all night re-thinking our situation... JIMMY (hopefully) and ... ? PERRY ... And she decided I could keep the spoon collection. I said I had to get back to the paper. She said she had to get back to 'her life.' Whatever that means. JIMMY Chief, I'm sorry. PERRY Well, if she thinks I'm gonna mope, she's dead wrong! Maybe I'll just get back to _my_ life, too! (beat) Whatever that means. They've stopped in front of the TV monitors. An Anchorperson speaks to someone O.S. ANCHORPERSON (ON TV). ... And you felt you just couldn't keep your heartbreak to yourself. A new SHOT reveals Leigh-Anne, looking bleak. LEIGH-ANNE (ON TV) Yes. My personal code of morality would let me cover for Superman no longer. You may quote me. ANCHORPERSON (ON TV) This is television. Perry disgustedly moves on. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 17. 26 CONTINUED: 26 PERRY The whole darn country's running with this thing. We can't just keep our heads in the sand... JIMMY Yeah... DelDuca in editorial wants to get your okay on this. 27 CARTOON - INSERT 27 Jimmy pulls the tissue to reveal Superman flying over a baby carriage, covering his eyes with one hand. The caption reads "Super Deadbeat." 28 BACK TO SCENE 28 Perry shakes his head wearily. PERRY At least have him add a question mark. Makes me feel a little less like a vulture. (to Lois) Lois! Got that Superman story? 29 NEW ANGLE 29 reveals Lois listlessly typing with one finger. LOIS I guess. PERRY I know, Honey. It's always demoralizing when one of our heroes falls. LOIS You don't know the half of it. (beat) You're aware there's always the chance Superman didn't do this... PERRY Lois, you and I have been newsmen long enough to know if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, and tastes good with plum sauce... It's a duck! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 18. 29 CONTINUED: 29 Clark has come up. CLARK _What's_ a duck? PERRY I was just tellin' Lois she couldn't let her friendship with Superman cloud her professional objectivity. CLARK Why? Did she judge him and find him innocent? LOIS Not exactly. The jury's deadlocked. PERRY Well, kids, I guess we can't put people on pedestals. Even Superman's entitled to a checkered past. He goes off. Lois primly goes back to typing. CLARK Lois... LOIS What did you dig up on the kidnap attempt? CLARK The Tanzorians think it's the work of a radical group inside their own country. I don't _have_ a checkered past... ! LOIS Parry's right; people shouldn't expect more from Superman than any other guy. Pretty sophisticated work for a radical group..'. CLARK Word is, they may have hired that terrorist, 'Anonymous.' Look, I thought this whole thing was behind us. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 19. 29 CONTINUED: 2 29 LOIS Yeah, well, a shadow's behind you, but you can't shake it. I thought Anonymous was kicked outta the country. CLARK He may have kicked himself back in. Easy to do. No one's ever seen his face... Lois, I can take anyone else thinking what they wanna think, but you can't tell me _you_ think... She jumps up to pull pages from printer. LOIS I don't know! CLARK What you do _know_ is I love you! LOIS But what about _before_?! Neither of us was born the day we fell in love, so I guess I really don't have the right to be upset about anything that happened before then... But this upsets me! It really upsets me! And everywhere I go, it's all I hear and... It _upsets_ me! CLARK Yeah, you mentioned. The thing is, I wouldn't lie to you. LOIS See, the thing is, you did. Every day. For almost three years. (grabs photo) Then, of course, there's this. 30 INTERCUT PHOTO - INSERT 30 Leigh-Anne with arms around Superman at the motel. LOIS The guys in the photo lab assure me it's authentic. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 20. 30 CONTINUED: 30 CLARK Do you have any idea how many thousands of people I've posed with? LOIS You have any idea how many toddlers there are who can balance sofas on their pinkie fingers? (picks up purse) Look, I'm tired and pretty emotional. I'm gonna go home and pace. CLARK Well.. Okay... Then we can... LOIS Alone. (off his look) I'm sorry. I've just got to clear my head. She exits. Clark sadly watches her go, then looks back down at the photo, tips his glasses. 31 INTERCUT HIS TELESCOPIC POV 31 In the corner, we see a maid's cart holding a stack of towels. Clark ZOOMS IN closer and closer until we can read, on the towels, "Ding Dong Motel." CLARK (calling out) Jimmy...! CUT TO: 32 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - ON DOOR - NIGHT 32 The door opens and Clark enters, stops, surprised: CLARK Boy, I must be in trouble. The cavalry's here. 33 WIDER TO INCLUDE JONATHAN AND MARTHA 33 MARTHA (going to him) Hi, Sweetie. Are you okay? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 21. 33 CONTINUED: 33 JONATHAN We never watch those tabloid shows, but the Smallville Press turned its whole front page over to Superman's love child. CLARK I don't have a love child! MARTHA (quickly) Of course you don't, honey. JONATHAN It's an impossibility! MARTHA Laughable, really! CLARK (taken aback) Well, you know, c'mon, I wouldn't say '_laughable_...' mean, I have _dated_.... JONATHAN We just mean we raised you to be responsible. If something like this did occur, you'd live up to your obligations. MARTHA So if you say this woman's not the mother of your child, then she's not. Laughable! JONATHAN How's Lois? CLARK Not laughing. MARTHA Oh, I'm sure she's bewildered by all this! You'd have to expect that. CLARK Well, you know Lois. She wants an explanation for everything. And my only explanation is 'I don't know.' Mom, when did I lift my first couch? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 22. 33 CONTINUED: 2 33 MARTHA Gosh honey, I think you were in junior high before you did any serious lifting. And it was rarely furniture. You leaned more toward kitchen appliances. The freezer, I think. CLARK Maybe this kid's not from Earth! Are you sure I'm the only one from Krypton? Help me out here! JONATHAN Clark, don't make yourself crazy. There's no truth to this. CLARK So you're saying I should just sit back and do nothing?! MARTHA Not at all, sweetheart. We're here to stand by you and fight this little hussy with everything we've got. CLARK (taken aback) Mom. Wow. JONATHAN Science is on your side, Clark. The answer's as simple as D.N.A. CUT TO: 34 INT. LEIGH-ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - ON SUBPOENA - DAY #3 34 The paper reads "You are hereby required to appear... CAMERA PULLS BACK to find Leigh-Anne crumpling it up and throwing it across the room. It lands near Anonymous, now disguised as slick lawyer "Donald Rafferty," with tinted glasses and lots of gold jewelry. He bounces Jesse on his knee, a distasteful chore since he loathes children. LEIGH-ANNE D.N.A. test! They're ordering Jesse to have a D.N.A. test! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 23. 34 CONTINUED: 34 ANONYMOUS Which is why you need me and my law firm, Ms. Stipanovic. (t.o Jesse) Son, if you could possibly loosen your little grip on Uncle Donald's leg... Son... _Son_. (to Leigh-Anne; forced jolliness) Spunky, isn't he? Ow! Ho, ho, ho. Hi-yo. LEIGH-ANNE Well, maybe I _should_ hire you, Mr. Rafferty. Up 'til now my cousin Bobby Bob's been handlin' my legal affairs. But he's still in correspondence law school and they haven't mailed him the chapter on blood stuff, yet. (notices) Jesse does seem to have taken a shine to you. ANONYMOUS Yes. Ow! Ho, ho, ho. LEIGH-ANNE The test is for later today. Isn't there some writ or judge-type thing that can delay it? ANONYMOUS You have nothin' to fear. Son, the grip; I've lost all feeling. Ms. Stipanovic, the test will either show Superman to be the father or not. LEIGH-ANNE (trying to follow) And how's that last one a good thing? ANONYMOUS Because I'll get opposing experts to argue the D.N.A. tests are inconclusive, contaminated, or the result of tampering. LEIGH-ANNE Is that legal? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 24. 34 CONTINUED: 2 34 ANONYMOUS My dear, it's the backbone of the entire system! But we don't have to worry, because the little tyke is the son of Superman, isn't he? LEIGH-ANNE Of course. It's just my family doesn't do well on tests. CUT TO: 35 EXT. S.T.A.R. LABS - HAND HELD - DAY 35 Another mob scene. Vendors hawk "Super Stud" t-shirts, Superman diapers, rattles, etc. Angry women wave signs reading "SUPER DEADBEAT." Reporters and video crews fight for curb space. Among then is a lackluster Lois. Suddenly Superman BLURS into their midst and the mob goes wild. REPORTERS Superman! If the boy is yours, will you seek custody?! Are there other 'Super Kids' around the country?! Is it true you have a wife in Red Bluff, Montana?! What do you say to teens who wanna be just like Superman?! Superman raises hands to calm them. SUPERMAN You people all know me and what I stand for. (sees Lois) And what I won't stand for. I've always tried to protect the weak and the helpless. And that's why I'm here today. To protect this little boy from any more of _this_. Lois wishes she were invisible. Suddenly the reporters desert Superman and Lois for: 36 A LIMOUSINE 36 It pulls up to the curb. Leigh-Anne, Anonymous, and Jesse emerge. Jesse's in a mini-super suit. CAMERAS FLASH, the press closes in, Jesse looks scared. LEIGH-ANNE (eating it up) Hello! Hello, everyone! Wave to the nice people, Jesse. --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 25. 37 LOIS AND SUPERMAN 37 LOIS Perry told me to cover this. I hate it as much as you do. SUPERMAN The irony is, there's really only been one woman in my life. (glances down at her hand) She's wearing a ring. LEIGH-ANNE (O.S.) Honnn--ney! 38 NEW ANGLE 38 as Leigh-Anne rushes to Superman, throwing her-arms around his neck, giving him a passionate kiss. CAMERAS FLASH. LEIGH-ANNE I cannot stop myself! As much as you've shunned me, I still have love in my heart for you. (calls to Jesse) Look, Angel... It's Daddy! SUPERMAN (trying to extricate himself) Ms. Stipanovic... LEIGH-ANNE Oh darlin', don't be so formal. You certainly weren't in your love letters! (to reporters) Which I'll be readin' from tonight on 'Nightline.' Lois stares in disbelief. There's an O.S. COMMOTION. 39 THEIR POV 39 Yelling and sound of SUPER BREATH in a knot of reporters, several of which are popping from the group, tossed around like dolls by gusts of AIR. Superman rushes over, separates the people to find Jesse, angry, blowing people around. JESSE I don't like them. CUT TO: --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 26. 40 INT. S.T.A.R. LABS - DAY 40 Jesse and Superman sit side-by-side on an examining table in the empty room. SUPERMAN Are you okay? It's tough sometimes, isn't it, being different? Sometimes it's scary. And sometimes you get mad, and it'd be easy to hurt people because you're so strong. But the cool thing is, we can do good for people. And most people _are_ good, Jesse, even those crazy ones outside. So... any questions? JESSE (innocently) Are you my daddy? Superman is stunned by the directness of the question. The awkward moment is broken by DR. KLEIN, who enters. DR. KLEIN Hello, Superman, Jesse. We obviously won't be drawing blood from you. I take it Jesse's skin is also impervious to puncture? SUPERMAN Yeah, I'm afraid so. Though why that is, I don't know. DR. KLEIN (patient smile) Yes. SUPERMAN I _don't_ know. (plucks hair from head) Here. You can trace D.N.A. from hair follicles, right? DR. KLEIN That's right. SUPERMAN I talked to Jesse, Dr. Klein, he'll be glad to do the same. DR. KLEIN Excellent. We'll do our best to rush the tests along, Superman. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 27. 40 CONTINUED: 40 DR. KLEIN (CONT'D) The results will be quite definitive... Incontrovertible, really. SUPERMAN Great, Doc. And you'll have those results when? DR. KLEIN Well, based on what I suspect about the complexity of your cell structure.... Four to five months. A year, tops... SUPERMAN What?! DR. KLEIN I'll have a better time estimate once I start the work. Give me a call tonight. SUPERMAN I will! DR. KLEIN But not late... I don't want to miss 'Nightline.' CUT TO: 41 INT. DAILY PLANET - CLARK'S DESK - DAY 41 The phone RINGS. CAMERA MOVES IN on his answering machine as it CLICKS ON. CLARK'S VOICE This is Clark Kent. I'm not here. but leave a message and I'll get back to you. BEEP. LEIGH-ANNE (V.O.) (on machine) Mr. Kent? This is Leigh-Anne Stipanovic. I know you're a friend of Superman's... --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 28. 42 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDE-OUT - DAY 42 Anonymous in scarf, dark glasses, and hat, is on the phone. From his lips issues a perfect imitation of Leigh-Anne. ANONYMOUS (as Leigh-Anne; into phone) ... Please tell him it's urgent I meet him at Shepherd's Glen... in the park.... at 3:00. Thanks so much... Anonymous smiles, hangs up with his finger, releases, dials a new number. Leigh-Anne answers. LEIGH-ANNE (on phone) Hello? Anonymous speaks in a perfect imitation of Superman. ANONYMOUS Miss Stipanovic? This is Superman. I feel badly about today and would really like to clear some things up. Could you meet me at Shepherd's Glen at 3:00? I appreciate it. CUT TO:. 43 EXT. PARK - DAY 43 Superman paces impatiently. Leigh-Anne arrives. SUPERMAN I'm glad we're finally going to talk about this. LEIGH-ANNE Uh, yes... You first. SUPERMAN Miss Stipanovic, what is it, exactly, that you want? LEIGH-ANNE What every mother wants. A future for her son. SUPERMAN And that's commendable. But he's your son, not mine. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 29. 43 CONTINUED: 43 LEIGH-ANNE Do you have any idea what raising Jesse's been like? Before I got pregnant, I had prospects. You probably don't know I was runner up in the Junior Stenographer Pageant. SUPERMAN I didn't know that. LEIGH-ANNE I had my sights set on being a Star Search Spokesmodel. But now, that's just a dream. SUPERMAN But many people do work and raise a child. LEIGH-ANNE Jesse's not just any child. And since he got.... the way he is... I can't keep him in clothes, 'cause he grows so fast... Can't keep a roof over our heads, 'cause he wrecks every place... Can't keep a job 'cause no day care center'll have him... SUPERMAN I'd help if I could, but how? I don't have money, or credit cards, or a shoebox full of cash. Does this look like a rich man's wardrobe? LEIGH-ANNE I don't want your money. At first I did, but this has gotten so big! I have a book offer... A Movie of the Week Deal... A kid's clothing company wants to do a 'Jesse' line.... Superman, I can give him the kind of life I never coulda dreamed of. And, of course, I won't be doin' so bad, myself. SUPERMAN But it's based on a lie! And that's gonna do nothing but hurt Jesse. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 30. 43 CONTINUED: 2 43 LEIGH-ANNE Maybe, maybe not. But I see the way people are makin' money out there. Who am I? The last Girl Scout? I don't think so. SUPERMAN Then I'll keep fighting any way I can. I'm sorry you feel this way. I thought you called me to say you'd changed your mind. LEIGH-ANNE Me call you? You called me. SUPERMAN No, I didn't. You left a message for me with Clark Kent. LEIGH-ANNE No, I didn't. (beat) What's goin' on? SUPERMAN Where's Jesse?! CUT TO: 44 INT. LEIGH-ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY 44 A WHOOSH and sound of LANDING outside, the door bursts open, Superman rushes in with Leigh-Anne. The place is empty. LEIGH-ANNE Jesse?! Jesse?!! SUPERMAN He was with this attorney... 'Rafferty' when you left? LEIGH-ANNE Yes! Mr. Rafferty said he'd babysit! And they're gone!! (crying out) Jesse!! BLACK. _END OF ACT TWO_ --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 31. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 45 INT. LEIGH-ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT #3 45 The place is swarming with cops, dusting for fingerprints, etc. A Detective takes Leigh-Anne's statement. LEIGH-ANNE (sobbing) I was only gone a few minutes... My God, if anything happens to Jesse... Clark enters, adjusting tie. CLARK Any clues? Detective closes note pad, shakes his head. Clark steps away, lowers his glasses. 46 INTERCUT HIS TELESCOPIC POV 46 A few tiny fragments of putty-like substance lie in the crevice between carpet and wall. Clark picks them up, sniffs, reacts to the distinctive odor, pockets one, takes the other to the Detective. CLARK You night want to check this out. I'm not sure what it is. The Detective looks at it, step away, putting it in an evidence bag as Lois enters, going to Clark. LOIS Some guys in a news van saw the lawyer, Rafferty, drive out of here about two hours ago. No one thought anything of it. LEIGH-ANNE (overhears, comes over) Why would he do this?! LOIS (gently) Extortion, probably. (then) Leigh-Anne... I know you love your little boy. We're going to get him back. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 32. 46 CONTINUED: 46 LEIGH-ANNE (breaking down again) This is all my fault. All my fault. She lurches away. Clark watches sympathetically, then glances over at the dining area where one of Jesse's little capes hangs on a chair. Clark goes over, picks it up, looks at it sadly. 47 ON LOIS 47 She watches Clark, moved by his feelings for this child, joins Clark at the table. CLARK (still looking at cape) Strange... I mean, he's not my son... But I do feel close to him. In a way I can't explain. LOIS Maybe because you've lived what's he's living. Maybe because you're the most caring person I ever met. (beat) And the most honest. He turns to look at her. LOIS (CONT'D) I amaze myself sometimes. I'm so used to tracking down the truth... Always so sure things aren't what they appear to be... I forget that sometimes truth is just staring me in the face. CLARK And the truth is ... ? LOIS The truth is what you tell me. And what I tell you. Because that's the kind of relationship we have to have. CLARK Lois, the best day of my life was the day you found out I was Superman. It meant no more secrets. I'm done with hiding things from you. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 33. 47 CONTINUED: 47 LOIS (emotionally) I know. I'm still getting used to that. So if any part of me doubted you in all this... I can only say... I'm sorry. And that I love you. Clark reaches out, gently takes her hand, we... CUT TO: 48 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDE-OUT - ON COMPUTER KEYBOARD - DAY #4 48 PULL BACK to find a grunge-nerd HACKER typing at the computer. He cringes, trying to concentrate as we hear O.S. CRASHING and SPLINTERING. The room is a shambles. HACKER (speaking over racket) We're almost in. Tanzor's missile system has a highly sophisticated web of alarms and shunts that must be handled with utmost care... ANONYMOUS (O.S.) Put that down. CRASH! The Hacker jumps, tries to focus. JESSE (O.S.) I want mommy. ANONYMOUS (O.S.) (struggling to be sweet) Mommy is _still_ at the toy store buying you lots of surprises. So we have to wait just a few 'more minutes, okay? Throw me the ball. Hacker sighs, hunkers down, types. ANONYMOUS (O.S.) Nooo! Anonymous flies through FRAME, passing Hacker, CRASHES O.S. Hacker looks over. 49 INCLUDE ANONYMOUS 49 He lies slumped on the floor against a wall, dazedly holding a ball in his gut. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 34. 49 CONTINUED: 49 HACKER I'm in. ANONYMOUS (standing) _What_?! That's wonderful. HACKER (wearily standing) Now all you need are the launch codes. ANONYMOUS And we'll have them. (walking Hacker to door) You've done excellent work. Just excellent. HACKER Don't bother thanking me. Just send the cash. 50 INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE DOOR 50 Hacker, Anonymous come out, Hacker walks on, leaves FRAME. HACKER Good luck with the kid. He was starting to give me a headache. Anonymous pulls a gun with a silencer from his coat. ANONYMOUS Really? Then by all means, take two of these. He FIRES two fast SHOTS. We hear a BODY-FALL O.S. ANONYMOUS (CONT'D) Your check's in the mail. 51 INT. HIDE-OUT - ON WALL 51 A smoking kid-like picture of a face is appearing on the wall as we PULL BACK to find Jesse sketching it with his heat vision. Anonymous enters. ANONYMOUS Stop that, you little... Jesse looks over, startled. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 35. 51 CONTINUED: 51 ANONYMOUS (CONT'D) I mean... We have lots of _other_ fun games to play. Oh, let's see... How about... I know! 'Grab the President!' JESSE No. I don't feel good. ANONYMOUS (lips curling) Oh, I'm sure you have one more little game in you. _Don't_ you. CUT TO: 52 INT. DAILY PLANET - CLARK - DAY 52 Clark, perched on the edge of his desk, SLAMS down the phone as Lois approaches with notes. CLARK Well, that's it. There's no 'Donald Rafferty' at any law firm in Metropolis. LOIS He may be faking more than his law degree. CLARK What do you mean? LOIS (holds up baggie) The forensic report just came back on this stuff you found at Leigh-Anne's. CLARK (sniffs) Sure has a distinctive odor. LOIS (sniffs) Only to a super nose. Anyway, it's a kind of putty used by professional make-up artists. CLARK Or masters of disguise? Like the master of disguise rumored to be here for the peace conference? (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 36. 52 CONTINUED: 52 LOIS Anonymous? You think Jesse's with _Anonymous_? Oh God, I hope not... Leigh-Anne has come in, approaches, red-eyed from crying. LEIGH-ANNE I'm sorry to be a bother, but I just can't sit home... Is there any news? Lois and Clark look at each other. LOIS Nothing... we can confirm. CLARK Everyone's looking for him, Leigh-Anne. Especially Superman. He starts away, loosening his tie, bumping into Jimmy. As they walk: JIMMY C.K., I got news. Three listings for a 'Ding Dong Motel.' Joplin, Missouri.'.. (to himself) ... Never been there... JIMMY What? CLARK Nothing. Go, Jimmy... JIMMY Lincoln, Nebraska... And Traverse City, Michigan. CLARK Traverse City? Isn't that where an airliner nearly went down a year ago? JIMMY Yeah. Big electrical storm. Superman kept it from... Clark is already hurrying back to Leigh-Anne. JIMMY (CONT'D) ... crashing. --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 37. 53 LOIS AND LEIGH-ANNE 53 Clark rushes up. CLARK Leigh-Anne... Let me ask you. Were you and Jesse on a plane about a year ago over Michigan? LEIGH-ANNE I already told the airline, I'll _pay_ 'em when I can! I was _sure_ I had tickets when I got on, but.... CLARK (gently) That plane nearly crashed, right? LEIGH-ANNE (confused) What? Yeah.... CLARK And you were sitting... over the left wing? Window seat? LEIGH-ANNE Jesse had the window. It was his first time on a plane... CLARK And Superman rescued the plane... and posed for pictures with some of the passengers.... LOIS (staring at Leigh-Anne) Outside a motel. She's busted. Tears well up in Leigh-Anne's eyes, and she sits down, turning away from them. LEIGH-ANNE I really ain't good for much, am I? LOIS You love your son, Leigh-Anne. That counts for a lot. Clark smiles sympathetically, starts away; Lois hurries after him. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 38. 53 CONTINUED: 53 LOIS (CONT'D) (quiet; hurried) Clark, that electrical storm. A lightning bolt must have... CLARK ... hit me and transferred part of my power through the plane to Jesse. I've only known it to work when I was touching someone, but it obviously... (then, more emotional) I couldn't understand why I felt close to him, Lois, and now I know. I'm responsible for the way he is. He dashes off as CAMERA MOVES IN on Lois, and we... CUT TO: 54 EXT. GLOOMY INNER CITY STREET - HIGH ANGLE - DAY 54 Rope barricades hold the public and press at bay as we CRANE DOWN to where the President, flanked on all sides by Secret service types, sits in an easy chair before a store front marked "Jax Street Day Care Center." The President bounces a toddler on his knee as CAMERAS FLASH. Nearby is a short line of working class parents wearing I.D. badges, holding the hands of kids, who also wear I.D. badges. 55 THE LINE 55 CAMERA MOVES down the line to where a kindly grandpa with I.D. badge holds the hand of a scruffy little kid. We MOVE IN on the kid, and under his cap and glasses, we see it's Jesse. JESSE I'm tired. ANONYMOUS Quit your incessant complain... (catches himself) ... You can take a nap when we get home, okie-dokie? After our game, we'll have ice cream, and cotton candy, and jellybeans... JESSE Okay. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 39. 55 CONTINUED: 55 ANONYMOUS You're next. Remember how we play this game? 56 THE CROWD 56 Press and onlookers smile as, beyond them, one little kid hops off the President's lap and Jesse approaches. He reaches out to the President, the President reaches out to him. 57 JESSE AND PRESIDENT 57 JESSE Hug. The President stands, bends over, Jesse puts his arms around him. 58 ANONYMOUS 58 CAMERA MOVES IN on him, he holds his breath. 59 THE STREET - VARIOUS ANGLES 59 Suddenly, with a WHOOSH, Jesse and the President BLUR straight up and off into the sky! Chaos as Secret Service and Crowd erupt in confusion. Guns FIRE, people SCREAM, hit the dirt. 60 ANONYMOUS 60 Humming a little tune, he serenely strolls away as SIRENS WAIL and BLACK. _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 40. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 61 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDE-OUT - DAY 61 The President is strapped to a chair near the computer terminal, looking terrified and roughed-up. ANONYMOUS One more time, Mr. President. I insist you give me your nation's nuclear launch codes. (slaps him hard) Pretty please? PRESIDENT You are a crazy person! Do what you want to me! But there _will_ be peace between Tanzor and Fostonia! ANONYMOUS Don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less about your little peace treaty. However, I am being paid handsomely to level your opposition. The President gives Anonymous an icy stare. ANONYMOUS (CONT'D) Well, sir. As much as I enjoy doing this the hard way, perhaps I'll have better luck doing this the easy way. Anonymous opens a leather case, takes out a syringe. ANONYMOUS (CONT'D) Truth serum. He squirts a little into the air. The President's eyes widen in terror. PRESIDENT No. Nooooo!! CUT TO: 62 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 62 Lois and Clark watch news video of the kidnapping. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 41. 62 CONTINUED: 62 CLARK Anonymous obviously has Jesse completely in his control. LOIS (rewinds, plays tape again) There's gotta be something on this tape that can help us. She replays the scene. CLARK Sshhh... Listen. LOIS I don't hear anything. CLARK I do. (stops tape) Just before Jesse flew off with the President, he said something. It sounded like 'Red Choo Choo.' LOIS 'Red Choo Choo?' I don't speak 'kid' very well, but wouldn't you think that means 'train?' CLARK Red train? Maybe they're leaving by train? LOIS Maybe Anonymous has him stashed at a train yard? CLARK It's a shot. I'll check out every train and train yard on the coast. Don't go away. And he dashes off. Leigh-Anne and Dr. Klein rush out of the elevator. LEIGH-ANNE Miss Lane! Dr. Klein here has news. Where's Mr. Kent? LOIS He's helping Superman look for Jesse. We think we may have a lead. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 42. 62 CONTINUED: 2 62 LEIGH-ANNE Oh, thank God. LOIS (to Klein) Sorry, Doctor. But the D.N.A, results will have to wait... Right now we have to... DR. KLEIN I don't have the results. This is much more serious. As I was analyzing Jesse's hair sample, I noticed that its molecular structure varied throughout the strand. It seems there's been a gradual, yet steady... (beat) it's easier if I show you. Klein takes out a strand of hair, and a pair of scissors from his lab coat. DR. KLEIN (CONT'D) This end is about a year old. He tries to cut the end of the hair. The scissors break. DR. KLEIN (CONT'D) And now, the much _newer_ part... With scissors, he cuts the top of the hair easily. LOIS What are you saying? Jesse's losing his super-powers? DR. KLEIN (nods) I'm afraid so... LOIS Superman said the transfer was imperfect... So the results might be temporary... DR. KLEIN And after this recent exertion... Miss Lane, Jesse is no safer right now than any ordinary child. LEIGH-ANNE (claps hand to mouth) Oh! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 43. 62 CONTINUED: 3 62 LOIS Okay... Okay... Listen. Leigh-Anne. We think we know where Jesse might be. Jesse said 'red choo-choo' just before he left with the President. Superman is checking out the train yards as we speak... LEIGH-ANNE But that may not be the right place at all! 'Choo choo' is Jesse's word for trains. But also for big smokestacks. LOIS Smokestacks? LEIGH-ANNE They remind him of those old fashioned steam engines... So he uses the same word for both. Lois grabs her coat. LOIS If Clark comes back, tell him I went to the old Metro-Chem plant. LEIGH-ANNE (confused) What? LOIS Tell him to look for the big red smokestack! CUT TO: 63 EXT. FACTORY WITH RED CHIMNEY - TO ESTABLISH - DAY 63 A run-down place of brick and broken windows. 64 INT. ANONYMOUS'S HIDE-OUT - DAY 64 The President mutters deliriously in his chair. Anonymous types launch-codes into the computer. PRESIDENT ... fifteen alpha... twenty-six omega... (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 44. 64 CONTINUED: 64 ANONYMOUS (typing) ... fifteen alpha... twenty-six omega... PRESIDENT .. forty-two sigma ... (sings) 'Oh, my papa.... To me he was so wonderful...' 65 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDEOUT - HALLWAY - DAY 65 Lois enters, and tip-toes down the creepy corridor. Jesse sneaks up behind her and tags her. JESSE Tag! You're it! Jesse runs off, into the hide-out. LOIS (half-whispering) Jesse? Jesse, come back here... 66 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDEOUT - CONTINUOUS 66 Lois cautiously pokes her head through the doorway. 67 HER POV 67 The President mutters deliriously, Anonymous types. Jesse walks up to Anonymous. PRESIDENT ... sixty-one epsilon... Lois takes a lipstick from her purse and inches toward Anonymous. JESSE (to Anonymous) Un-cle Don-aaald... ANONYMOUS Not now, I'm busy. Lois gives Jesse the "Shh!" sign. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 45. 67 CONTINUED: 67 PRESIDENT Nine delta... I'll take Bleu Cheese on that salad, Miss... JESSE (smiling) Un-cle Don-aaald... Lois shakes her head "no." Jesse giggles. Lois inches closer. The Computer BEEPS. ANONYMOUS Jackpot! System armed, missiles ready to go. Lois jabs Anonymous in the back with her lipstick. LOIS Back away from the computer. Anonymous backs away. There's an awkward silence. ANONYMOUS Okay. Now what? LOIS (unsure) Uh, get down on your stomach. And don't move, or so help me, I'll... get very mad. What's going on here? PRESIDENT (drunk) Fostonia goes boom! JESSE (giggles) Boom! ANONYMOUS That's right, Jesse. Wouldn't you like to see some fireworks? Jesse nods. LOIS Jesse, come here, honey. ANONYMOUS Just hit the red button. For the big 'boom!' Jesse approaches the computer. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 46. 67 CONTINUED: 2 67 LOIS No, Jesse. That's not fireworks. That's a bad thing. Auntie Lois will buy you candy if you don't push it. ANONYMOUS A big boom is better than candy, kid. Push it. LOIS Auntie will buy you a bigger sofa to lift. A sectional. You don't want to push the nasty ol' button do you? JESSE Okay. He pushes the button as Lois rushes to stop him. Too late. ANONYMOUS Gee, you're a regular Mr. Rogers. 68 STOCK FOOTAGE - A MISSILE LAUNCHING 68 69 BACK TO SCENE 69 The computer screen reads "MISSILE LAUNCHED". Underneath it reads "TIME OF IMPACT: 12 MINUTES 00 SECONDS," and begins ticking downward. A BLIPPING DOT leaves a diagram of Tanzor. Anonymous has a gun on Lois. PRESIDENT It's no use. It can't be stopped. Anonymous plucks the lipstick from Lois' hand. ANONYMOUS Lipstick. Very creative. What were you going to do, give me a makeover? LOIS (re gun) I know. Cliched, but effective. Anonymous backs away, and takes Jesse by the hand. JESSE Where's the boom? I want the boom! (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 47. 69 CONTINUED: 69 ANONYMOUS Shut up. He starts dragging Jesse away. LOIS Jesse! Auntie Lois needs help! JESSE You're bad! ANONYMOUS Yeah, so? Jesse punches him. It doesn't hurt. ANONYMOUS (CONT'D) Well. Suddenly super-kid isn't so super after all. Pity. Anonymous shoves Jesse forward and exits, SLAMS the heavy door. 70 INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 70 Anonymous breaks open a glass "EMERGENCY BOX." He flips a switch. A THICK CLOUD OF PURPLE SMOKE emanates from the lab floor. It rises VERY SLOWLY. Lois' face appears in the glass portion of the door. ANONYMOUS Balorium phosphide. It devours oxygen as it rises. They designed it to suffocate laboratory fires. Or, in your case... JESSE Superman!! Superman!! ANONYMOUS (ironically) Don't hold your breath. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a fee to collect. And he rushes off down the hall. 71 EXT. METROPOLIS SKYLINE - SUPERMAN FLYING - DAY - STOCK 71 Superman, in flight, SUPERHEARS Jesse's distant cry for help. Unsure of where it came from, he flies off in a best-guess direction. --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 48. 72 STOCK FOOTAGE - MISSILE IN FLIGHT 72 73 INT. ANONYMOUS' HIDE-OUT - MOMENTS LATER 73 The gas continues to rise. Lois comforts Jesse in her arms, keeping his head above the cloud. She also struggles to keep the groggy President standing. PRESIDENT (singing) When-a the moon hits-a your eye like a bigga pizza pie, that's amore... LOIS (hugging him) It's okay, Jesse. Everything's gonna be fine. PRESIDENT (still doped up) No, it's not. Believe me, kid. We're doomed. 74 COMPUTER SCREEN 74 The blipping dot continues to arc, getting closer to Fostonia. The clock reads: "Time Until Impact: 2:46" CUT TO: 75 EXT. SKY - SUPERMAN IN FLIGHT - DAY - STOCK 75 Superman slows down to hear more of Jesse's yells. Nothing. He spots something on the ground, and starts to descend. 76 EXT. CHEMICAL PLANT FENCE - BUS STOP - DAY 76 Four or five elderly ladies wait. Superman lands. SUPERMAN Have any of you seen a young boy, or a European gentleman? They'd be with another man. ANONYMOUS (woman's voice) I think they just got on the last bus. It was heading downtown... SUPERMAN Thanks. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 49. 76 CONTINUED: 76 As Superman prepares to fly off, his NOSE picks up a FAMILIAR SCENT. He turns, and beams of Heat Vision issue from his eyes. 77 GROUP OF WOMEN 77 The other ladies scream and shrink back as one "woman's" face begins to melt off to finally reveal Anonymous. SUPERMAN Anonymous, I take it. ANONYMOUS Superman. Finally we meet face-to-face. So to speak. Superman grabs him by the shoulders. SUPERMAN Where are they? Before Anonymous can answer, Superman SUPER-HEARS Lois yelling "Superman!" He quickly wraps the "bus stop" sign around Anonymous. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) I'll deal with you later. He takes off. Anonymous smiles sardonically. ANONYMOUS By all means. Rescue them. You can't save then and a country, too. 78 INT. HIDE-OUT CONTINUOUS 78 The smoke is almost to her chin as Lois holds up Jesse and the President. She starts to cough, about to sink down into the haze, when suddenly the door is RIPPED FROM ITS HINGES and Superman appears! He instantly sucks out the purple smoke, and Lois collapses to the floor with Jesse and the President. SUPERMAN Let's get you out of here. LOIS There's no time. A nuclear warheads headed for Fostonia. Look! --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 50. 79 ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN 79 "16 SECONDS UNTIL IMPACT." The blipping dot is almost at its target. LOIS You can't get around the world in time! SUPERMAN 'Around' the world? You're right. Superman takes a little jump, does a SOMERSAULT in mid-air, and PLUNGES into the floor, HEAD-FIRST, with a BLAST of cement and rock. CUT TO: 80 INT. SOMEWHERE NEAR THE CENTER OF THE EARTH - CONTINUOUS 50 Superman is SPINNING like a drill, as he TUNNELS through the earth's mantle. CUT TO: 81 EXT. OUTDOOR CAFE - DOWNTOWN FOSTONIA - DAY 81 Diners are eating, listening to the sweet sounds of an ACCORDION PLAYER. They start to hear the ROAR of the oncoming missile. Superman BURSTS through the ground with another EXPLOSION of rock. Diners scatter, chairs go over. In SLOW MOTION he catches the giant nose-piece of the nuclear missile just before impact. 82 WIDE SHOT 82 Superman holds the missile like a giant candle. Its engine is sputtering out. The stunned Fostonians react. DISSOLVE TO: 83 INT. DAILY PLANET - CLOSE ON NEWSPAPER - MORNING - DAY #5 83 The headline reads "SUPERMAN NABS ANONYMOUS," and below it: "NUCLEAR DISASTER AVERTED." CAMERA PULLS BACK, revealing Lois showing the page to Clark, who flips through another copy. (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 51. 83 CONTINUED: 83 LOIS We oughta send a copy to Anonymous. Give him some meaty jail time reading. (off his look) Clark, we nailed the biggest story of the year. Gloat. CLARK It's great. Really great. LOIS But... ? CLARK Well, I can't seen to find the big story that completely exonerates Superman. LOIS Oh, it's there. On page fifty-three. (as he flips pages) No, keep looking. There... between the obituaries and the auction notices. CLARK Great. LOIS Well, you know what they say in journalism school.. . Exoneration doesn't sell papers. While Clark's reading, Leigh-Anne and Jesse come over. LEIGH-ANNE Jesse and I just came by to say thanks. And ask you to say thanks to Superman, too. And... you know.... that I'm sorry. Jimmy approaches, readying a camera. JIMMY C'mon, you two, one more smile for the camera. LEIGH-ANNE Oh no. We are one hundred percent through with fame and fortune. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- "CHIP OFF THE OLD CLARK" (#8) Jamin & Glarum 9/19/95 52. 83 CONTINUED: 2 83 LEIGH-ANNE (CONT'D) Jesse's going back to kindergarten, and I'm enrolling in beauty college. He's back to normal, and that's all I want for us. Until I win the lottery. (hugs Lois then Clark) Thank you both again. JESSE Bye bye. CLARK 'Bye, Pal. Don't be surprised if Superman drops by for a visit. Leigh-Anne and Jesse are gone. LOIS So what about us? Are we going back to being normal? CLARK Whatever 'normal' is for us. LOIS Well, let's see... Before we were interrupted, I was just starting to really enjoy being engaged... CLARK Yeah, me too. LOIS So what's 'normal' for a woman happily engaged to a really cute guy? oh, I know. And she pulls Clark into a lusty kiss. When they finally break: CLARK (a little embarrassed) Lois... Everyone's watching. LOIS (smiles) Yeah? Who cares? And she kisses him again as staffers grin, and... BLACK. _THE END_