notes: To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) (I had to tell my program that my primitive printer was using legal-size paper) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) * and (X) used in script probably mean "this line changed from previous version" Notes: Cover: "SEASON'S GREEDINGS", Written by Dean Cain (and) Directed by Randall Zisk are in larger, bold script; WARNER BROS. TELEVISION is in an arial-type script; the rest of the document is in Courier 10 Notes: two page 23s, different colors Page 8.: near bottom, Lois says "you're just sort of... under seige." siege is spelled wrong in original Page 13., near bottom - "Lois sqeezes, and gets" squeezes is spelled wrong in original Page 25., near top - "Superman nods relucantly." reluctantly is spelled wrong in original Page 50: at bottom - "...into her mouth and taps her shoulder" should probably be "his" shoulder... --page break-- [Logo. See logo.bmp or logo.jpg] "SEASON'S GREEDINGS" EPISODE NINE Prod. #456459 Written by Dean Cain Directed by Randall Zisk WARNER BROS. TELEVISION _Production Draft_ October 24, 1994 FULL Blue 10/26/94 FULL Pink 10/28/94 Yellow R. 10/31/94 Green R. 11/l/94 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Season's Greedings_" Pink Rev. 10/28/94 _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE PERRY WHITE JIMMY OLSEN MARTHA KENT JONATHAN KENT _____________________________________________________________ WINSLOW P. SCHOTT * MARGARET DUFFY HARRY HECKLEBAUM ORPHANAGE WORKER/SANTA ANGELA PRETENTIOUS LADY JOEL DANIELLE NEWS ANCHOR WEATHERMAN --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Season's Greedings_" Pink Rev. 10/28/94 _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Coates Orphanage * Newsroom Park Perry's Office Conference Room Daily Planet Schott's Lair Reservoir Farmingdale's Toy store Farmingdale's Toy Store Hecklebaum's Office Hecklebaum's Office Lois' Apartment Alley --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Season's Greedings_" Pink Rev. 10/28/94 _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 4 DAY 1 SC. 5 - 30 DAY 2 SC. 31 - 38 NIGHT 2 SC. 39 - 58 DAY 3 SC. 59 - 67 NIGHT 3 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "Season's Greedings" _TEASER_ FADE IN: 1 EXT. COATES ORPHANAGE - DUSK - DAY #1 1(X) A modest building situated just across from a small park. Like the street and park nearby, it is blanketed in fresh, white snow. A lone ORPHANAGE WORKER is struggling to put up an enormous wreath on-the orphanage gate. It drops out of his grasp. A HAND reaches out and catches it dexterously. WIDEN To REVEAL CLARK, the catcher, LOIS next to him. WORKER Thanks. CLARK Sure. (smells wreath, then hands it back up) Don't you love Christmas? LOIS (shrugs) It's okay. CLARK Okay? Just... okay? LOIS It's a very nice holiday. Like the Fourth of July or Arbor Day. As they walk on and OUT OF FRAME, they pass FOUR CHILDREN in the orphanage courtyard, building a SNOWMAN, including JOEL, 10, a heavier boy with the face of an angel, and DANIELLE, 7, a small, fragile thing with eyes of gold. She fits a mitten onto his stick arm. A KID tries to take it. JOEL I told you guys, don't pick on Danielle... 1A RESUME LOIS AND CLARK ON THE SIDEWALK 1A CLARK You're comparing Christmas to Arbor Day? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 2. 1A CONTINUED: 1A LOIS I'm not comparing, I'm just saying they're both holidays and they're both... fine. She says this as they pass a MAN at a sidewalk bus bench holding a wrapped box. His name is WINSLOW P. SCHOTT, (X) quirky and meticulous. MS. MARGARET DUFFY, his faithful assistant, stands alongside him, looking worried as Lois and Clark MOVE ON into the park. MS. DUFFY I don't know, Mr. Schott, I just don't know about this... SCHOTT Ms. Duffy, we are about to teach the world a lesson. This is no (X) time to waffle. (X) MS. DUFFY I don't think it's waffling to say it just seems a little... ummmm... well, it might be waffling a little... Mmmmmm, no, I don't think so because, because it's... SCHOTT Unkind? Unfair? Unpleasant? (she nods) The world is an unkind, unfair, unpleasant place. This -- (he refers to the gift in his lap) -- is simply going to strip away its facade of decency and good will. He sees that the Worker hanging the wreath is gone and the Four Kids are alone. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Chil-dren! Oh, chil-dren! Come here, won't you...? Joel and the others stop building, and cautiously approach. Danielle stays with the snowman. SCHOTT (CONT'D) I have something I'd like to give you. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 3. 1A CONTINUED: 2 1A Joel takes a protective stance in front of the smaller kids, lining them up be-hind him. JOEL You're not some kind of weirdo, are you, Mister? SCHOTT No, I'm a toymaker. Let me show you. (lifts box lid, with (X) fanfare) Tah-dahhh... the Atomic Space Rat. Schott opens the colorful box, pulling out an ATOMIC SPACE RAT: a furry little vermin in a costume that looks like a cross between a football uniform, a biker outfit, and Zorro. In its hand is a small CHEESE GUN made out of plastic. The kids like it. JOEL What does the gun shoot? SCHOTT (pulls trigger) Use your nose. JOEL Eeeeuuuhhhh, it stinks! (smiles, suddenly loving it) Cool! SCHOTT You can have this one. Schott hands the rat to Joel. Joel squeezes the rat and (X) the gun sprays a mist. The other kids take sniffs as well (X) and run off with Joel. He turns to Mrs. Duffy. SCHOTT (CONT"D) Watch what the smell does. Holding the Space Rat, Joel and the others run up to Danielle, who continues quietly building the snowman, when suddenly Joel snatches the mittens off. JOEL These are mine! (snatches coal eyes, carrot nose, hat, etc.) And so's this and this... and this! (grabs at her hat) Gimme it! (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 4. 1A CONTINUED: 3 1A Schott and Ms. Duffy are watching intently. He's ecstatic. She's worried. SCHOTT You see, Ms. Duffy? Greed. The rats make children greedy. As Schott rises from the bench, doing a little dance with her as they round the corner, Danielle makes a mad dash -- out of the orphanage courtyard, across the street, into the park. Joel and the others immediately give chase, making snowballs, bombing them at her as she runs. 2 EXT. OTHER SIDE OF PARK - DUSK 2 Lois and Clark cut through. CLARK See, I think what makes Christmas special is the whole spirit of -- Clark's SUPERHEARING picks up the children's threats to Danielle. CLARK (CONT'D) -- shopping, I just remembered... some, uh, last minute shopping. As he bolts -- LOIS (nods) The spirit of shopping, that sort of sums it all up, doesn't it? 3 EXT. PARK - TREES - DUSK 3 Danielle hiding making her lone snowball as Joel and the other close in with their snowballs. Unseen by any of the children, SUPERMAN FLOATS to the ground behind a tree. Joel and the boys see Danielle and to hurl their snowballs. Danielle closes her eyes and heaves her snowball, then covers her head, waiting to be destroyed. Superman BLOWS them back at the boys, who get splattered. She slowly uncovers her eyes to find Joel and the other kids covered in snow -- surprised, but unhurt. They run away. Danielle flashes a grin at Superman, who winks and smiles. SUPERMAN Merry Christmas... --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 5. 4 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - DUSK 4 Schott and Duffy round a corner. SCHOTT The rats go on sale tomorrow, Ms. Duffy. Every toy store in Metropolis will carry them, every child will want one; everyone who comes near them will smell them and oohhhhh, Ms. Duffy, what a Christmas this will be. Off her worried look and his maniacal laugh, we... FADE OUT. _END OF TEASER_ --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 6. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 5 EXT. METROPOLIS.STREET - DAY #2 5 Lois and Clark round the corner toward the Daily Planet. (X) GREEN AND RED DECORATIONS are strung merrily across the city streets. CLARK Lois, doesn't the time of year and the feeling in the air just... make you happy? LOIS Clark, I'm not the Grinch, okay? You don't have to sell me on Christmas. I like it a lot. CLARK But you don't love it. LOIS I like it... a lot. CLARK A lot? Or a lot, a _lot_. LOIS Mmmmm, I'm somewhere between a lot and a lot, a _lot_. They pass a STREET SANTA outside the PLANET accepting donations in an old iron pot for the COATES ORPHANAGE. (X) Clark drops money inside. SANTA (to Clark) Hi, how are you? CLARK Hi. SANTA You don't remember me. (pulls beard down; he's the Orphanage Worker) You caught the wreath at the orphanage? CLARK Oh, yeah. How's it going? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 7. 5 CONTINUED: 5 SANTA Well, I wish I could say great but... (peers into his near-empty pot) ...so far you're way ahead in the generosity race. Too bad, those kids really deserve better. I guess most people can't even imagine what it's like to be an orphan at Christmas. Lois just looks at Clark, who's momentarily struck by this. LOIS (digs into purse) This guy is _good_. She drops money in. CLARK Lois, why don't you go on ahead? I want to talk to Santa. LOIS Of course you do. She pushes back through the revolving doors. CUT TO: 6 INT. DAILY PLANET - PERRY'S OFFICE - DAY 6 PERRY sits behind his desk, the phone at his ear. He plays with one of those snowy scenes inside the small glass container. PERRY Ho, ho, ho, honey. I know, I'm excited too. The first Christmas we've ever spent alone. Tomorrow night, we'll have a little candlelight, and I'll dress up in a big red Santa suit, and tell you if you've been naughty or nice... 7 INT. DAILY PLANET - PIT - DAY 7 X-mas decorations in full bloom, and JIMMY OLSEN hanging a small banner over a small table near the elevators that reads, "DAILY PLANET SECRET SANTA! PICK NAMES HERE!" Jimmy makes one last adjustment, and the banner is perfect. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 8. 7 CONTINUED: 7 ANGELA What's a Secret Santa? Jimmy turns, and there she is: ANGELA. 18, shy, and very beautiful. She's new to the Planet. They lock eyes, and Jimmy is flustered: JIMMY Secret Santa is, uh, where everyone picks a name out of this bowl, and they have to buy a Christmas present for the person whose name they draw. I'm in charge of it. ANGELA Sounds like fun. I'm Angela. Jimmy's tongue won't work. JIMMY I'm... in charge of it. ANGELA Nice to meet you, Mr. I'm-In-Charge-of-it. (X) She smiles and walks off, leaving Jimmy exasperated. Lois exits the elevators, passing right by Jimmy. She takes in the decorations. LOIS Little heavy on the red and green, aren't we? She plucks some bows off her desk. JIMMY You don't like them? LOIS Do I have a choice? JIMMY Sorry? LOIS It's just, everywhere you look, you're just sort of... under seige. Ribbons, wreaths, trees, mistletoe; Santas, Elves, Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Pounding you, day and night, in your face, 'You must love Christmas, you must love Christmas, you must love Christmas... (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 9. 7 CONTINUED: 2 7 JIMMY Guess we won't be goin' carolling tonight, huh? LOIS Just once, I'd like to _feel_ Christmas.. Discover it, you know? Unwrap it and be surprised by how wonderful it is, instead of having it shoved relentlessly in my face like half-off coupons at a swap meet. JIMMY I know what you're saying. Feels so big sometimes, it's like, Christmas is a whale and we're all minnows. LOIS Well, this year, I'm no minnow; I'm taking control. I'm going to have the Christmas I want. And nothing is going to get in the way. JIMMY Excellent. Lois pulls out her phone book. Looks up a number, then dials. LOIS Hello? Dr. Sam Lane, please... His daughter, Lois? I called last week and -- (same old story) Sure, I'll hold. 8 EXT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 8 Clark is sitting on a bench with Santa, sipping coffee. SANTA We've been to all the big toy (X) stores trying to get donations. I (X) guess they're too busy... (X) CLARK What if I could get a friend of mine to ask some stores to donate toys? He's sort of a celebrity (X) and he's an orphan himself... (X) (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 10. 8 CONTINUED: 8 SANTA Yeah, do I know him? CLARK You might, he flies in and out (X) every so often... 9 INT. DAILY PLANET - PIT - DAY 9 Lois is at her desk, still on the phone. LOIS No, Lucy. Mom can't make it. I couldn't even get Dad on the phone. They kept me on hold for twenty minutes. What about you? (beat) You're in love? Christmas in Venice? Wow, that is romantic. (beat) Oh. Venice, California... He's either going to be an artist or an actor? Well, good luck, Lucy. You're gonna need it... merry Christmas. She hangs up, even more depressed, just as Perry bounds in with a revelation. PERRY Atomic Space Rats! LOIS Gesundheit. PERRY People are going nuts for them. LOIS Let me guess. Slow news day? PERRY A seventy-year-old lady just knocked another lady's dentures out, for cryin' out loud. Olsen, (X) I could use a picture of that. (X) Where's Clark? LOIS Out on the street talking to Santa. PERRY Of course he is. CUT TO: --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 11. 10 INT. SCHOTT'S LAIR - DAY 10 A large warehouse. There are a few pieces of machinery and tools for building toys precisely arranged next to a large VAT of yellow, cheesey GOO. Several delicately detailed beautiful TEDDY BEARS sit on a shelf, next to several boxes of Atomic Space Rats. Ms. Duffy, wearing a large clothes pin on her nose, takes a Teddy Bear down, pulls the string hanging from its back. It speaks. TEDDY BEAR Merry Christmas. I love you. Ms. Duffy smiles, and looks over at Schott, who is currently mixing the contents of the vat with a large Canoe Oar. He glares at her. SCHOTT Ms. Duffy. Put that down. MS. DUFFY I'm sorry, Mr. Schott. She picks up an oar and moves to him. SCHOTT I don't know why you keep those (X) fuzzy failures around. MS. DUFFY Don't call them that, I love them. They're so sweet and soft. I think they're the best toy you ever made. SCHOTT Really. Do these words ring a bell, Ms. Duffy? 'Mister, your Teddy Bears _suck_.' 'We _hate_ these.' MS. DUFFY Children say things they don't always mean... SCHOTT Would that that were true of adults who say things like, 'You're fired.' MS. DUFFY You were too good for Metropolis Toys, Mr. Schott. SCHOTT So were you, Ms. Duffy. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 12. 10 CONTINUED: 10 MS. DUFFY (touched) Thank you, Mr. Schott. She looks at him tenderly. He concentrates on his stirring. SCHOTT 'Make something the kids want to buy,' they said. Well, we've made (X) it _now_, all right. Getting (X) fired last Christmas was the best (X) thing that could have happened to us. We're going to make them pay for what they did. The toy (X) companies, the kids, every single person in this lousy, good for nothing sinkhole of a city. oh, they're going to pay... and pay... As Schott speaks, CAMERA PULLS BACK, and we find... 11 WIDE ANGLE 11 The warehouse is full -- Schott is surrounded by THOUSANDS of ATOMIC SPACE RATS. SCHOTT ...and pay... and PAY! CUT TO: 12 EXT. FARMINGDALE'S TOY STORE - DAY 12 A large CROWD OF PEOPLE, parents and children alike, wait, lined up impatiently at the front doors. Lois, Clark, and Jimmy pull up in a taxi and see the line. JIMMY Geez, look at all the people. Wonder what the big deal with this toy is? Jimmy starts taking pictures. LOIS Let's find out. They go to the front and see the overwhelmed STORE MANAGER (X) trying to control the surging Crowd as he struggles and (X) fumbles to open the door with a set of keys. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 13. 12 CONTINUED: 12 LOIS (CONT'D) Excuse me, Lois Lane, Daily Planet? We're doing a story on these Atomic Space Mice? JIMMY Rats. LOIS Whatever. We'd like to get in, see the toys, take some pictures, ask some ques -- The Manager gets the door open and the Crowd RUSHES in, nearly trampling him, taking Jimmy and Lois with them. Clark pretends to get lost in the crowd, then ducks out of frame, comes back in opposite side of frame as Superman. SUPERMAN Sir, have you ever heard of the Coates Orphanage? They really need toys this year and -- The Manager is suddenly knocked over by THREE OVER-EAGER BUYERS. Superman helps him up. (X) SUPERMAN (CONT'D) Sorry. So I'm asking toy stores to donate some gifts. Would you be (X) interested? CUT TO: 13 INT. FARMINGDALE'S - DAY 13 Lois comes around the corner of an aisle with Jimmy -- she's the first person inside, and she spots an aisle full of Atomic Space Rats. Grabs one not in a box, looks at it, put off by it ugliness. LOIS Doesn't anybody like Teddy Bears anymore? Jimmy snaps pictures of the boxes of rats. As more people stampede inside, the aisle gets more and more crowded and he's pushed out of sight. Lois sqeezes, and gets a nose full of the horrible smell. LOIS (CONT'D) Uggh! What is this? It's... it's... (smiles) ...kind of nice. --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 14. 13A SCHOTT AND MS. DUFFY 13A move in with the crowd, then break away and stand off to (X) the side. SCHOTT If my biochemical calculations are correct, the rats should have a slightly different effect on adults. MS. DUFFY I'm afraid to ask. SCHOTT Due to hormonal differences, I believe its rather unusual side effect will be to make adults act (X) like children. The question is, (X) will they act like _greedy_ (X) children? 13B A PRETENTIOUS LADY 13B bumps into Lois, making her pull the trigger again; she catches the spray directly up the nose. She rears back at the smell, then smiles, and grabs Lois' Atomic Space Rat. PRETENTIOUS LADY I want that. LOIS Sorry, I had it first. PRETENTIOUS LADY (grabs it away) Possession is nine-tenths of the law. LOIS (like a little kid) You gimme that! PRETENTIOUS LADY (also like a little kid) I won't, I won't, I won't! Lois hangs on for life, and a bitter struggle ensues. LOIS I had it first! PRETENTIOUS LADY Did not! (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 14A. 13B CONTINUED: 13B LOIS Did so! (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 15. 13B CONTINUED: 13B PRETENTIOUS LADY Did not! LOIS Did so! PRETENTIOUS LADY Didnotdidnotdidnot! LOIS Did so, INFINITY! Lois yanks and the Rat RIPS IN HALF! Yellow GOO spills all over Lois' hands, and the effect is overwhelming. As she DROPS OUT OF THE FRAME and the Pretentious Lady is swept away in a sea of rioting bodies -- 14 SCHOTT 14 standing with Ms Duffy, watching from the corner of the store. Ms. Duffy seems a bit worried. SCHOTT Well, well. I'd say so far the Rats are living up to every expectation, wouldn't you, Ms. Duffy? (checks his pocket watch) All right, onto Step Two of our plan. MS. DUFFY Step Two? There's a Step Two? SCHOTT We're ruining Christmas, Ms. Duffy. It's a big job. 15 OMITTED 15 _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 16. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 16 INT. DAILY PLANET - PIT - DAY 16 The elevator doors open. Lois, Clark, and Jimmy pour out. Lois has three intact rats and DRIED GOO on her hands. She keeps inhaling it. CLARK Lois, can I just see one? LOIS They're _my_ rats! (X) Lois takes off toward her desk. Clark and Jimmy exchange looks, and follow. Clark tries a different tack. CLARK Look, c'mon, this was kind of a funny joke in the cab, it was a little less funny in the lobby; now it's getting old and we've got a deadline, so can I have a look? Lois stops, considering the proposal. LOIS Just a look? CLARK (nods) Just a look. LOIS Okay... Lois slowly brings a rat up, right to face level, and pulls the trigger on the cheese gun, right in Clark and Jimmy's faces. Clark and Jimmy reel back, the FUMES going straight up their nostrils. Lois giggles like a child, and skips away. CLARK That smells _terrible_. JIMMY Awful. CLARK I like it. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 17. 16 CONTINUED 16 JIMMY Me too. (staring at Lois) And I really want one of these rats. CLARK Me, too. JIMMY (looking around) I want... I want... everything. He jams his hand into a candy bowl and stuffs his face with chocolates. CLARK Hey, look over there. Jimmy does and Clark practically INHALES all the chocolates in the bowl. Jimmy looks down, dismayed. Lois is at her (X) desk, struck with an idea, and she picks up her phone book, (X) dials a number. LOIS Hello, Lucy? It's Lois. I just wanted to tell you that you're _not_ invited to my Christmas dinner tomorrow night... Well, because, all the food I'm gonna buy is mine and I don't want to share! (X) She hangs up the phone, and giggles like a schoolgirl. 16A INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER 16A He hears a commotion from out in the Pit, gets up and opens his door. 16B INT. PLANET PIT - DAY 16B Perry looks out and sees UTTER MADNESS: Lois holding her rats and playing hopscotch, trying to get some of the other WOMEN to join in. LOIS C'mon, you guys! She does a spectacular hopscotch and laughs. Meanwhile, Clark and Jimmy go flying past on wheeled chairs, having a (X) chair race. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 18. 16B CONTINUED: 16B PERRY (roaring) WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON HERE? Lois, Clark and Jimmy stop, like guilty children. CLARK I told you guys we shoulda been quiet! LOIS Clark, you're not the boss of us! Perry looks down at the hopscotch squares Lois drew on the (X) floor. PERRY Lois, are those squares in magic marker? LOIS Well... CLARK (sing-song) Lois is in trouble, Lois is in trouble... LOIS Yeah, well, I have all the rats and you don't have any! CLARK I could get those if I wanted! (X) PERRY E-NUFF! Now I don't know what we've got going on here -- I guess we all just need vacations worse than I thought -- but we got a paper to put out here and a story to do on these Rats... JIMMY Gimme the Rats, I'll do the story! He goes for them and Lois hangs on. Perry steps in. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 19. 16B CONTINUED: 2 16B PERRY (breaking up the struggle) That's it, the end, good night! (takes the Rats) Lois, give me the Rats. (she hesitates) _Lois_. (she hands them over) Now go to your desk. LOIS Oh, geez, that's real fair... Clark comes up to Perry. CLARK Can I have a rat? Can I? Cmon, (X) Chief, huh? (X) PERRY Clark you want me to send you to your desk, too? CLARK (bummed) No. PERRY Then settle down. Perry heads for his office, holding the Space Rats. PERRY (CONT'D) Doesn't anybody like fire trucks anymore? (X) Perry leaves. Clark sees a STAFFER go by with a big box of donuts and grabs one, then another, then another, moving OFF. The elevator doors open, revealing JONATHAN and MARTHA KENT, arms loaded with Christmas gifts. JONATHAN This is the last year we come to Metropolis to do our Christmas shopping. The city's too crazy. Everybody shoving, pushing, grabbing... MARTHA Oh, Jonathan, what are you talking about? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 20. 16B CONTINUED: 3 16B Lois leaps into frame and digs through their bags of gifts. LOIS Any of those for me, any of those for me? JONATHAN (answering Martha) Gee, I don't know... must be my imagination. 17 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - DAY 17 Perry sits at his desk, with the Rats all there, looking through his stacks of Elvis albums. Jonathan and Martha come in. JONATHAN Hi, Perry, we're looking for Clark. PERRY Look at these Elvis records... aren't they great? And they're all mine. Martha glances over her shoulder and -- 18 18 THRU OMITTED THRU 19 19 20 MARTHA'S POV - CLARK 20 as he comes out with donuts, sees Lois stealing decorations (X) off his desk. He shoots A QUICK BLAST of HEAT RAY at Lois' (X) heel, causing it to SHEAR off in a SPARK. Lois tumbles headlong into her desk, catching herself but dropping all the Christmas trimmings. 21 MARTHA 21 gets a look on her face: pure shock, turning to pure anger. She marches out of Perry's office. Jonathan follows. 22 INT. PLANET - PIT - SAME TIME 22 MARTHA Clark Jerome Kent! You get right over here, now! (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 21. 22 CONTINUED: 22 CLARK What? What'd I do? MARTHA You know exactly what you did. She grabs him by the ear and hauls him toward the conference room. 23 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 23 Martha leads Clark inside, by the ear. Jonathan follows, closing the door behind him. MARTHA (very stern) I never spanked you, but right now, I'd like to drop your britches and tan your hide like cheap leather! JONATHAN Now, Martha... MARTHA Jonathan, he burned the heel off Lois' shoe. JONATHAN Is that true, son? CLARK Well, she... (rubs his head, as if in a fog) ... she stole my... something... took something or... JONATHAN I don't think he's quite himself. Neither's Lois or Perry... MARTHA Well, what in the world is going on? CLARK I don't know. The last I really remember clearly was being at the elevator and getting sprayed by one of the rats and suddenly wanting everything and feeling like... a little kid... CUT TO: --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 22. 24 EXT. - ALLEY - DAY 24 Down near the docks. A ROUGH-LOOKING GROUP of LONGSHOREMEN stand around a fire blazing in a trash can, warming themselves. Ms. Duffy and Schott walk up. The Longshoremen glare at them. MS. DUFFY If this is Step Two, then I'd have to say, I'm not very eager to see Step Three... The Longshoremen walk toward them. Slowly. Menacingly. SCHOTT Oh, show a little backbone, Ms. Duffy. She turns to go. MORE LONGSHOREMAN block the alley entrance. SCHOTT (CONT'D) I know what I'm doing. (to the Men) May I have your attention please? (he has it) Well, it's that holiday season again. And you're a bunch of unemployed longshoreman who'll no doubt be spending this Christmas Eve in a flea-bitten flop house. Alone, broke and -- if you're _very_ lucky -- smashed out of your mind on the cheapest alcohol known to man. How many of you would like to do something about that? Of the dozen Huge Men here, every single one raises his hand. And in some hands lead pipes, knives and grappling hooks. MS. DUFFY I, uhhhh, I don't mean to sound overly concerned but... I think we should do something. Schott whips out a fat wad of cash. MS. DUFFY (CONT'D) That's not what I had in mind. SCHOTT (to the assembled thugs) Anyone object to a fast easy way to get some of this? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 23. 24 CONTINUED: 24 MS. DUFFY Please, if we're going to commit suicide, couldn't we just do it some _normal_ way? SCHOTT (all thug hands drop) I see. All right, then. You have a choice. You could take _this_ money from me right now. Or do what I ask and get five times this amount by tomorrow morning. So. What's it going to be, gentlemen? 25 INT. PLANET PIT - DAY 25 Jimmy is sitting at his desk, writing on small pieces of paper. 26 CLOSE ON PAPER 26 Jimmy has written his name "Jimmy Olsen" on fifty small pieces of paper. 27 BACK TO SCENE 27 He drops the names into the SECRET SANTA BOWL. Then stands, laughing, and starts across the newsroom toward the elevators, carrying the bowl. JIMMY (singing to tune of 'Jolly Good Fellow') (X) For I'm a Merry Good Fellow, I'm a (X) Merry Good Fellow, and a Merry old (X) Christmas to me... (X) 28 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME 28 Perry picks up ringing phone. PERRY Lo? Hi, Alice, what's up? (blows gum bubble) No, I don't want to have some dumb, drippy, kissy-face Christmas. Yechhh. I want to go to Graceland. (beat) Hello? --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 23. 24 CONTINUED: 24 MS. DUFFY Please, if we're going to commit suicide, couldn't we just do it some _normal_ way? SCHOTT (all thug hands drop) I see. All right, then. You have a choice. You could take _this_ money from me right now. Or do what I ask and get five times this amount by tomorrow morning. So. what's it going to be, gentlemen? 25 INT. PLANET PIT - DAY 25 Jimmy is sitting at his desk, writing on small pieces of paper. 26 CLOSE ON PAPER 26 Jimmy has written his name "Jimmy Olsen" on fifty small pieces of paper. 27 BACK TO SCENE 27 He drops the names into the SECRET SANTA BOWL. Then stands, laughing, and starts across the newsroom toward the elevators, carrying the bowl. JIMMY (singing to tune of 'Jolly Good Fellow') For I'm a Merry Good Fellow, I'm a Merry Good Fellow, I'm a Merry (X) Good Fellow, and a Merry Old (X) Christmas to me... 28 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME 28 Perry picks up ringing phone. PERRY Lo? Hi, Alice, what's up? (blows gum bubble) Y'know, I don't want to have some (X) dumb, drippy, kissy-face Christmas. Yechhh. I want to go to Graceland. (beat) Hello? --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 24. 29 INT. PLANET PIT - SAME TIME 29 Clark and his parents exit the conference room. CLARK I think I'm fine now. Whatever it is, it wears off... He sees Lois at her desk, trying to talk Angela into playing cat's cradle with her. CLARK (CONT'D) ... probably faster on me than other people. You guys go ahead and finish your Christmas shopping. I think we're looking at a job for Superman. MARTHA Okay, sweetheart. I'm so glad I didn't have to spank you. CLARK Me, too, Mom. (X) He hugs his parents and they leave. Clark ducks into a back hall and -- 29A ON LOIS 29A playing her cat's cradle with Angela as she hears the WHOOSH, looks up and there's Superman. LOIS Oh, wow, oh, cool! Superman! (holds out cradle) Wanna play? He looks at the goo on her hands. SUPERMAN Uh, sure... He glances into Perry's office and sees him alone in there, with the Rats. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) One sec. He goes into -- 29B INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - DAY 29B Perry is playing 50's music, blowing babbles and making his Rats dance. Superman comes in. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 25. 19B CONTINUED: 29B PERRY Superman... you're not here to take away my Rats, are you? Superman nods relucantly. PERRY (CONT'D) What a gyp. 29C INT. PLANET PIT - DAY 29C Rats in hand, Superman moves to Lois. SUPERMAN Lois, I think we ought to wash your hands. LOIS What? Clark thinks of another way. SUPERMAN I mean... want these Rats? He holds them up. Lois almost leaps with happiness. LOIS Oh! Goodie! More Space Rats! He leads her to the elevator, using the Rats as bait. CUT TO: 29D INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - DAY 29D Lois comes out of the bathroom in her robe, looking sick. (X) Then there's a KNOCK at the door. Lois opens it and (X) there's Clark, with an icepack on his head, pretending to be sick. LOIS Hi, you too? (X) He nods. LOIS (CONT'D) I think Superman brought me back. (X) You too? CLARK (nods) (X) You feel okay? (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 26. 29D CONTINUED: 29D LOIS (shakes head) You? (shakes head) CLARK (shakes head) But I dug up a clue anyway. Harry Hecklebaum. LOIS Come again? CLARK (unfurls report) The one and only distributor of Rats. (X) LOIS I'll get dressed. She goes to the bedroom. Clark removes the ice-pack from his head, tosses it playfully behind his back and into the (X) trash. (X) CUT TO: 29E INT. HECKLEBAUM'S OFFICE - DAY 29E PHONES ARE RINGING like crazy, and we see HARRY HECKLEBAUM, a loud, obnoxious man, at his desk, going nuts, selling selling selling. Behind him are stacks and stacks of Space Rat boxes. HARRY (answer phone) What! Ohhh, you have no other toys? All stolen? My price just doubled! Hey, you don't want 'em, you don't have to buy 'em. See you in bankruptcy court, pal! The door to his office opens, Lois and Clark enter. LOIS Mr. Hecklebaum? I'm Lois Lane, and this is Clark Kent from the Daily Planet. We're investigating a story on the Atomic Space Rats... HARRY (hits intercom) JoAnn, hold all my calls. (to Lois, suspicious) You want to write a story on me? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 27. 29E CONTINUED: 29E CLARK Actually, we were wondering who makes these rats. HARRY Ha! Lame! You _should_ have said you were gonna write a story on me. I might have talked! Do you know how much money I'm making here? You think I'd tell you who's making these? Am I stupid? Don't let the door hit your butt on the way out! No, wait, I'm sorry... (they stop) ...on second thought, _let_ it, what do I care? Hecklebaum laughs and picks up his phone. HARRY (CONT'D) JoAnn, how many calls did I get in the last twenty seconds? Five? What's the problem here? Are we slowing down? LOIS Surrounded day and night by them, no wonder he's such a nut job. (spies something) Hey, an invoice, see it there? Clark nods. LOIS (CONT'D) Me, distract. You, grab. Go. Suddenly, Lois darts across the room, ripping open a box, and pulling out a rat. LOIS (CONT'D) I want, I want, I want! Harry drops his phone and lunges for Lois, struggling with her over the rat. HARRY No, no, no! She gets sprayed. In the confusion, Clark steps over to the desk, grabs the paper. Harry finally wrestles the rat from Lois. Lois goes nuts and leaps for the rat. Clark has to drag her out. CUT TO: --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 28. 29F EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF HECKLEBAUM'S - DAY 29F Clark drags Lois outside. She suddenly becomes composed. LOIS Okay, you can let go now. CLARK You all right? LOIS I was holding my breath. Got the invoice? CLARK Maker of rats: W.P. Schott. No address, no phone number, just a PO box. So... LOIS Background check. As they start back for the Planet -- LOIS (CONT'D) Clark, did you have any Christmas plans? CLARK Yeah, I'm flying back with my (X) folks tonight. Christmas is (X) always the biggest party in (X) Smallville. (X) LOIS I was just having a few people over... and I thought you might like to come. CLARK Well -- LOIS But I don't want you to change your plans, you should be with your family. (X) CUT TO: 30 OMITTED 30 31 INT. SEVERAL TOY STORES - CLOSE SHOTS - NIGHT #2 31 A DOOR in Farmingdale's opens and the Longshoreman-Thugs (X) come in with boxes full of Rats. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 29. 31 CONTINUED: 31 They push other toys back and set the Rats up in front of them. HANDS put more Rats on shelves. HANDS push other toys out of sight. HANDS put Rats in window. HANDS put up ads: NEW SHIPMENT OF RATS! CUT TO: 32 INT. SCHOTT'S LAIR - NIGHT 32 Schott stands, surrounded by More Space Rats as they're taken out by the Thugs. SCHOTT Step Three, Ms. Duffy. MS. DUFFY Mr. Schott, this is hard for me to say but... I'm not sure I can be a part of this anymore. You used to love children so much, you were so wonderful to them. SCHOTT I'm still wonderful to them. I'm giving them not only what they want but what they _deserve_. And it's only temporary, no lasting side effects. MS. DUFFY I just think it's... it seems so... well... SCHOTT Ms. Duffy, did you know I used to watch you every night when you left the office? MS. DUFFY (thrilled and expectant) You did? Really? (patting her hair) I... well, that's very... I... SCHOTT I remember you going to the bus stop. It always made me sad, you seemed so tired and cold... (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 30. 32 CONTINUED: 32 He leads her around a stack of boxes. A gleaming new car (X) sits there. Ms. Duffy is stunned. SCHOTT (CONT'D) For you, Ms. Duffy. The first profits from the Space Rats. MS. DUFFY Mr. Schott, I... I... oh, my, it's very... shiny. SCHOTT And this. He gives her a beautiful fur coat. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Man made, of course. We don't want to hurt the little creatures. He drapes the coat over her. She luxuriates in its softness. SCHOTT (CONT'D) There are some advantages to striking back, Ms. Duffy. And after all, what are we really doing? We're not foisting something on the public they don't want, are we? MS. DUFFY Well, I suppose not... SCHOTT And if in the meantime, people become the scabrous, obtuse, jealous, greedy, nasty bunch of pre-pubescents they really are anyway, well then, all the better then, hm? Before she can answer, fie dangles a gorgeous diamond (X) necklace before her. She gasps. He clips them around her (X) neck. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Merry Christmas, Ms. Duffy. And as he laughs a huge, ECHOING laugh -- CUT TO: --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 31. 33 INT. SERIES OF SHOTS OF TOY STORES - NIGHT 33 BOXES OF RATS on the shelves. RATS in the windows. RATS, RATS, RATS, as the sound of Schott's laugh BUILDS... 33A EXT. TOY STORE - NIGHT 33A Rats on display in the big window with a sign. We hear two MALE VOICES, just O.S.: VOICE 1 Gimme that 1 VOICE 2 No, you gimme it! They come onto screen, struggling over a Rat -- a SALVATION (X) ARMY WORKER and a SANTA CLAUS, fighting like little kids as (X) Schott's laugh reaches its CRESCENDO. FADE OUT. _END OF ACT TWO_ --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 32. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 34 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE PLANET - NIGHT 34 Lois and Clark emerge and walk. LOIS Well, looks like there's nothing we can do till the reports come in on Schott and the Rats. (woozy) Good thing; I'm not quite a hundred percent yet. HOW about you? CLARK Oh, yeah, I... feel kind of weird, too. LOIS I guess the only one who's immune to this is Superman. CLARK You would think. They pass a SMALL LOT OF CHRISTMAS TREES. Lois stops. LOIS Did you get your tree yet? CLARK Yeah. You? LOIS (head shake) I always have trouble deciding. See, I like the big, pretty ones but I feel so sorry for the little scrawny ones. I remember when I was twelve... my folks had just split up and didn't bother to get a tree. So I broke open my piggy bank, went out and bought the ugliest, loneliest looking little tree I could find. And I said to myself, 'If I can make this tree beautiful, then I can have a great Christmas... even if it's by myself.' So I put it in my room and decorated it with ribbons and popcorn and tin foil. CLARK And...? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 33. 34 CONTINUED: 34 LOIS And... all the needles fell off, it turned black and my Mom threw it out. (with determination) But I'm not a kid anymore and I'm going to get a great tree and have a great Christmas... right? CLARK That's the spirit. (X) 34A INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 34A The door opens and Lois and Clark enter. He's carrying her tree -- a scrawny, pathetic little dwarf. LOIS I just couldn't leave it sitting there all alone... CLARK I understand. LOIS You don't think it's ugly? CLARK (sets it down) I think it has... lots of potential. She hangs small ornament on a branch. The branch droops, the ornament slides off and SHATTERS. 35 35 THRU OMITTED THRU 38 38 39 INT. PLANET - PIT - DAY #3 39 A News Anchor with a photo of a rat on the chroma-key behind him: NEWS ANCHOR Well, those Space Rats are getting hotter by the second. Footage of nondescript riot plays over his shoulder. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 34. 39 CONTINUED: 39 NEWS ANCHOR If this keeps up, those rats could end up being tradeable commodities. Right, Chet? WEATHERMAN (cheerfully) They're pretty neat. NEWS ANCHOR So Chet, we going to have a white Christmas this year? WEATHERMAN Well, I'm not going to tell you... NEWS ANCHOR Pardon? WEATHERMAN ... unless I get a big raise. (lifts his Rat up) And some more Rats. REVEAL Clark watching TV, while Lois is at her desk, on the (X) phone, writing down information as she hears it. LOIS Thanks, Prof. Hamilton. (to Clark) That yellow goo inside the rats is a highly sophisticated psychotropic mind-altering drug. And here's the weird part -- boil it and it becomes a completely harmless solution, low in sodium, high in Vitamin C. 39A OMITTED 39A 39B RESUME SCENE 39B Jimmy is at the Secret Santa station, swallowing aspirin and rubbing his head. ANGELA Jimmy Olsen, I'm your Secret Santa. Jimmy looks up to find Angela standing before him -- a vision of loveliness. She has a small gift in her hand. She gives it to Jimmy. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 35. 39B CONTINUED: 39B JIMMY Wow... PERRY (approaching; looking ill) Jimmy, I'm your Secret Santa. Suddenly, other people arrive with gifts. And more and more and more. We hear, "I'm your Secret Santa" over and over. Angela realizes. ANGELA You rigged the Secret Santa. (X) Mister I'm-In-Charge-Of-it. What (X) a jerk. She walks off. JIMMY Angela, wait! ANGELA Stay away from me! She storms off. Jimmy tries to chase her, but Perry pushes him back in his seat. PERRY Let her go, son. She'll just take your heart, rip it outta your chest and every plea you make to come back'll be Returned To Sender. Address Unknown. JIMMY Still can't find Alice? PERRY (shakes his head as he swallows aspirin) She left me a message, saying she's gone.. we were going to spend Christmas together, I was gonna wear my Santa suit, and... (catches himself) Lord, I feel rode hard and put away wet. I can't remember what I did... it's all kind of a haze... Lois and Clark say it's those ugly little rats but we can't prove anything yet, so even if I could find her, it'd sound like kind of a flimsy excuse. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 36. 39B CONTINUED: 2 39B JIMMY (looking off at Angela) Yeah. Lois enters scene. LOIS (crossing past) Well, you're both invited to my Christmas Eve dinner tonight. PERRY Guess it beats the soup kitchen... LOIS Oh, now, don't go getting your hopes so high, Chief. 40 AT THE ELEVATORS 40 Santa from the orphanage enters. By the hand, he leads the little mute girl, Danielle, down the steps. Clark is on the phone: CLARK That's right. Hecklebaum. STAR Labs is faxing their report. He should be arrested immediately and those Rats should be taken off every toy shelf. (cradles phone, looks up) Santa... Santa stops. CLARK (CONT'D) Sorry, I don't know what else to (X) call you. SANTA Santa is fine. This is Danielle, (X) one of our kids. She's been (X) helping me with collections. We (X) just came in to say 'hi' and warm (X) up before we headed back. (X) Clark bends down and smiles. CLARK Hi, it's nice to meet you. (as Lois enters frame) This is my friend, Lois. Lois, Danielle. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 37. 40 CONTINUED: 40 LOIS Hi. She makes a little wave. Lois glances at Santa. (X) SANTA She hasn't spoken since her (X) parents... well , for the last (X) three years. But she's excited about Christmas, right Danielle? She nods. Lois plucks the cat's cradle off her desk, loops it around her fingers and offers it to Danielle. As Clark and Santa talk, they play: CLARK I've talked to the toy stores and they're going to donate all they can. We'll try and get everything (X) there by tonight. (X) SANTA Tell your flying friend I really appreciate it. (pulls Danielle) Come on, Danielle. We have to go now. LOIS (re: the string) You keep it, sweetie. Santa pulls Danielle toward the elevators. Lois and Clark wave. LOIS (CONT'D) What a darling girl. I wonder if she'll ever be able to talk? Jimmy comes up, holding papers in his hand. A computerized picture of Schott is on top. JIMMY Your report on Schott. LOIS (scans report) Interesting... Used to be a chemist. CLARK That explains a few volumes. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 37A. 40 CONTINUED: 2 40 LOIS Jimmy, is there a last known address? (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 38. 40 CONTINUED: 2 40 JIMMY Not for him, but I dug and found out he worked for a toy company; got fired last year along with his secretary. About a month ago... (hands her slip) ...a warehouse was rented in her name. LOIS Good work. Let's go, partner! CLARK (in motion with Lois) Jimmy, can you call my folks and tell them to go on ahead to Smallville, I'll catch a later flight! CUT TO: 41 OMITTED 41 42 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF THE PLANET - DAY 42 Lois and Clark push out the revolving doors. The chill wind is blowing fiercely. LOIS What a day for the car to be in (X) the shop. (two fingered whistle) TAX-EEEEE! It pulls to a stop, and Lois and Clark get in. CUT TO: 43 INT. SCHOTT'S LAIR - DAY 43 Schott POPS the cork on a bottle of champagne and pours into two glasses. Hands one to Ms. Duffy, who is wearing her diamonds, along with a new dress. (X) SCHOTT What shall we toast to, Ms. Duffy? MS. DUFFY Well... I suppose we could... no, that would be... well, we might... (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 39. 43 CONTINUED: 43 SCHOTT Ms. Duffy, you're waffling again. (sweetly) It's unseemly for a woman wearing a fifty thousand dollar necklace to (X) waffle. MS. DUFFY Maybe we could drink... to us? He looks at her, not quite sure how to take this. She gazes at him equally unsure. The look is held. Schott seems to get a little flustered. SCHOTT Yes. To us. To... to our many years together. You're a very fine... (pause) ... woman. MS. DUFFY Am I? He is about to answer when a TV on a shelf catches his eye and on it -- 44 NEWS VIDEO SHOT OF HECKLEBAUM - IN OFFICE 44 as he's pulled up from his desk by police, struggling the entire way. HARRY Let me go! No! Owww! I want my rats! I need my rats! NEWS ANCHOR (V.O.) The Atomic Space Rats, the toy sensation of this year's Christmas, is not such a sensation after all. Police say that the rats contain a mind-altering drug that causes extreme but temporary behavioral changes when inhaled... (looks O.S., re: a grumbling VOICE) No, Chet, you're not getting a raise! 45 SCHOTT AND MS. DUFFY 45 react, stunned. The champagne glass slips out of Schott's hand and SHATTERS on the floor. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 40. 45 CONTINUED: 45 MS. DUFFY Oh, my. Mr. Schott ... ? Schott charges over to the bubbling vat of goo and clips a clothespin on his nose. SCHOTT Help me get the chemical into the truck. (X) She just stands there, shaken. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Ms. Duffy! I said, I need your help! MS. DUFFY What... what are you going to do? SCHOTT Our little toy enterprise may be coming to an end, Ms. Duffy, but the game isn't over. Metropolis still has lessons to learn -- and _we're_ still the teachers. CUT TO: 46 EXT. PARK NEAR ORPHANAGE - DAY 46 A horse-drawn carriage festooned with boughs of holly and filled with a HAPPY FAMILY JINGLES and CLOMPS by for a snowy ride through the park. Lois and Clark's cab pulls up. In the front window, WE SEE Lois and Clark get out of the cab, Lois fuming at the Driver and his Rat: LOIS Two hundred dollars for a ten block cab ride! CLARK Lois, calm down... LOIS Look, I know you're not in your right mind. So here's twenty and some advice -- throw the rat away! The Driver just CACKLES, grabs her cash and speeds off. Clark gazes after the cab and his eye is caught by the sight of a Woman in the orphanage courtyard. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 41. 46 CONTINUED: 46 She's handing out Teddy Bears to the kids and as she turns toward us, we see it's Ms. Duffy. LOIS (CONT'D) Clark, you know what'd make my Christmas Merry? CLARK What? LOIS Winslow P. Schott -- bagged and (X) tagged. CLARK (heading off with her) Let's do it. (X) CUT TO: 47 EXT. RESERVOIR - DAY 47 Schott, working alone, has pulled a big chemical truck up to the back of the reservoir. A cheesy YELLOW Goo is being pumped out, into the water. WE REVEAL a sign that reads: METROPOLIS RESERVOIR. SCHOTT Merry Christmas, Metropolis. FADE OUT. _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 42. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 48 INT. SCHOTT'S LAIR - DAY 48 We hear a CRUNCH and see a HUGE STEEL LocK SNAP off a door. Clark has just shoved the door open. Lois looks at the bent lock, then him. CLARK Must've been rusted through. She flips on a light, revealing all the toys and the Space Rats, aisles and aisles of them, as far as the eye can see. They smell the goo and go to the vat -- it's empty. CLARK (CONT'D) Uh-oh. I've got a bad feeling. LOIS Where's our Toyman and his nasty goo? CLARK I don't know... but it looks like he just got the 'Dear John.' He refers to a note sitting in the lap of one of Schott's Teddy Bears. Nearby, her diamonds, coat and car keys on a (X) table. (X) LOIS 'Dear Mr. Schott, I cannot go on participating in this. I have gone to give the last _good_ thing you (X) made for the world to some deserving children. Ms. Duffy.' Clark looks at the Teddy Bear -- and remembers: CLARK The orphanage. At that moment, Schott comes in with a box. SCHOTT Ms. Duffy? He doesn't see Lois and Clark yet. He opens the box, revealing a diamond tiara. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Ms. Duffy, I have a surprise. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 43. 48 CONTINUED: 48 He sees them. LOIS So do we. You're busted. Merry Christmas. CLARK What have you done with the chemicals? SCHOTT Who are you? What have you done with Ms. Duffy? CLARK Nothing -- SCHOTT (rushes Clark) If you hurt her, I'll -- CLARK She left you. Shows him note. Schott is stunned. SCHOTT She... she left me? But she never... we've been together twenty years. I have to see her. (X) CLARK I know where she is. Tell us what you did with the chemical and we'll take you to her. LOIS You might want to say a last goodbye before you go to jail. 49 49 THRU OMITTED THRU 50 50 51 EXT. ORPHANAGE - DAY 51 Ms. Duffy exits the orphanage with empty bags and no more bears. A disappointed FEW KIDS trail behind her, among (X) them Danielle, and the Orphanage Santa (now out of uniform (X) and just a Worker again). (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 44. 51 CONTINUED: 51 MS. DUFFY I'm sorry, I don't have anymore bears... WORKER It's all right, we appreciate this. Danielle peers across the streets and sees -- (X) Lois (holding a bear) Clark and Schott, in the park, about to cross the street. She walks out of the courtyard. 51A WITH LOIS, SCHOTT AND CLARK - IN PARK 51A across from the orphanage. SCHOTT What do you have that stupid bear for? LOIS I don't know, I just didn't feel like letting go of it... They pass THREE OLD LADIES, fighting over a Rat. Schott (X) smiles. SCHOTT Well, most people still can't let go of the Rats. Clark sees the Old Lady altercation is getting serious. He steps in. CLARK Ladies, I promise you, this Rat isn't worth it. He hands the Rat to Lois, then gets WHACKED with canes. (X) Lois and Schott moves to cross the street 51B DANIELLE 51B sees the bear and rat in Lois' arms and goes running out of the courtyard -- 52 INTO THE STREET 52 heading for Schott and Lois without looking and -- --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 45. 53 THE HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE 53 THUNDERS around the corner at a full gallop, heading right for her. She stumbles in its path. 54 SCHOTT 54 sees this -- SCHOTT Look out! -- and runs for Danielle, grabs her -- but slips. They're about to be trampled. 55 TIGHT ON LOIS' FACE 55 as she registers the horror of this. LOIS No! 56 SUPERMAN 56 streaks in and SCOOPS man and child out of harm's way as the horses GALLOP past. He sets them down on the sidewalk. Lois, Ms. Duffy and the Worker run up. LOIS (to Danielle) Are you all right? WORKER Danielle... ? The little girl nods her head. WORKER (CONT'D) She's fine. MS. DUFFY Mr. Schott, are you -- ? (X) SCHOTT Yes, yes, I'm fine... Thank you, Superman. SUPERMAN For somebody who doesn't like children much, you took a big risk. MS. DUFFY No, Superman, you don't understand... he loves children. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 46. 56 CONTINUED: 56 SCHOTT I... I wasn't thinking; ..I just saw her there... I can't imagine why she'd run out in the street like that... Danielle moves to Schott's two toys in Lois' arms. SCHOTT (CONT'D) Ah, I should've known. The rat. Greedy. Just like everyone el -- But she reaches right past the ugly Rat and takes the Bear. Everyone watches silently as she pulls the string. TEDDY BEAR Merry Christmas. I love you. DANIELLE (hesitantly) M-Merry... Christmas to you... Mr. B-Bear. Lois and Superman are stunned. WORKER She... she... (excited) Did you hear... did you hear it? Danielle! (hugs her) She hasn't said a word since I've known her! It's a miracle. DANIELLE (kissing the bear) I love _you_. LOIS I guess there's a little bit more to people than just greed, Mr. Schott. Danielle smiles up at Schott. DANIELLE Is this your bear, Mister? Schott is stunned near-tears by the girl's words. Ms. Duffy moves close to him. MS. DUFFY He made it. Danielle starts to hand the bear to Schott. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 47. 56 CONTINUED: 2 56 SCHOTT I... I made it for _you_. She crooks her finger, asking him to bend over. He does. She kisses him on the cheek. DANIELLE Thank you. LOIS Where's Clark? (X) SUPERMAN He, uh, took a pretty serious hit (X) from those old ladies... (X) MS. DUFFY (to Superman) Mr. Schott's a good man, he really (X) is -- but he was so hurt when the children said they didn't like his toys. (X) SCHOTT Superman, I... I'm sorry... I'm so ashamed... SUPERMAN Just tell me what you did with the chemicals. CUT TO: 57 EXT. METROPOLIS SKY - DAY 57 Superman FLIES through the air. 58 EXT. OVER THE RESERVOIR - DAY 58 With his HEAT VISION, he BLASTS the water to the boiling point. CUT TO: 59 59 THRU OMITTED THRU 60 60 --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 47A. 61 EXT. METROPOLIS SKIES - NIGHT 61 We HEAR the familiar SLEIGH BELLS ringing, but we find (X) TAMBOURINES, in Lois and Jimmy's hands, dressed as elves. (X) Perry is dressed as a jolly Santa, driving a SLEIGH filled (X) with toys FLYING THROUGH THE AIR. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Pink Rev. 10/28/94 48. 61 CONTINUED: 61 Jimmy and Lois sit on either side of him. Lois is having a great time but Jimmy looks out and down, a little panicked. And we find, not reindeer pulling his sleigh, but -- SUPERMAN. Perry smiles, loving every second of this exhilarating rush, and he trumpets the familiar laugh... PERRY Ho, ho, ho! Mer-ry Christmas! CUT TO: 62 EXT. COATES ORPHANAGE - NIGHT 62(X) Two COPS are about to arrest Ms. Duffy and Schott, who (X) stand with the Worker and nine or ten orphans. (X) SCHOTT Please, can we just spend a little more time with the children ... ? MS. DUFFY Officer, it would mean so much to (X) us... The kids all CLAP and CHATTER they want them to stay. (X) Then, from above, the sound of the tambourine and the (X) ho-ho-ho. Everyone looks up in wonder at -- 63 SUPERMAN PULLING THE SLEIGH 63 with Perry, Jimmy and Lois. They fly right across the full moon, then -- WIPE TO: (X) 64 EXT. ORPHANAGE - LATER 64 Perry smiles and laughs, handing out presents as fast as (X) his hands can give them away. Superman, Jimmy and Lois step in to lend a hand. (X) SUPERMAN Officer, do you mind if Mr. Schott and Ms. Duffy give us a hand? We'll make sure they make it to the station for questioning. The Cops just shrug and let Duffy and Schott walk over to help hand out presents. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/31/94 49. 64 CONTINUED: 64 They both beam as the kids take the toys. Lois looks at Superman. LOIS I told myself I was going to have (X) a real Christmas... one I'd find for myself... SUPERMAN And? LOIS And I have. He looks at her, smiles. They are nose to nose now. Lois leans forward and kisses him. LOIS (CONT'D) Merry Christmas, Superman. SUPERMAN Merry Christmas, Lois. As they part, Perry White and Jimmy are staring at them. Gift bags empty, their work here done. PERRY Man. I am lonesome tonight. JIMMY Tell me about it. PERRY Superman, Alice is at a hotel downtown, and I gotta see her, _now_. Superman smiles. SUPERMAN I understand. Why don't you hop back in the sleigh and I'll give you a big entrance. Perry can't leap into the seat fast enough. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 50. 64 CONTINUED: 2 64 PERRY Lois, I'm sorry I'm gonna miss your dinner, darlin'. SUPERMAN So am I. LOIS I understand. (to Perry) (X) A big holiday for you. (X) (to Superman) (X) And no holidays for you. (X) PERRY All righty, Superman, giddeee-up! ON LOIS AND JIMMY'S FACES as we hear the O.S. WHOOSH PERRY (O.S.) Yeeeeee-ha! -- and JINGLE of the take off. JIMMY So, what time's dinner? LOIS You're not coming. JIMMY I'm not? She shakes her head and points to -- Angela, who walks through the gates into the courtyard. She looks at Jimmy and smiles. He smiles back. LOIS I explained you weren't quite yourself before. She's a very understanding girl. Hang onto her, they're rare. (kisses his cheek) Merry Christmas. Jimmy gives her a big hug, then moves off to Angela. The kids come up to Lois with their toys, chattering and showing them off. She looks across the courtyard at Schott and Ms. Duffy. While Schott is busy putting a toy together for a child, Ms. Duffy fixes a bit of mistletoe to a the fence over his head. Then spritzes some breath spray into her mouth and taps her shoulder. He turns. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 50A. 64 CONTINUED: 3 64 And she launches herself at him in the biggest, longest kiss in the history of eight o'clock Sunday night TV. Startled, Schott pulls back. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 51. 64 CONTINUED: 4 64 SCHOTT Ms... Duffy? MS. DUFFY My name... is Margaret. And what I want this Christmas is _you_. Schott just stares, then launches into a kiss. She swoons back in his arms. The Kids all hide their faces and go, "Eeeeeeeuuuuhhhhwwwww!" CUT TO: 65 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 65 MOVING CLOSE DOWN table covered in white linen, silver, china and candles. Heaping mounds of food. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberries. Soft, romantic Christmas (X) MUSIC on the stereo. (X) REVEAL Lois has prepared an incredible feast, several courses and decorated the table exquisitely... for no one. She is alone. She looks at her watch. Tears start to well up in her eyes and her bottom lip bulges out, quivering as she fights the realization that nobody has shown up. LOIS No, not this year, this year is different, this year I get it... and I'm not going to lose it. She is about to cry, then hears a familiar WHOOSH through the window and -- Lois turns to the window to find -- Nothing... only the drapes blowing in the breeze. She takes a deep breath, trying to hold it together, and there's a KNOCK at the door. Puzzled, she goes to the door, opens it, to find Clark standing there, smiling. LOIS Clark... She throws her arms around him, hugs him deeply. LOIS (CONT'D) You came! (X) She stops hugging him, closes the door. (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 52. 65 CONTINUED: 65 LOIS (CONT'D) What about Smallville? Your folks? CLARK Uh... my plane got snowed in. LOIS But it's not sn.... She stops herself. Looks out the window. It's not snowing. She smiles and so does he. CLARK (CONT'D) Well, I'm sure it _will_. LOIS Oh, you are just the best. And you are going to get stuffed. I went all out. Turkey, cranberries, potatoes, stuffing... Hey, did you know you have to make stuffing? It doesn't just come on the side? CLARK I think I heard that someplace. I have a present for you. (lifts a box) You might want to open it. (X) As she does -- CLARK (CONT'D) I told Superman your story about (X) the tree when you were twelve... He crosses to her little tree, all done up, but still looking a little droopy and brown. CLARK (CONT'D) ...and we thought this might look (X) good on this little guy. (X) She removes a beautiful, glowing, star-shaped crystal from the box. And is dazzled. LOIS It's beautiful. I've never seen (X) anything like it. Where... ? (X) Clark gestures skyward. (X) LOIS (CONT'D) Oh. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- SEASON'S GREEDINGS (#9) Green Rev. 11/1/94 53. 65 CONTINUED: 2 65 Lois places it on top of her tree. It glows beautifully (X) and if it doesn't make the little tree spectacular, it sure makes it look better. LOIS I love it. They stand looking at the tree. Her hand slips warmly into (X) his. He looks down at their intertwined fingers, then at (X) her. Their eyes meet. A beat. The MUSIC stops. Silence. (X) They don't look away. Move just a hair closer to one (X) another. Then (X) The sound of CHRISTMAS CAROLERS wafts inside, breaking the (X) mood. (X) LOIS (CONT'D) Carolers. (X) CLARK Yes. (X) They move to the window and look down-at the street below. 66 THEIR POV 66 A group of CAROLERS singing in the street, looking up at -- 67 LOIS AND CLARK 67 who are smiling. Lois looks up at the sky. (X) LOIS I wonder where Superman spends his Christmas? Before Clark can say anything, in the darkness, the faint SOUND of SLEIGH BELLS RINGING. Clark hears it first and a curious look crosses his face. Then Lois hears it. LOIS Oh. He must still be pulling (X) Perry around on the sleigh. Clark looks at her, confused... then smiles, and we PULL BACK -- Lois and Clark at the window, just as SNOW starts FALLING, the Carolers singing, sleigh bells ringing and in the distance, a far off voice echoes through the night... VOICE (O.S.) Mer-ry Christmas, ho, ho, ho! FADE OUT. _THE END_