notes: To pop everything into place... set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) (I had to tell the program that my primitive printer was using legal-size paper) Notes: Cover: "THE PRANKSTER" (and) Written by Grant Rosenberg Directed are in larger, bold font; WARNER BROS. TELEVISION is in an arial-type font; the rest of the document is in Courier 10 (or nonproportional ten- characters-per inch font) notes: On page 3: Pavoratti then on page 5L Pavarotti - I don't know which is correct Page 11, second paragraph, typos in original: stopping next to the sneakers. A beat, then one boots comes up os brought down hard onto Victor's foot. Page 17, 1st paragraph for #17, "turck" spelled wrong in original Page 21, scene 27, "terrifed" is spelled incorrectly in original Page 48, mid page, Perry says: "I thought you'd have somthing on" "something" is spelled incorrectly in original --page break-- (logo; see logo.bmp or logo.jpg) "THE PRANKSTER" EPISODE FOUR Prod. #456454 Written by Grant Rosenberg WARNER BROS. TELEVISION _Production Draft_ August 24, --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_The Prankster_" _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE PERRY WHITE JIMMY OLSEN ______________________________________________________________ KYLE GRIFFIN VICTOR PETE RANDALL LOOMIS MRS. LOOMIS NICK DARBY EDWIN GRIFFIN STORE OWNER PLANT MANAGER MESSENGER MRS. LANE FEMALE STAFFER --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_The Prankster_" _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Industrial Park Newsroom Perry's Office Metropolis Street Museum Whitmore Labs Party Room Adjoining Room Run Down Hotel Jewelry Store Processing Plant Griffin's Warehouse Loomis House Whitmore Labs Planet Car Lois' Apartment Clark's Apartment Toy Store Hotel Room Processing Plant Planet Car Griffin's Van Back of Truck --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_The Prankster_" _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 6 NIGHT 1 SC. 7 - 30 DAY 2 SC. 31 NIGHT 2 SC. 32 - 55 DAY 3 SC. 56 - 67 NIGHT 3 SC. 68 - 90 DAY 4 SC. 91 DAY 5 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "The Prankster" _TEASER_ FADE IN: 1 INT. MUSEUM - NIGHT #1 1 A cocktail party is in progress in the "Painters of the 20th Century" Room. A banner announces the opening of the new modern art wing. Large modern paintings hang on the walls. Dozens of attractive women in gowns accompany man in tuxedos. Waiters serve champagne off silver trays. LOIS, CLARK, PERRY and JIMMY are studying one of the more abstract paintings. The brass plaque under the painting reads "Mother and Daughter." CLARK I don't see a mother or a daughter. JIMMY You ask me, it looks like he dropped paint balloons off his roof. LOIS You have to use your imagination when you look at modern art. Open your mind to the artist's inner feelings. Clark, Jimmy and Perry stare at the painting a moment. PERRY Hey, wait a minute. If you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the right, you can make out Elvis' profile. Jimmy tries it. JIMMY Maybe the fat Elvis. LOIS Why do I even try? Great art to you guys are those prints of poker playing dogs. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 PERRY (to Jimmy) Say, I love those. You ever seen the one with the dogs in a bar throwing darts? Lois rolls her eyes. They're hopeless. A MESSENGER enters with a beautifully wrapped box and approaches Lois. MESSENGER Lois Lane? LOIS Yes? MESSENGER This is for you. Lois and the others are a mix of confusion and surprise. She takes it from the messenger who exits. Several nearby members of the party look on with interest. JIMMY Who's it from? LOIS I have no idea. As she opens the card, a WAITER in the background eyes Lois, a sly smile on his lips. CLARK What does it say? LOIS (reading with confusion) 'Dear Lois. Please forgive me, but my feelings for you run deep and I'm too shy to tell you in person.' Clark, Perry and Jimmy exchange looks of surprise. LOIS (CONT'D) 'But I want the world to know that whenever I think of you, my heart sings. Your secret admirer.' She looks at Clark questioning. CLARK Don't look at me. I know how much you hate surprises. LOIS This is embarrassing. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 3. 1 CONTINUED: 1 JIMMY C'mon, open it. A beat, then Lois tears off the wrapping paper to expose a large, colorfully painted WOODEN BOX. There's a button on it that says "Push." LOIS Wow. It's beautiful. PERRY Whoever he is, the fella's got style. Push the button. Lois hesitates a moment, then places the box on a nearby table and pushes the button. Suddenly, a large JACK-IN-THE- BOX springs out. The face bears a strong resemblance to Pavarotti. Our heroes and a group of onlookers are momentarily startled, then exhale a collective sigh, followed by a smattering of laughter. PERRY That's the damndest thing I ever saw. Just then, the eyes of the Jack open. The crowd "ohs." A moment later, the Jack's mouth opens and it begins to SING an operatic aria. The crowd loves it. JIMMY Hey, that's pretty cool. 2 ON WAITER 2 casually putting in a pair of EAR PLUGS. 3 RESUME SCENE 3 As the JACK-IN-THE-BOX comes to a dramatic crescendo in the aria, it hits a high note, and holds it. The VOLUME gets LOUDER and the note gets higher in pitch until the sound is EAR PIERCING. Everyone holds their ears. PERRY What in the Sam Hill... ?! Suddenly, champagne glasses begin to SHATTER and security ALARMS go off, their WAILING adding to the assault of sound. The crowd begins retreating as the unbearable noise continues. Clark's in no pain, but holds his ears for show. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 4. 3 CONTINUED: 3 CLARK (shouting to Lois) Either it's broken or your admirer has a warped sense of humor! 4 ANGLE ON AN ADJOINING ROOM OF THE MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS 4 The noise wreaks havoc throughout the museum, as GLASS CASES everywhere start SHATTERING. The waiter and the messenger stand in the shadows of the "Rare Gems" exhibit. After a Guard rushes by, the two men quickly move to a broken case. The messenger acts as lookout as the waiter reaches into the case and removes a large diamond. He pulls an identical looking stone from his pocket and-places it in the case. 5 RESUME PARTY ROOM 5 Bedlam. Partygoers crowd around the exits trying to get out of the room. Clark tips down his glasses and looks inside the Jack-in-the-Box with his X-RAY VISION. A moment later, he activates his HEAT VISION and the Jack-in-the-Box's internal mechanism burns out. As the Jack winds down... 6 ON LOIS, CLARK, PERRY AND JIMMY 6 as they uncover their ears, trying to shake the sound out of their heads. PERRY (to Lois) Well, your friend sure knows how to clear a room. CLARK I'd hate to think what this guy would have sent if he _didn't_ like you. As a very unhappy Lois looks over at the now silent Jack, who continues to taunt her with his smiling face, we... FADE OUT. _END OF TEASER_ --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 5. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 7 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY #2 7 Lois exit the elevator. As she heads for the ramp, a rumpled, middle aged sports reporter, PETE, stops her. PETE Hey. I heard about the Pavoratti serenade. Stuff like that makes me glad I'm not single anymore. LOIS I'm sure it was an accident. Probably just something wrong with the wiring. PETE Y'know it reminds me of this ballplayer I knew, met a girl on the road. She went nuts for him. When he didn't return her calls, she slipped a scorpion into his catcher's mitt. Never caught another game. LOIS Thanks Pete. It's always a joy talking to you. She turns and heads into the bullpen, where Clark meets her. LOIS (CONT'D) Morning. Did the lab call? As Jimmy approaches... CLARK Yeah. Unfortunately the wiring in that box was so badly melted, they couldn't tell anything. JIMMY So you got any idea who Romeo is? LOIS I can't think of anyone who likes me enough to send... I mean... uh... no. I'm still working on it. Lois plops down at her desk as an unhappy Perry approaches. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 6. 7 CONTINUED: 7 PERRY Lois, I just got off the phone with the museum. I told them the Planet would cover the damages. Now, I think it's only fair if you kick in a little... He trails off as he notices Lois' dark expression. PERRY (CONT'D) What's wrong? She gestures to a note folded and taped to her computer. Someone has written 'FOR MY LOVE' on it. Clark takes it, unfolds the note. CLARK 'Dear Lois. Please accept the gift in your desk as an apology for last night. I am itching to be yours. Your secret admirer.' Puzzled, Lois opens her top desk drawer and pulls out a SMALL VELVET BOX. She gingerly lays it on her desk. JIMMY Aren't you gonna open it? LOIS I don't know. Clark lowers his glasses and scans the box with his X-RAY VISION. (No, we don't see what's inside the box). CLARK You want me to open it? LOIS No. I'll... I'll do it. As she reaches to open it, Jimmy and Perry step back a few feet. Lois shoots them a look, then carefully lifts the lid. Inside is a sparkling DIAMOND RING. LOIS (CONT'D) It's... it's beautiful. She lifts the ring and slips it on. As she admires it... LOIS (CONT'D) A little tight, but still... (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 7. 7 CONTINUED: 2 7 JIMMY Hey, this means your secret admirer must work here. Nobody else has access to your desk. PERRY Good investigative reasoning, son. (Jimmy beams) But you're wrong. (Jimmy deflates) First of all, lots of folks come into this news room who don't work here. And second, I know what everyone gets paid. And no one earns enough to buy a rock like that. Lois rubs the ring, rolling it around on her finger thru... LOIS This is the most romantic thing... CLARK 'I'm itching to be yours?' A little corny, isn't it? Lois starts scratching her skin around the ring, increasing it thru... LOIS Well... I'm sure it came from his heart. CLARK Amazing. You went from being afraid of opening the box to thinking this guy's Longfellow in thirty seconds. Now Lois is furiously scratching. LOIS You just don't understand romance, Clark. PERRY Lois... are you okay? LOIS I...I must be having some kind of reaction to the platinum... She tries to take the ring off, can't. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 8. 7 CONTINUED: 3 7 LOIS (CONT'D) It's too tight. CLARK Let me help. Clark takes Lois' hand in his and uses his SUPER STRENGTH to snap the band in two. CLARK (CONT'D) (off everyone's reaction) Must be a cheap setting. PERRY Looks like lover boy's batting oh for two. As Lois' scratches her red and blotchy finger... CLARK (eyeing band) It's all discolored. It's been dipped in some kind of chemical. (to Lois) Yeah, he's a real romantic. Off Lois' look... CUT TO: 8 INT. JEWELRY STORE - DAY 8 Lois and Clark enter. The store is empty. They walk to a counter. Lois impatiently hits a service bell four times. CLARK I can see this is going to be a long day. LOIS What? Because I'm a little edgy? Well I'm sorry Clark, but I can't get this image out of my head of some weirdo sitting in his living room snickering to his friends about how he's going to get Lois Lane to fall for him. She moves down the showcases looking at the jewelry. He follows. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 9. 8 CONTINUED: 8 CLARK I guess that's one of the drawbacks of being, beautiful, successful and eligible. LOIS What's that supposed to mean?! CLARK Nothing. I was paying you a compliment. LOIS No you weren't. You were implying that if I wasn't single I wouldn't have this problem. CLARK No I wasn't. (beat) But you probably _wouldn't_ have this problem if you were married. LOIS Oh, that's a good reason to get married. To avoid harassment. Clark sighs in frustration as the OWNER approaches. STORE OWNER Can I help you? She pulls the ring from her purse and hands it to him thru... LOIS Yes. I was wondering. Could you tell by looking at this ring, where it might have been made? STORE OWNER (inspecting ring) Let me get my loop. As he retreats to the back of the store, Clark and Lois shift their attention to the jewelry cases. Lois is at one case, Clark at an adjoining one. LOIS Gee, he has such beautiful things. These cameos are gorgeous. CLARK You ought to look at some of the things in this case. They're not. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 10. 8 CONTINUED: 2 8 LOIS (looking in his case) Yuch. They remind me of this computer nerd I knew in college. Randall Loomis. He used to give me the creeps. He followed me around for an entire year like an annoying little gnat. Then one day I found a hideous looking pin in my locker just like one of these with a note saying... (realization hits her) ...'from your secret admirer!' Clark! That's it! Randall Loomis! The owner of the store re-enters thru... LOIS (CONT'D) I bet he's the one behind all this. He still lives in Metropolis. STORE OWNER I think I can get the information you want but it would help if I could hold onto this ring for a day or so. LOIS Fine. (to Clark) Let's go. As she hurries for the door, a perplexed Clark hands the man a business card and we... CUT TO: 9 EXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK - DAY - ESTABLISHING 9 10 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - DAY 10 A STREET SWEEPER marked METROPOLIS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC WORKS is parked in the middle of this large facility that's part warehouse, part laboratory. Someone is working under the sweeper, his sneakers poking out from under the back, twitching in rhythm to a song coming from a nearby radio. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 11. 11 ANOTHER ANGLE - SHOOTING UNDER THE SWEEPER 11 The workman is VICTOR, the "messenger" we saw in the museum. Lying on a mechanic's board, he happily HUMS ALONG to the radio as he finishes attaching a GALLON SIZED METAL CONTAINER to-the underside of the sweeper. WIDEN as a pair of BLACK COWBOY BOOTS slowly enter frame, stopping next to the sneakers. A beat, then one boots comes up os brought down hard onto Victor's foot. VICTOR Ow! Startled, he bumps his head hard on the undercarriage. VICTOR (CONT'D) Ow! (rubbing his head) Oooh... Victor's suddenly slid out from underneath the sweeper by... 12 KYLE GRIFFIN 12 the "waiter" at the museum, who stares at Victor, disgusted. VICTOR (rubbing his foot) What did you do that for? GRIFFIN You forgot to turn the security, system on again. I walked right in through the front door. Victor rolls down his sock, massages his ankle thru... VICTOR Aw, I can never figure out how that stupid thing works. GRIFFIN You have a Masters in engineering and you can't figure out how to turn on the security system? VICTOR (defensive) Sometimes geniuses have trouble with the simple things. It's what makes us colorful. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 12. 12 CONTINUED: 12 GRIFFIN Colorful. Really? How do you feel about black and blue? (off Victor's look) Victor, I've got lots of goodies planned for Lois Lane. And I don't want them ruined just because you're too stupid to figure out how to set a simple alarm. VICTOR Okay, okay. I'll rig it some way so it's easy to operate. GRIFFIN I don't care if you 'clap' it on. Just use it! As Griffin walks to a nearby table and hangs his coat on a chair... VICTOR How did your meeting go with the terrorists? GRIFFIN They prefer the term 'freedom fighters.' And they want a demonstration before they'll advance us any money. VICTOR They don't trust us? GRIFFIN Victor, we're the kind of people who deal with terrorists. Why would anybody trust us? (re: sweeper) Is this thing ready? VICTOR (proudly) I bypassed the manufacturers' spraying system and installed a modified flow control process that will allow a denser... GRIFFIN B-o-r-rring! Is it ready? VICTOR Ready. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 13. 12 CONTINUED: 2 12 GRIFFIN Good. He tosses Victor a pair of yellow CITY WORKER'S OVERALLS. GRIFFIN (CONT'D) (condescending) Think you can figure out how to get into these? As Victor studies the overalls... CUT TO: 13 INT. PLANET STAFF CAR - DAY 13 Lois drives, Clark rides next to her. LOIS After years of pining for me, Loomis has finally decided to act on his sick little fantasies. I can see him now, sitting in some dark little room, dreaming up annoying ways to get my attention. CLARK Here it is. 14 EXT. STATELY HOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS 14 The Planet Staff car stops at the curb. LOIS (incredulous) That's 516? CLARK Yup. Looks like old Randall 'the nerd' did all right for himself. They get out and walk to the front door thru... CLARK (CONT'D) Have you thought about what you're going to say if it turns out Randall's not behind this? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 14. 14 CONTINUED: 14 LOIS (patiently) Clark, it makes perfect sense. His intense infatuation with me, his mechanical abilities, and evidently he's got the money to spend on the elaborate gifts. CLARK People can change, Lois. LOIS Just because he stumbled into some money doesn't mean he's not the same pathetic little man. She rings the bell. A seven part HARMONY CHIME echoes in the cavernous house. A moment later, a voluptuous blonde in a bikini, MRS. LOOMIS, opens the door. MRS. LOOMIS Yes? CLARK Hi. Does Randall Loomis live here? MRS. LOOMIS Yes. I'm Mrs. Loomis. Can I help you? Lois is dumbfounded. Clark's amused. CLARK _Mrs._ Loomis of course. I'm Clark Kent (indicating Lois) ... and this is... LOIS (still in shock) Lois Lane. CLARK Randall and Lois are old friends. We were in the neighborhood and Lois just wanted to say hello. (to Lois) Isn't that right Lois? The blonde checks out Lois who manages a wan smile. MRS. LOOMIS Oh, I'm sure held be delighted. I'll be right back. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 15. 14 CONTINUED: 2 14 The blonde leaves. Clark turns to Lois. LOIS (hoping against hope) Maybe it's a different Randall Loomis. It is a common name. Clark shoots her a glance that says 'Gimme a break.' The blonde returns, her arm linked through the arm of a RANDALL LOOMIS, a bookworm-ish little man, about 30. LOOMIS Hi. You were looking for me? CLARK (leading) Lois.... LOIS Uh, hi Randall. LOOMIS Do I know you from somewhere? LOIS (embarrassed) Lois Lane. We went to college together? Randall thinks for a moment, then... LOOMIS Oh... right. I didn't recognize you. You look so... mature. Lois is not sure how to take this left-handed compliment. LOIS You look like you're... doing well. LOOMIS Oh, yeah. I sold my software company last year and retired. Joanna and I are going to travel around the world and then settle down in our place in Paris. (beat) Would you like to come in? LOIS (quickly) Oh, no. (then) I'm uh... on a deadline. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 16. 14 CONTINUED: 3 14 LOIS (CONT'D) Aren't I Clark? (to Loomis) I'm a reporter... uh... journalist... uh... senior Journalist... for the Daily Planet. I'm in charge of... CLARK ... almost the whole newspaper. Lois shoots him a dirty look. LOOMIS Well, it was nice of you to stop by. I'm glad to see that you've found yourself a good man. Lois reacts. Loomis turns to Clark. LOOMIS In college I seem to remember Lois always on the prowl, but she never could hook up with the right guy. I hope it works out for you two. CLARK (amused) Thanks. Lois smiles tightly, then grabs Clark's arm and tugs hard. LOIS Let's go, Clark. They turn and head down the walk a beat, then... CLARK So you were on the prowl in college? LOIS He has a very faulty memory. And she dyes her hair. Did you see those roots? CLARK (teasing) I uh... wasn't really focusing on her hair. LOIS I'm glad you're having such a good time. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 17. 14 CONTINUED: 4 14 CLARK Okay, I'm sorry. Look, maybe by tomorrow that jeweler will have some information on the ring. CUT TO: 15 INT. STREET SWEEPER - DAY 15 As the SWEEPER IDLES, Victor sits behind the wheel curbside. Griffin sits next to him, street side, eyeing the sideview mirror. Suddenly, a STANTON ELECTRONICS TRUCK appears. GRIFFIN There it is. Let's go. 16 EXT. STREET - DAY 16 Very little traffic. Several cars are parked at the curb. The Sweeper pulls away from the curb and moves into the street well ahead of the Electronics Truck. Suddenly, from the rear of the Sweeper, a BLACK SPRAY shoots out, covering the entire street. 17 ANOTHER ANGLE 17 The Electronics truck comes RUMBLING down the street. As soon as it hits the coated blacktop, it starts to slide out of control. As the driver wrestles with the wheel, the turck slides toward the curb, jumps it and slams into a light pole, knocking the driver unconscious. People come to the aid of the truck driver. As more run across the street they slip and fall on the icy blacktop, unable to get up. Two other cars coming down the street lose their traction and begin sliding out of control. They both collide with parked cars. 18 ANGLE ON REAR OF TRUCK 18 Amidst the bedlam of people yelling and calling for help, Griffin and Victor appear from around the other side, wearing LARGE BOOTS. Victor carries a large wire cutter. He clamps it across a padlock at the rear of the truck and cuts it. Griffin opens the door and they jump inside. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 18. 19 INT. REAR OF TRUCK - DAY - CONTINUOUS 19 Filled with neatly labeled trays. As Victor and Griffin check for two particular boxes... VICTOR These boots worked great, didn't they? Did I tell you how I got the rubber to adhere to the icy surface? GRIFFIN Victor, shut up and find the chips. Victor locates one tray and slides it out of its rack. The Tray is marked "Fort Truman." VICTOR Here's one. He pulls out a leather pouch and pair of TWEEEZERS. As he reaches for A COMPUTER CHIP with the tweezers... Griffin pulls a tray marked MUNICIPAL STADIUM from a rack. GRIFFIN Give me the tweezers. Griffin, behind Victor, holds out his hand. Victor turns to Griffin with the tweezers and inadvertently stabs Griffin in the hand. Griffin grimaces. VICTOR Oops. Sorry. Griffin grimaces then snatches the tweezers and pulls another CHIP from his tray thru... GRIFFIN Now... where's our little gift for Lois Lane? VICTOR Got it right here. He hands a third chip to Griffin who replaces the stolen chip with the one Victor handed him thru... VICTOR (CONT'D) You know, I was thinking... GRIFFIN (cutting him off) That's a bad thing, Victor. Let's go. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 19. 20 EXT. STREET - DAY - CONTINUOUS 20 Several pedestrians pull the driver from the truck as the confusion on the street continues. No one notices Victor and Griffin hop out the back of the truck and disappear. 21 INT. DAILY PLANET CAR - MOVING - DAY - CONTINUOUS 21 Lois drives. Clark's next to her, smiling to himself. A beat, then he chuckles. Lois shoots him a dirty look. CLARK I'm sorry... but you had to see the look on your face when he told you he sold his software company and was going to settle down in Paris. Clark continues to chuckle as he relives the last scene. LOIS (exasperated) Oh, stop it. You think I care what Randall Loomis does with his life? I've got a lot more important things to deal with right now. CLARK Oh, I know. You're a... senior journalist. LOIS (turning on him) Y'know, you could walk back... CLARK (indicating street ahead) Look out! As Lois turns to look, her face registers shock. 22 HER POV 22 They've headed straight into the icy slick street. A car in front of them skids out of control, two others lie at odd angles, having already collided. The Stanton Electronics Truck rests against the lightpole. Pedestrians in the middle of the street are slipping and sliding, unable to get their footing. And Lois is headed right for them. 23 RESUME SCENE 23 Lois hits her breaks, throwing the car into a skid. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 20. 23 CONTINUED: 23 LOIS Clark! CLARK Steer into the skid! She frantically spins the wheel but it doesn't help. LOIS I am! It's not working! 24 THEIR POV THRU WINDSHEILD 24 As their car slides at a 45 degree angle toward several helpless pedestrians, we... FADE OUT. _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 21. _ACT TWO_ 25 INT. DAILY PLANET CAR - SKIDDING - DAY - CONTINUOUS 25 While Lois struggles with the out-of-control car, Clark opens his door and sticks out his foot. 26 EXT. DAILY PLANET CAR - DAY - CONTINUOUS - ON CLARK'S FOOT 26 pressed to the ground with SUPER STRENGTH, braking the car. 27 ANOTHER ANGLE 27 The car comes to a stop inches away from several terrifed and helpless pedestrians. Clark pulls his foot back in. 28 INT. DAILY PLANET CAR - STOPPED - DAY - CONTINUOUS 28 CLARK That was close. LOIS Too close. (annoyed) And what did you open the door for? CLARK I don't know. I guess for a moment I thought maybe... LOIS What? You were going to drag your feet on the ground and stop us? He shrugs innocently, indicating maybe it was a silly idea. LOIS (CONT'D) I think you've been watching too many Flintstone's cartoons. 29 EXT. STREET - DAY - CONTINUOUS 29 Clark gets out of the car. CLARK Stay here. I'll call for help. As he carefully moves off, Lois gets out of the car... LOIS I'm not going to stay here while you... (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 22. 29 CONTINUED: 29 But she immediately slips and falls. As she struggles to get to her feet she looks up and sees a Mini-Van skidding straight toward her. As.it comes dangerously close 30 SUPERMAN 30 lands in front of her and stops the Mini-van. He go Lois and picks her up in his arms. SUPERMAN Are you all right? Lois is a mix of relief and delight to be in Superman's arms. As he carries her to the sidewalk... LOIS (nods) For someone who just saw their life flash in front of their eyes. What caused this? SUPERMAN It must be some kind of chemical reaction. He lowers her safely onto the sidewalk, then turns back to the street and kneels to touch the surface. After a beat he uses his HEAT VISION to evaporate the slick sheen. As it turns to steam and disappears... LOIS Promise someday you'll tell me how you do that. Superman smiles at her as we... CUT TO: 31 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - NIGHT #2 31 Griffin and Victor hover over a BAZOOKA-LIKE WEAPON lying unassembled on a table as Victor withdraws one of the stolen chips from the leather pouch. VICTOR Here's the little dickens. As he turns to transfer it to the weapon, he drops it. VICTOR Ooops. Don't move! Griffin freezes, bent at the waist inspecting some parts. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 23. 31 CONTINUED: 31 GRIFFIN (patiently) Why? VICTOR (worried) I dropped the chip. GRIFFIN You dropped the chip. Do you see it? VICTOR (child like) No. GRIFFIN (bending down to look) Victor, that chip is worth over a hundred thousand dollars. It's irreplaceable. Unlike you. Now, look again. Victor looks around, then... VICTOR Oh oh oh! Here it is! on the table! Victor picks it up with the tweezers, blows some dust off it and lays it into the bazooka as Griffin slowly straightens up, arching his back. VICTOR (CONT'D) Lucky. No damage done. Griffin puts his arm around Victor's shoulder. As he leads Victor away from the table... GRIFFIN Did I ever tell you how long I was in prison? VICTOR I think you said it was five years. GRIFFIN Right. And I never got a day off for good behavior. Know why? Victor shakes his head. GRIFFIN (CONT'D) Because I'm not a nice guy. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 24. 31 CONTINUED: 2 31 And with that, Griffin reaches up and TWISTS Victor's bow tie tighter and tighter. Victor GASPS, his eyes going wide thru... GRIFFIN (CONT'D) It's important you realize just how much this project means to me. VICTOR (gurgling) I realize... I realize... it won't happen again. Griffin releases Victor's tie. As Victor quickly loosens it and gulps in air... GRIFFIN Good. Now, we've had a long day. How about I take you out to the old ball game? Griffin walks off, leaving Victor to rub his neck and consider a new career. CUT TO: 32 INT. DAILY PLANET - MORNING (DAY #3) 32 Lois exits the elevator, scanning the front page of the Planet. As she heads down the ramp, a few STAFFERS spot her and start singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game." Lois eyes them warily as she reaches her desk, where Jimmy is waiting. LOIS Someone want to let me in on the joke? JIMMY Did you read the sports section yet? LOIS I never read the sports section. JIMMY Might want to look at it this morning. You're the action shot of the day. Lois flips to the sports section, eyes the front page. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 25. 33 INSERT - PHOTO ON SPORTS PAGE 33 A color photo shows the scoreboard at Metropolis Stadium. Across the scoreboard in huge letters is "LOIS LANE ... LET ME BE YOUR DESIGNATED HITTER ... YOUR SECRET ADMIRER." 34 RESUME SCENE 34 JIMMY It's kinda' cool how he tied in a baseball theme... (Lois stares at him) You know, the whole designated hitter thing... (off Lois' cold look) I sure wish somebody would yell 'copy boy' right about now... Jimmy's bailed out when Pete approaches. PETE You know Lois, a lot of people think I'm too old to be a romantic. And they're right. (gestures to paper) Do me a favor, would ya? Tell lover boy to send a candygram next time. LOIS (tentative) Was this message up on the board very long? PETE Long? The game was postponed for two hours! The fans were going nuts. LOIS (hopeful) Nuts in a good way... ? Pete's scowl answers the question, then... PETE The boys in the press box decided to dub him the 'prankster.' Just so you know where I stand, I suggested a different name. Pete exits. Lois eyes the paper again. LOIS How did he manage to do this? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 26. 34 CONTINUED: 34 CLARK (O.S.) With a stolen computer chip. Lois and Jimmy turn as Clark approaches Lois' desk. CLARK (CONT'D) I talked with the manager of the stadium this morning. He told me the scoreboard is programmed by Stanton Electronics. Ring a bell? LOIS One of their trucks caught up in that mess on the street yesterday. CLARK (nods, then) Turns out two computer chips were stolen and replaced with altered chips after the accident. One ran the scoreboard. The other was headed to a military lab. JIMMY So yesterday's slip 'n slide wasn't an accident, it was a diversion. LOIS Don't tell me. The museum was a diversion too. CLARK Yup. The Regent Diamond is missing from their collection. Fifty karats. LOIS (dreading it) A diamond? Let me guess. A piece of it was in the ring I got. CLARK The jeweler says it was cut from the same stone. LOIS (sighs, then) You know, it's true what they say. Love stinks. JIMMY I don't get it. The guy stole a diamond ring and a computer chip. What's the connection? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 27. 34 CONTINUED: 2 34 As our heroes consider this, Perry leans out of his office. PERRY Lois! Clark! Get in here. You'll want to see this. CUT TO: 35 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE - SECONDS LATER 35 Lois and Clark enter, find Perry watching a TV screen. PERRY I was watching the all news channel when this cut in. 36 THEIR POV - ON SCREEN 36 The screen is filled with the image of a bomb; four thick blocks of a greenish-gray clay like material are connected to a digital timer by several wires. The timer reads "01:57." 37 RESUME SCENE - INTERCUT AS NEEDED 37 LOIS Where is this coming from? Perry shrugs, he has no idea. Suddenly... MAN'S VOICE (O.S.) (on TV) Good Morning Metropolis. Sorry for interrupting the news, but nothing's more important than what I have to say. The timer now reads "01.45." INTERCUT WITH: 38 EXT. WHITMORE LABS - DAY - CONTINUOUS 38 Griffin and Victor are in a van parked in an alley, affording themselves a view of both the front and side entrances of Whitmore Labs. Griffin wears a wireless microphone around his throat as he eyes a portable TV on the van's dash. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 28. 38 CONTINUED: 38 GRIFFIN The bomb you see is planted in the basement of one of our city's scientific laboratories. And just so everyone's not inconvenienced, I don't mind telling you the lab is located somewhere in the Riverfront Industrial District. 39 AT PERRY'S OFFICE 39 PERRY Somebody get on this... CLARK I'll go. Lois, why don't you stay and find out ... uh... how he managed to tap into the broadcast? Lois' eyes are riveted on the screen. LOIS Okay. Fine. As Clark hurries out... 40 IN THE VAN 40 GRIFFIN As you can see the bomb will detonate in exactly one minute and fifteen seconds. If you're in that area you might want to hot foot it out. Victor and Griffin look out the van at the lab. 41 THEIR POV 41 A security guard hurries employees of the lab out the front door. As they scatter for safety... 42 RESUME GRIFFIN 42 GRIFFIN If anyone is wondering why I'm doing this, let's just say I'm a hopeless romantic who wants to show the world the explosive nature of my love for Lois Lane. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 29. 43 IN PERRY'S OFFICE 43 Lois reacts. Perry turns to look at her. All she can do is shake her head helplessly. 44 ON THE SCREEN 44 The timer is down to 01:00. 45 IN VAN 45 Griffin and Victor wait until the security guard finishes ushering people out, then they head for a side entrance. 46 ON SUPERMAN 46 as he FLIES over the city. As he nears the industrial district, he banks and heads down. 47 INT. WHITMORE LABS - DAY - SIMULTANEOUS 47 Deserted, except for Griffin and Victor. As Griffin slips a METAL CONTAINER from a lab table into his leather bag, Victor takes a framed copy of the "All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" poster off a nearby wall. GRIFFIN What are you doing? VICTOR I always wanted a copy of this poster. GRIFFIN You're supposed to be looking for titanium! VICTOR Okay, okay. I just thought as long as I was here... 48 ON SUPERMAN 48 Hovering over a street. Using his X-RAY VISION, he spots the explosives under a tall, modern building marked MYLER CHEMICALS. As the last few employees rush from the building, Superman flies for the entrance. 49 IN PERRY'S OFFICE 49 The timer on the TV screen now reads "00:07" and counting. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 30. 49 CONTINUED: 49 LOIS Oh my God... 50 INT. BUILDING BASEMENT - DAY - SIMULTANEOUS 50 Suddenly Superman bursts through the basement wall and into the scene on the TV set. He dives for the timer. 51 IN PERRY'S OFFICE 51 on the TV, Superman's hand enters frame just as the timer runs out. Lois and Perry grimace, but the expected explosion doesn't come. Instead, a SMALL FLAG pops out with the word "BOOM!" on it. As Perry and Lois breathe a sigh of relief... 52 IN VAN 52 Griffin watches the end of the drama on TV as Victor finishes closing the van's doors. GRIFFIN (into his mike) Bravo, Superman. You were _very_ close. Unfortunately, next time close will have very deadly results. 53 IN PERRY'S OFFICE 53 The picture of the screen is suddenly scrambled, then the regular news channel comes back on. Perry clicks the set off, turns to Lois, who stares at the blank screen, stunned. PERRY Did you recognize his voice? Lois shakes her head. LOIS Why is he doing this to me? Perry puts a comforting arm around her shoulder. A beat, then Jimmy enters the office. JIMMY (tentative) Lois? Uh, sorry to interrupt, but some guy just called for you. Said he had information about who your 'secret admirer' is. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 31. 53 CONTINUED: 53 He extends a phone slip to her. As Lois takes it, eyeing it curiously... CUT TO: 54 EXT. RUN DOWN HOTEL - DAY - ESTABLISHING 54 A crummy looking hotel in a crummy part of town. As Lois and Clark approach... LOIS (eyeing building) Well, I think we've finally found the absolute bottom of Metropolis. CLARK Why is it that guys who call in with tips always live in the worst part of town? LOIS What do you think the ads for this place say? Alley view? Roaches on your pillow? CUT TO: 55 INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS 55 Small, dimly lit, with one sagging bed, a cigarette scarred dresser and a small, very old TV. A KNOCK on the door and a thin, very nervous ex-con named NICK DARBY moves into frame. All of his movements are accompanied by a series of TICS and TWITCHES. He opens the door revealing Lois and Clark. DARBY You Lane? LOIS Yes. This is my partner, Clark Kent. Darby eyes Clark, his face goes through a series of twitches, then lets them in. He motions to the bed. DARBY Wanna sit down? LOIS That's okay. I like to stand. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 32. 55 CONTINUED: 55 DARBY Let's see the money. Lois and Clark share a look. CLARK What money? DARBY I told the kid on the phone. You wanna find out who's doing these things to you, it's gonna cost. CLARK Mr. Darby, The Daily Planet has a standing policy that we don't pay for information. DARBY Then you came here for nothing. LOIS Let's not be hasty. How much money are we talking about? DARBY Ten grand. LOIS Ten thousand dollars?! You've got to be joking. DARBY (threatening) Does this look like a face that makes jokes. LOIS Uh... no... definitely not jokes. DARBY Look. I know this guy. I spent a lot of time with him. You want him or not? CLARK How do you know him? DARBY What? You see a sign on my forehead that says 'stupid?' Our heroes exchange a look as A ROTARY DIAL PHONE RINGS. Darby picks it up. Intercut Darby on the phone with Lois and Clark. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 33. 55 CONTINUED: 2 55 DARBY (CONT'D) Yeah? Lois grabs Clark by the arm and takes him into a corner, about three steps away. They speak in HUSHED TONES. LOIS I'm sure we can get the information for less. These things are negotiable. DARBY This is Nick Darby. Who's this? CLARK (facetious) Fine. See if you can get him down to twenty dollars. LOIS Clark, don't be ridiculous. Look, we're talking about my life here. Suddenly Darby's eyes fly wide open. His twitch gets even more pronounced. LOIS (CONT'D) Maybe we could offer him a couple of nights at a nicer place. CLARK Sure. And let's throw in a harbor cruise. LOTS Will you get serious!? (beat, then) Let's offer him a thousand dollars. He'll take it. Just look at him. He's so pathetic. Lois looks over at him and smiles. Just then, Darby drops the phone and falls out of his chair. Clark moves to him and feels his neck. CLARK He's beyond pathetic. He's dead. Off Lois' reaction. FADE OUT. _END ACT TWO_ --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 34. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 56 INT. DAILY PLANET - NIGHT #3 56 Lois is at her desk, working on her computer. Clark is looking over her shoulder. Perry enters from the elevators. PERRY I just heard. How exactly did this Darby fellow die? CLARK He was electrocuted. PERRY Over the phone? How do you rig up something like that? CLARK This 'Prankster' seems to be a man of many talents. PERRY I'm not sure talent's the word I'd use. LOIS Just because Nick Darby didn't talk doesn't mean he didn't give us a lead. (referring to computer) Look. He did eighteen years in San Quentin. He got out a month ago. CLARK Darby said he spent a lot of time with this guy. It's gotta be someone he knew prison. LOIS Maybe one of his cellmates. Lois punches in several more key as she eyes screen. After a beat, her mouth falls open. LOIS (O.S.) (whispering) Oh my god... 57 CLOSE ON COMPUTER SCREEN 57 A list of names and parole dates. One is highlighted. 'KYLE GRIFFIN.' (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 35. 57 CONTINUED: 57 CLARK (O.S.) Who's Kyle Griffin? 58 BACK TO SCENE 58 PERRY Wasn't he arrested about five years ago for selling high tech weapons to the third world? LOIS His firm did the selling. He did the designing. CLARK Why would he be after you? LOIS My first big story was an expose on the arms business. It lead to the FBI arresting a dozen people for treason Kyle Griffin was at the top of the list. CLARK And now he's out and looking for revenge? LOIS But why steal a diamond and a computer chip? PERRY Just a guess, but they _are_ components used in high tech weaponry. Jimmy enters all jazzed. JIMMY Hey, listen to this. One of the buildings that emptied out during the phony bomb scare this morning was Whitmore Scientific Labs... LOIS And they just found out something was stolen. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 36. 58 CONTINUED: 58 JIMMY (deflated) Yeah. Four pounds of titanium alloy and something called... (checks his notes) Cesium. How'd you know? Lois, Clark and Perry exchange a look. CLARK Look, at this hour all we can do is leave a message for his parole officer. (checking watch) With any luck he'll get back to us first thing in the morning. Lois gathers her things to leave. PERRY Lois, you want to stay with Alice and me tonight? LOIS Oh, no thanks, Chief. I'll be fine. It's obvious Griffin's only interested in annoying me while he collects pieces for his next toy. CLARK Want me to take you home? LOIS I'll be fine. I promise. I'll see you all in the morning. As she walks out, they watch concerned and we... DISSOLVE TO: 59 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 59 The front door opens and Lois cautiously enters. She scans the room a beat, then turns and shuts the door, triple locking it. She moves into the living room, drops her belongings on the sofa and picks up the TV remote control. 60 EXTREMELY CLOSE ON REMOTE CONTROL 60 Lois' thumb rests on the "power" button, and hesitates. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 37. 61 BACK TO SCENE 61 as she has a change of mind, and sets the remote control down, _very gently_. She slowly backs away from the TV and heads into the kitchen. LOIS (like a mantra) Everything is fine. Everything is fine. As she moves into the kitchen, she grabs the refrigerator door. 62 EXTREMELY CLOSE ON LOIS' HAND ON THE DOOR 62 as she begins to open it, then freezes. 63 BACK TO SCENE 63 Lois slowly takes her hand away from the door. LOIS Get a grip, girl. She puts her hand back on the door and closes her eyes tight. She suddenly yanks the door open and flinches at the same time. Nothing. She lets out a massive sigh, then smiles. She grabs a carton of milk and shuts the refrigerator door. She's finally calming down. She reaches over and opens a cabinet. As she does, a drinking glass falls out, CRASHING to the floor. Lois SCREAMS and jumps backwards. The milk carton flies from her hand and hits the counter where it bursts open, sending milk cascading all over the kitchen. She hyperventilates as she stands back and surveys the damage. LOIS (quickly) It's okay, it's okay. I'm in control. Her breathing slows as she wipes up the spill. Suddenly, the PHONE RINGS. Lois spins around and stares at it. She wants to answer it, but she remembers what happened to Darby and it scares the living hell out of her. After SEVERAL RINGS the phone finally stops. Lois sighs. A moment later, it starts again. Lois' fear now mixes with anger and frustration. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 38. 63 CONTINUED: 63 LOIS Oh, I hate this. She looks around the kitchen, grabs a broom and crosses to the phone. Using the broom handle, she pushes the receiver out of the cradle. It falls onto the floor. She kneels near the receiver, keeping her ear at least a foot away. WOMAN'S VOICE (from phone) Lois? Is that you? Lois? She puts the receiver to her ear. LOIS Mom? 64 SPLIT SCREEN 64 Lois on one side. We're close on her MOTHER on the other. MRS. LANE Are you all right, honey? LOIS (brave front) Sure, Mom. I'm fine. MRS. LANE People have been talking about you. Most of them are not saying very nice things. LOIS I know, but it'll all be over soon. We've got a strong lead on the guy. MRS. LANE I hope so because... Suddenly, the line goes dead and MRS. LANE disappears with the SPLIT SCREEN. LOIS Mom? Lois looks at the dead receiver and replaces it in its cradle. A second later, the PHONE RINGS. She picks it up immediately. LOIS (CONT'D) Hi. We were cut off. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 39. 65 SPLIT SCREEN 65 This time we're close on Kyle Griffin. GRIFFIN I know. I did the cutting. LOIS (horrified) Griffin. GRIFFIN Oooh, you figured it out. And to think I went to all the bother of killing poor Darby. LOIS What do you want? GRIFFIN Oh, not much. Just for the world to hate you. Like you made them hate me. And then, when your reputation is ruined, and your life is sufficiently wretched, I'm going to put you out of your misery. Lois, eyes widen in terror as she SLAMS down the phone and Griffin's face disappears. CUT TO: 66 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 66 Clark's in a torn t-shirt and shorts, lying on his sofa, watching a baseball game on TV. Soda cans and fast food containers are strewn around the floor. There's a LOUD KNOCK at the door. Clark tips his glasses and uses his X-RAY VISION to see Lois on the other side, carrying a pizza box, a six pack of soda and a stack of videos. He leaps up from the chair and uses a burst of SUPER SPEED to clean the place up. A moment later, he opens the door. Lois barrels past him and heads to the sofa thru... LOIS Hi. I had this sudden urge for pizza and a Woody Allen movie and I know how much you like pizza and Woody Allen too, well, at least his early work, so here I am. CLARK (closing door) Great. Come in. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 40. 66 CONTINUED: 66 She puts the pizza and soda on the coffee table. LOIS So. What do you want to start with? BANANAS? SLEEPER? EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT... nah... how about ANNIE HALL? It was always one of my favorites. CLARK Lois, is something wrong? LOIS (false bravado) Does something have to be wrong for me to want to spend some time with a friend? CLARK Sorry. ANNIE HALL would be fine. Lois pops the cassette in Clark's VCR and turns it on. She crosses back over to the.sofa and sits. Clark settles next to her. With the volume LOW... LOIS (smiling) This is great. We should do this more often. What are you doing tomorrow night? CLARK (knows something's up) Lois... Suddenly, the phone RINGS. Lois nearly jumps off the sofa. As Clark picks it up... LOIS Clark, don't! Too late. He already has the phone. CLARK Hello? (shrugs and hangs up) No one there. Must have been a wrong number. LOIS (forced smile) Wrong number. No problem. Happens all the time in a big city like this. Right? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 41. 66 CONTINUED: 2 66 CLARK (a beat, then) You want to tell me what happened? LOIS Nothing happened. (off his look) Well, nothing that important. Griffin called me. CLARK (surprised) What? What did he say? LOIS (down playing it) Oh, you know, the usual. Hi, how are you, long time no see, I'm gonna kill you... CLARK Kill you? Have you called the police? LOIS Clark, I'm a professional reporter. This isn't the first threat I've ever received. (unconvincing) They... never pan out. CLARK Maybe, but I'd feel better if you stayed here tonight. LOIS (still covering) Oh, I think you're overreacting, but if you insist... As she settles back down into the sofa cushions... CLARK Gee I'm sorry I had to twist your arm. Clark smiles as Lois pretends to ignore him. LOIS (eyes on screen) I love this movie. She snuggles up against Clark's shoulder. A beat, then he slips his arm around her. She smiles. --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 42. 67 CLOSE ON CLARK 67 He watches the screen a beat, then... CLARK I love this part where he visits her family. It reminds me of a blind date I had once... He looks at Lois. CAMERA WIDENS to show that's she's fallen asleep. Clark carefully maneuvers her so she's lying down on the couch. He grabs a nearby blanket and covers her. Clark smiles down at her, then grabs a throw pillow and settles in on the floor. DISSOLVE TO: 68 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - EARLY MORNING - DAY #4 68 Lois is on the sofa just waking up. Clark's on the phone talking softly. CLARK What did he say? (beat) Okay, I'll get right on it. Thanks. Clark hangs up-and moves into the kitchen as Lois looks around, at first disoriented, then remembers where she is, finally focuses on Clark. LOIS Who was that? CLARK Jimmy. Griffins's parole officer called. The only address he has for him is his father's toy store. LOIS Toy store? His father used to be a nuclear physicist. Griffin followed in his father's footsteps. He returns with a cup of coffee and hands it to her thru... CLARK Apparently he retired and went into the toy business. It's not far from here. How'd you sleep? LOIS I had really weird dreams. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 43. 68 CONTINUED: 68 He smiles as she grabs a piece of cold pizza. As she's about to bite in... CLARK Maybe it was the pizza. LOIS I doubt it. In one of them I was a cocktail waitress and Griffin was my bartender. And all of a sudden he's trying to stick me in a blender and I'm yelling we don't make blender drinks in this bar. CLARK (smiles) Let's hope it was the pizza. He takes the rest of the leftover pizza and heads into the kitchen thru... LOIS Hey. That's my breakfast. CLARK Get dressed. I'll buy you a donut on the way to see Griffin's father. She'd rather have the pizza and off her reaction we.... CUT TO: 69. INT. TOY STORE - DAY 69 We're close on what looks like a lucite, spiral shaped lava lamp with day-glow orange "lava" floating inside. MAN'S VOICE This is my favorite. The CAMERA pulls back to reveal we're in a unique Toy Store. A cross between "Sharper Image" and "Imaginarium." Numerous worthless but expensive "toys" of all sizes are on display with much empty space in between. EDWIN GRIFFIN, Kyle's father, mid-60's and somewhat disheveled, hands the Lucite Spiral to Lois. MR. GRIFFIN If you look through one end you'll see the skyline of Metropolis. LOIS (looking thru the end) I can't see it. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 44. 69 CONTINUED: 69 MR. GRIFFIN Well, it's abstract. You have to use your imagination. Lois shoots a doubtful look at Clark then eyes the price. LOIS Eight hundred dollars? Do you sell a lot of these? MR. GRIFFIN Well, I haven't sold any yet. But in this business it's all about location. And... in hindsight, I'm not sure being between a funeral parlor and a beauty salon was such a good idea. CLARK Mr. Griffin, we'd like to talk to you about Kyle. We have reason to believe he may be developing a new weapon with stolen high tech parts. MR. GRIFFIN Mr. Kent, Kyle is a good boy. He would never do anything to hurt anyone. He moves to a toy Tennis Game, the size of a board game with mechanical players on a red clay surface. MR. GRIFFIN (CONT'D) (gleeful) Look. You can't find _this_ anywhere else. I make them. And this is real red clay. Hard to come by in these parts. I dig it up myself over near Lunar Industrial Park. LOIS Mr. Griffin, when was the last time you heard from Kyle? MR. GRIFFIN (crossing to another item) I haven't seen him since he got out of prison. He was a brilliant boy who just got caught up with the wrong crowd. How about this? He points to a big black lucite box. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 45. 69 CONTINUED: 2 69 CLARK If I were to tell you I had titanium, cesium, a diamond and a computer chip, what might I be making with that? MR. GRIFFIN Well... I suppose any number of things. (re: box) It looks like an ordinary box but when you sit on it, it makes the sound of an erupting volcano. The ultimate Whoopee Cushion. Lois and Clark react dubiously, then... LOIS Mr. Griffin. Could I be making a weapon with those items? MR. GRIFFIN Well, you could, but you'd be missing a power source. CLARK Such as... MR. GRIFFIN Well, if it were a nuclear type device, a piece of plutonium. CLARK The only place to get plutonium in this city is at the toxic depository. MR. GRIFFIN Uh-uh-uhh... that's not entirely correct Mr. Kent. There _is_ another place. It's a heavy metals processing plant on Highway Nine. LOIS Let's split up. I'll take the processing plant. CLARK Thanks, you've been a great help. As our heroes dash out, Griffin pulls a cellular phone from his pocket and dials. His quirky demeanor suddenly turns ominous. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 46. 69 CONTINUED: 3 69 MR. GRIFFIN You were right. They were just here. In about fifteen minutes she's going to walk right into your arms. CUT TO: 70 EXT. BACK OF PROCESSING PLANT - DAY - SIMULTANEOUS 70 Griffin smiles, hangs up a cellular phone, then turns to REVEAL... 71 ANOTHER ANGLE 71 He and Victor, wearing coveralls with "Metropolis Air Conditioning" lettered on their backs, are kneeling next to a large industrial air conditioner at the back of the plant. As Victor screws a large canister onto a thick pipe... GRIFFIN How long will this take? VICTOR The interior dimension of the plant is approximately 65,000 square feet. With an accelerated dispersion flow, the nitrous oxide... He sees Griffin glaring at him. VICTOR (CONT'D) (meekly) Fifteen minutes. He flips the unit to "High". DISSOLVE TO: 72 EXT. FRONT OF PROCESSING PLANT - DAY 72 Lois pulls up and dashes into the plant. 73 INT. PROCESSING PLANT - CONTINUOUS 73 Lois enters and finds half a dozen MEN laughing wildly. Some are on the floor, holding their sides and crying with laughter. Lois is confused. She tries speaking to one man but it's hopeless. After a moment, she too starts chuckling. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 47. 73 CONTINUED: 73 Some of the men begin to hit the second stage of nitrous oxide exposure, which is unconsciousness. Lois sees a burly man keel over, and tries to help him, but she can't stop laughing long enough to do anything. As she falls to her knees.. GRIFFIN (O.S.) (thru gas mask) Hello Lois. Having a good time? Lois turns to see... 74 ANOTHER ANGLE 74 Griffin and Victor approach in gas masks. Victor carries a small box marked 'DANGER HAZARDOUS MATERIALS.' Realizing who's behind the mask, a look of terror briefly crosses her face, then despite herself, she starts laughing again. Griffin and Victor lift her up like a rag doll. GRIFFIN I'm so glad you saved the last laugh for me. As they carry her out, Lois laughs uncontrollably and we... FADE OUT. _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 48. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 75 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 75 Clark enters, heads down the ramp. Perry approaches. PERRY Clark, the A-1 meeting for the afternoon edition starts in thirty minutes. You going to have something for me or not? CLARK I doubt it, Chief. PERRY I thought you'd have somthing on this Prankster character. CLARK We think Griffin's making some kind of nuclear weapon. But we don't have the proof yet. PERRY Nuclear? Where would he get the plutonium to pull off something like that? CLARK Well, not at the city depository, I know that much. They haven't had any in their possession for months. (sees her empty desk) Have you heard from Lois? PERRY Not since she was with you. Jimmy rushes in with a camera. JIMMY Chief! We just picked up this really weird call on the police scanner. Something about a gas attack at a processing plant on Highway Nine. You want some pix? CLARK That's where Lois went! Clark turns and rushes for the door, Jimmy following. CUT TO: --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 49. 76 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - DAY 76 Lois sits on a couch, watched over by Victor, who holds a SMALL GUN. The bazooka-looking weapon's just across from her, resting on a tripod, pointed out a large window. The weapon's attached to a video monitor and a computer terminal. Griffin stands at the computer, tapping in commands as he talks on a cellular phone. GRIFFIN So we're agreed. If the test meets with your approval, the selling price is twenty-five million dollars. (beat) If you want a front row seat, park west of the Daily Planet. And take along some popcorn. As he hangs up the phone... 77 ANGLE ON LOIS AND VICTOR 77 Victor eyes Lois' legs. Annoyed, she tugs her skirt down a little. VICTOR (shyly) If you don't mind my saying, I think you have great legs. She ignores him. VICTOR (CONT'D) I read somewhere that intelligent men are leg men. Only boobs are interested in... well, you know... anyway, your legs are very shapely. Like two perfectly formed... carrots. LOIS (facetious) Stop. You're embarrassing me. CUT TO: 78 INT. PROCESSING PLANT - DAY 78 Cops take statements, a medic checks one man's pulse as Clark interviews the PLANT MANAGER. Jimmy takes photos of the area thru... (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 50. 78 CONTINUED: 78 MANAGER The police found a canister of nitrous oxide hooked up to our air conditioning. Came right through the vents. JIMMY Did they take anything? MANAGER Yeah, some of our uranium. I tried to stop them but I was laughing too hard. CLARK And you're sure they took Lois with them? MANAGER (nods) Sorry. That gas stopped us from being much help. CLARK (grim) It's okay. Thanks. The manager nods, walks off. As Jimmy raises his camera to take some more photos, Clark lowers his glasses and scans the room. Something catches his eye and he magnifies it using his MICROSCOPIC VISION. 79 HIS POV 79 Particles of REDDISH DUST on the floor. 80 RESUME SCENE 80 He walks over to the spot and kneels, wetting his finger and picking some up. As he examines it... JIMMY What is it? CLARK Looks like bits of reddish clay. JIMMY How could you see that from over there? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 51. 80 CONTINUED: 80 CLARK (re: glasses) I uh... have a really strong prescription. JIMMY (re: clay) Is it important? Anybody could have tracked that in here. CLARK Not anybody. He gestures to a passing worker, indicating the hospital type BOOTIES covering his shoes. CLARK (CONT'D) They wear those so traces of uranium don't stick to their shoes and get outside. JIMMY So this stuff had to come from the guys who broke in! (off Clark's nod) But where do you find red clay in Metropolis? A look crosses Clark's face, then he rises. CLARK Jimmy, get as many shots of this place as you can! I'll go back and get a jump on the copy. As Clark hurries for a door... CUT TO: 81 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - LAB - DAY 81 As Griffin makes some last minute adjustments on the computer... LOIS What's the Daily Planet got to do with this, Griffin? GRIFFIN My buyers want a demonstration. What better building to destroy than the paper that sent me to prison? (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 52. 81 CONTINUED: 81 VICTOR It's really nifty! The weapon shoots out a laser beam of pure energy that vaporizes whatever it hits! (and then, modestly) I helped Kyle design it. GRIFFIN Give it up, Victor. There's no future with her. It's hard to have a really meaningful relationship with a dead woman. As Lois reacts... VICTOR (eyeing her legs) What a waste. CUT TO, 82 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - DAY 82 A Limo pulls up down the block from the Daily Planet. The rear door opens and TWO BUSINESSMEN step out and check their watches. 83 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - DAY 83 Griffin checks his watch, then positions his finger over the "delete" key of the computer keyboard. GRIFFIN You know, it's disappointing the people at the Planet won't enjoy this prank as much as I will. He's about to depress the key when the warehouse doors are RIPPED FROM THEIR HINGES and Superman appears. LOIS Superman! He's going to destroy the Daily Planet! SUPERMAN Griffin, don't! GRIFFIN Sorry. I have an investment to cover. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 53. 83 CONTINUED: 83 He presses the delete key. A WHITE BEAM of LIGHT explodes from the weapon. Superman's gone in an instant. VICTOR (to Griffin) I'm not putting that door back on. 84 EXT. METROPOLIS SKYLINE - DAY 84 The beam of light streaks towards the Planet, followed by a STREAK OF BLUE. 85 INT. GRIFFIN'S WAREHOUSE - DAY 85 Griffin eyes his monitor, showing the exterior of the Daily Planet. 86 EXT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 86 The STREAK OF BLUE overtakes the white light and Superman lands on the globe outside the Planet, cutting off the beam an instant before impact. Using his body as a shield, Superman absorbs the concentrated light, the intensity blending him. Superman's chest glows red, then suddenly the beam deflects off him and down the street. 87 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - DAY 87 The deflected beam hits the limo down the street, its light enveloping the car as the two "businessmen" stumble away. A second later there's a WHITE FLASH... and the limo is gone. 88 EXT. PLANET - DAY 88 The beam ceases. Superman's suit is seared and he's drained... but unhurt. 89 INT. GRIFFIN WAREHOUSE - DAY 89 Victor, still holding the gun on Lois, his eyes riveted to the screen, can't believe what he just saw. VICTOR Nothing! All that power and nothing happened! GRIFFIN Just the first salvo, Victor. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 54. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Griffin reaches for a knob on the weapon. GRIFFIN (CONT'D) Even steel melts if it gets hot enough. LOIS No! Taking advantage of Victor's pre-occupation, Lois leaps from the sofa and knocks the gun from his grasp. A sharp elbow to his stomach and Victor's down on his knees, GROANING. 90 ANOTHER ANGLE 90 Lois rushes to Griffin and leaps on his back, pulling him away from the weapon before he can fire it again. They zigzag crazily across the room before collapsing onto the sofa. Griffin pins Lois down with his body, grabs one of the sofa's pillows. As he raises it over her head... GRIFFIN I think it's time for the old pillow gag... He presses the pillow over Lois' face. She struggles to push the pillow off, but Griffin holds firm. She suddenly jerks her knee upward right into... well, you know. Griffin GASPS, slowly rolls off. As he collapses onto the floor, GROANING, Lois sprints to the gun and holds it on the two disabled men. LOIS You're right Victor. I do have great legs. A WHOOSH O.S. and Lois turns to see Superman at the door of the warehouse. He surveys the scene. SUPERMAN Well, I guess you don't need me. LOIS Not this time, but don't leave town. As they share a smile... CUT TO: --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 55. 91 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY #5 91 Lois is at her desk staring at the electronic Planet News Link. It reads "Lois Lane Helps Catch Illegal Weapons Dealer." As the story starts to pass across the screen, Clark approaches from behind. CLARK So, how does it feel to see your name in lights? LOIS (caught off guard) Huh? Oh, I wasn't reading that. I was... thinking about my next story. Clark shoots her a knowing look as Perry approaches with Jimmy. PERRY You two should hear this. Jimmy's got a theory he's been working on. (to Jimmy) Go ahead, son. JIMMY (hesitates, then) Well, I've been thinking about what happened, and I couldn't figure out how the Prankster knew Lois would be at that processing plant. Lois and Clark exchange a look, intrigued. JIMMY (CONT'D) Till it hit me. His father was the only other person who knew Lois would be there. He has to be in on it. He waits anxiously, then Lois and Clark smile. LOIS Nice work, Jimmy. As Clark pats him on the back... PERRY Proud of you son. I'm even gonna let you call the police. As a beaming Jimmy exits with-Perry, a FEMALE STAFFER approaches carrying a bouquet of yellow roses. FEMALE STAFFER Lois, these just came for you. (CONTINUED) --page break-- THE PRANKSTER (#4) Rosenberg 8/24/94 56. 91 CONTINUED: 91 LOIS Ooh. Kathy, what do yellow roses mean? FEMALE STAFFER Who knows? The only thing men ever send me is directions to their house. As she exits... CLARK Yellow means friendship. Lois ad libs an "Oh" as she opens the card. Her face clouds. LOIS 'From a special friend.' One final sick prank from Kyle Griffin. She quickly dumps the flowers into her trash can. CLARK No, wait! As she empties her cup of coffee on them... CLARK (crestfallen) Those flowers cost me fifty bucks. As Lois reacts, we FREEZE and... FADE OUT. _THE END_