notes: To pop everything into place... set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) (I had to tell the program I was using legal paper) On title page, the instructions in [brackets] are for printing purposes only and the lines they refer to should be centered For all other fonts, use Courier 10 (or typewriter-style, nonproportional 10 characters-per-inch font) "*" used in script probably means "this line changed from previous version" Typos noted in original: pg 12, "Bierut?" should be "Beirut" pg 15, above line 28*, I don't know what the word "reaces" is supposed to be pg 32, line that has a * "I call it , simply, 'Revenge.' note space after comma pg 47, "explantion" in scene 86 is misspelled --page break-- [large,bold] _LOIS & CLARK_ [large,ital,bold] The New Adventures of Superman PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY Episode #9 Prod. #455309 Written by DEBORAH JOY LEVINE WARNER BROS. TELEVISION _PRODUCTION DRAFT_ October 12, 1993 --page break-- [large,bold] _LOIS & CLARK_ [bold,ital] The New Adventures of Superman [large,bold] "Pheromone, My Lovely" EPISODE NINE Prod. #455309 Written by: DEBORAH JOY LEVINE Directed by: BILL D'ELIA WARNER BROS. TELEVISION _PRODUCTION DRAFT_ Oct. 12, 1993 Blue Rev. 10/14/93 Pink Rev. 10/18/93 Yellow Rev. 10/21/93 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Pheromone, My Lovely_" _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE PERRY WHITE JIMMY OLSEN CAT GRANT LEX LUTHOR _______________________________________________________________ MIRANDA APRIL STEPHENS NIGEL REHALIA PHIL HANS NEWSROOM STAFFER --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Pheromone, My Lovely_" _Yellow Rev. 10/21/93_ _LOCATIONS_ INTERIORS: EXTERIORS: Daily Planet Daily Planet The Pit Perry's Office Metropolis Skies Conference Room Xerox Room Alley Under Clark's Lunchenette Area Near Elevator Clark's Apartment Luthor's Penthouse Member's Only Club Study Balcony Miranda's Shop * Miranda's Perfume Store Airport Hangar Clark's Apartment Plane Nondescript Apartment Hallway Plane --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Pheromone, My Lovely_" _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 30 DAY 1 SC. 31 - 50 DAY 2 SC. 51 - 60 NIGHT 2 SC. 61 - 74 DAY 3 SC. 75 - 80 NIGHT 3 SC. 81 - 102 DAY 4 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY_" _TEASER_ FADE IN: 1 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING (DAY #1) 1 Clark is deep in Morpheus' arms until the piercing RING of his alarm clock jerks him awake. Instinctively he reaches over to pound the SNOOZE button, but instead _FLATTENS THE_ _ALARM CLOCK INTO A PANCAKE_. Clark looks at his handiwork, shakes his head, then jumps out of bed and into his closet, exiting moment's later, fully dressed for work. 2 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MORNING 2 Clark makes himself a super breakfast. First, he takes two eggs, cracks them open, throws them on a plate and _FRIES THEM WITH HIS HEAT VISION_. Next, he reaches in the fridge, takes out a full gallon of milk, downs it, then tosses it out of the window above his sink. 3 EXT. ALLEY UNDER CLARK'S APARTMENT - SAME TIME 3 The milk container lands in the garbage bin just as a garbage man arrives to push the bin towards his truck. 4 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 4 Clark finishes his breakfast, hears the sound of GARBAGE TRUCKS in the distance, then a look of horror comes over his face as he remembers... what has he done? He _MOVES_ _INTO HYPER-SPEED OUT THE DOOR_. 5 EXT. ALLEY UNDER CLARK'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 5 Clark, now in his Superman garb, races down the alley and toward the street. 6 EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF CLARK'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS 6 Superman _FLIES DOWN THE STREET_ toward the garbage truck. He lands, stops the truck by holding onto the side panels. 7 CLOSE UP - TRUCK DRIVER 7 He looks in his rear-view mirror. What happened? --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 2. 8 BACK TO SCENE 8 Superman reaches into the truck just as its metal jaws * are closing, finds the empty milk carton. * 9 EXT. ALLEY UNDER CLARK'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 9 Superman _FLIES BACK INTO THE ALLEY_, _LANDS_, but, this time, puts the carton of milk into the Recycling Canister near the trash bin. A little boy has just finished emptying a plastic bag into the trash and stares up at Superman in awe. Superman turns to him and smiles. SUPERMAN Remember, recycle. It's not * just garbage, anymore. * FADE OUT: _END OF TEASER_ --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 3. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 10 INT. DAILY PLANET CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 10 The usual suspects convene at the early morning staff meeting. All are tired grumpy, badly in need of caffeine. PERRY takes that first important sip, winces as he swallows. PERRY Dishwater! LOIS Even my coffee's better than this. PERRY How's a newspaper supposed to run without a decent cup of Java?! CAT Anyone for herbal tea? Does wonders for the complexion. (beat) You should try it, Lois. Really, you should. PERRY Clark, the dockworker strike. CLARK (pointing to the newsroom) See those two guys? 11 IN THE NEWSROOM 11 One man in a suit, the other in rough, workmen's clothes are in each other's faces. * 12 BACK TO CONFERENCE ROOM 12 CLARK Negotiations have broken down again. I'm interviewing the union _and_ management reps... separately. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 4. 12 CONTINUED: 12 PERRY Good idea. Lois, about that article you wrote on the fruit fly infestation -- could you maybe, if it isn't too much trouble, give it another go? And this time, put some zing into it! LOIS Happy to, Chief. It's such an... (Purposeful yawn) ...exhilarating subject matter. JIMMY Here's what I don't understand. If this malathion spray is so safe, how come they tell you to put your pets inside when they're using it? PERRY Precautionary measure. * Just then the door to the conference room opens and REHALIA, The fifty-ish Ecuadorian janitoress enters to empty the trash bins. She hesitates for a moment, but Perry waves her inside. PERRY That's okay, Rehalia, come on in. (back to the troops) I suppose we should lead with the latest counter-revolution in Russia. CLARK I believe it's counter, counter-revolution, Chief. PERRY Who can keep track... what the Sam Hill's going on? 13 PERRY'S POV - IN THE PIT 13 Cameras, lighting equipment, and a model's runway are being hauled in followed by troops of technicians, denim-clad photographers and their assistants. CAT Chief, you remember. Today's the day they're using the newsroom as a backdrop to introduce that new fragrance... 'Exclusive.' Marketing set it up. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 4A. 13 CONTINUED: 13 PERRY Marketing... no, I don't remember. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 5. 13 CONTINUED: 13 CAT It's been on for months. (beat) Look, there's Elle Taylor, and... Rachel Roberts and _April_ _Stephens_! I have to get an interview... Cat looks to Perry who nods and Cat's out the door. LOIS How're we supposed to get any work done around here? Jimmy's staring at the girls as they file in. JIMMY Who cares? Chief, look at _her_. Jimmy points but Perry turns away. PERRY I _can't_ look, Jimmy. Alice would have my hide. CLARK How would she find out? PERRY The woman has spies everywhere. JIMMY You don't think there's any small possibility that a girl like that would go out with a man like me? (off their looks) Thought so. CUT TO: 14 INT. LEX LUTHOR'S STUDY - DAY 14 Two Fencers, in masks and full gear, duel the length of the room, knocking over furniture, smashing a vase, etc... one leaps up on the desk to escape certain death, then leaps off again to thrust, finds an opening in his attacker's side. A tiny spot of blood seeps through the material. The fencers remove their masks. The victor is LEX LUTHOR, who bows to his Fencing Partner, who returns the bow, then exits the room, holding his side. NIGEL enters. NIGEL A Ms. Miranda to see you, sir. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 6. 14 CONTINUED: 14 Luthor isn't pleased, glances at the clock. LUTHOR All right, Nigel, show her in. Two minutes only. NIGEL Very good, sir. Luthor moves to his desk to light a cigar as Nigel shows MIRANDA, a beautiful woman dressed in eclectic, ethnic attire, inside. Would that her beauty matched her mood... MIRANDA You cut me off, you rotten son of a... LUTHOR Temper, temper, Miranda. There's no reason to resort to name calling. MIRANDA You cancelled my funding! How am I supposed to continue my research? LUTHOR Miranda. Let's face facts. Two years ago you walked into this office and offered me a working, practical application of your theory within six months. You claimed that by adding an animal pheromone to your perfume it would cause the person wearing it to lose all their inhibitions and... MIRANDA But I've done it! I can prove it to you! True, the solid compound wasn't working but I reduced it to a liquid and... LUTHOR Sorry , Miranda. In the final analysis, I do not fund losers. Miranda takes another tack. She slowly, sensually approaches him, running her hands along his chest. MIRANDA What about... us? LUTHOR Us? You were an itch. You've been scratched. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 7. 14 CONTINUED: 2 14 Miranda pushes him away, wild with emotions MIRANDA You can't treat me like this. It was a labor of love, for you... all for you! Nigel enters, paying no attention to Miranda's rantings. NIGEL Excuse me, sir. Lois Lane is on the phone, confirming your dinner Friday night? LUTHOR Yes, Nigel. I'll take that call. I believe Miranda's time is up. Will you kindly show her out? Luthor turns his back to her, picks up the phone. Miranda looks down at the table, picks up a copy of the Daily Planet. 15 CLOSE UP - DAILY PLANET 15 The headline by-line reads: Lois Lane. LUTHOR (O.S.) (into phone) Lois? How are you? Yes, I'm looking forward to seeing you as well. 16 NIGEL 16 takes Miranda by the arm and leads her out. She's still clutching the newspaper as we... WIPE TO: 17 INT. MIRANDA'S PERFUME SHOP - DAY 17 in the darkened room, Miranda sits at her desk. Daru, her black cat, sits in her lap as Miranda strokes her soft fur. Miranda sighs, utterly disconsolate, then reaches for an ancient-looking letter opener and slices open some of her mail. One particular note strikes her interest. 18 CLOSE UP - INVITATION 18 It says: You are invited to attend the premiere party of our newest fragrance, "Exclusive," at the world famous * Daily Planet. --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 8. 19 MIRANDA 19 puts the invitation in her pocket. She picks up Daru, gently puts her down on the floor. Then, she reaches for a vial of liquid on her desk and a funnel, repeating the words she said to Luthor. MIRANDA I can prove it to you. WIPE TO: 20 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - LATER THAT SAME DAY 20 The newsroom has been transformed into a veritable perfume/fashion show complete with models and a runway. As the models move in and out of the crowd, they spray everyone with the new fragrance. Photographers are everywhere, snapping pictures. Lois, Clark and Jimmy huddle outside Perry's office. Lois philosophizes, while Clark and Jimmy soak up the view. LOIS (disgusted) The beautiful people. JIMMY (awestruck) Yeah. LOIS It's such a sad comment on society. Dress a certain way, smell a certain way, and the world will love you. A gorgeous model passes by and gives Clark the eye. CLARK Yeah. Sad, Lois, very sad. LOIS Anyway, like I said before, we'll never get anything done today. CLARK So... why don't we take the day off? LOIS Because it's a work day, Clark. CLARK Haven't you ever played hookey, Lois? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 9. 20 CONTINUED: 20 LOIS Never. (off his look) I was student body president in high school and college. I had to set an example. Besides, what's so great about playing hookey? CLARK Being someplace, doing something you're not supposed to be doing. It's just, you know... fun. LOIS I had a lot of fun in high school. Chess club. Math club. Year book editor. CLARK Wow. LOIS What are you saying, Clark? That I'm not fun? That I'm not a fun person? Clark looks at Lois, her hands on hips, and looks around for an escape route. Lois turns to Jimmy... JIMMY I didn't say a word! Suddenly, without warning, a Woman, dressed in a "peasant" blouse, long skirt, shawl, and wearing a hat that covers her eyes, appears in front of them and positions her atomizer in the spray position. It's Miranda... MIRANDA Have you tried my new fragrance? LOIS No, thank you. I don't wear... PERRY (stepping out from his office) Lois, about those fruit flies Then, the Woman sprays: Lois, Clark, Perry and Jimmy get dosed. LOIS (Cont'd) ...perfume. Perry, Clark and Jimmy try to wave the odor off as Miranda quickly disappears into the crowd. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 10. 20 CONTINUED: 2 20 PERRY Smells like eau de sweatsocks. JIMMY What died? Perry goes back into his office. Jimmy and Clark are still waving the scent away. LOIS That stuff's probably three hundred dollars for a quarter ounce. Highway robbery! 21 ANOTHER ANGLE - CAT AND APRIL 21 * Cat Grant sits in a corner with APRIL, taking down everything she says. CAT The rumors about you and Kevin... APRIL We're just friends, really. CAT Uh huh. And that story about you and Mel. APRIL No comment. Miranda continues to circulate, spraying her fragrance at news staffers on her way out of the pit and up into the lobby. DISSOLVE TO: 22 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - LATER 22 The runway and, for the most part, the beautiful people have gone, the newsroom having settled down to a peaceful buzz. 23 LOIS 23 sits at her desk, staring at Clark Kent. Unconsciously, she starts unbuttoning the first two buttons of her blouse. Clark, hunched over his computer, fails to notice. Lois pulls out a compact, puts some lipstick on, then gets up, and very sexily strolls over to Clark's desk, sits on the edge of it, crosses her legs, hiking up her skirt in the process. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 11. 23 CONTINUED: 23 LOIS (singsong) Clark. Clark continues typing into his work processor. CLARK Just a sec, Lois, I... Then, Clark sees the leg, looks slowly up to the unbuttoned blouse, the strange, dreamy-eyed expression on Lois' face. LOIS What'cha working on? CLARK The dock strike. You know, the two sides aren't really that far apart. LOIS (moving closer, huskily) How far apart are they, really? CLARK Lois... are you feeling okay? LOIS Never better. (moving even closer) I just... couldn't help noticing how very... handsome you look today. CLARK Handsome? LOIS Very. CLARK (laughing) Oh. I get it. What do you want? Research? Your VCR fixed? A ride to the airport? Blind date with your cousin? LOIS No. I don't want anything. Except... you. On Clark, seriously confused we... CUT TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 12. 24 INT. PERRY WHITE'S OFFICE - DAY 24 Perry has his feet up on the desk, listening to the sounds of Elvis' "Burning Love." Just then, Rehalia comes inside to empty the trash. As she bends over to retrieve it, Perry sits up, staring at her ample backside. On Perry, a strange lascivious grin on his face, we... WIPE TO: 25 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - DAY 25 Jimmy watches as cat finishes up her interview with April. The women stand, shake hands. Cat walks off, while April searches for her compact in her purse. Jimmy stands, pulls up his collar, puts on his photographer's vest, and casually strolls over to April, now powdering her face. Jimmy, a sly, insouciant smile on his lips, leans against a desk, trying his damnedest to be Mr. Cool. JIMMY Hey there. April looks up at him, then continues with her powdering. JIMMY (Cont'd) The name's Olsen. James Olsen. I guess you've heard of me. APRIL No, I haven't. JIMMY No problem. Most people just know me through my photographs. Bosnia? Bierut? Nam? Jimmy's gone a little far with "Nam." April isn't buying. APRIL Look, James... JIMMY You can call me Jimmy. Listen, let's cut to the chase. You like what _you_ see. I like what _I_ see. Shall we say, cocktails, tomorrow night, your place? April snaps her powder compact shut, breezes by with a sneer. Jimmy, undaunted, remains in the same position. JIMMY (Cont'd) Okay. No problem. My place. WIPE TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 13. 26 INT. COPY ROOM - DAY 26 * Cat is angrily pounding on the machine, which has failed to deliver her needed copies. The door opens and in walks PHIL, a plain, balding man in his forties. He's the copy * repair man to the rescue. PHIL What seems to be the problem? CAT This thing ate my original. PHIL Let's take a look. Phil opens the copy machine, starts fiddling with it. * Cat has taken an unusual interest in him, stands and stares with her arms folded across her chest. CAT You're pretty deft at this... I mean, it looks like you know what you're doing. PHIL I've always been good with my hands. CAT Really? Cat starts moving closer to him as we... WIPE TO: 27 INT. DAILY PLANET - LUNCHEONETTE AREA - DAY 27 Lois chases after Clark, pins him up against the candy machine. CLARK Lois, please. Get a grip. LOIS Believe me, I'd love to. CLARK Lois, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but this is making me very... uncomfortable. LOIS Let's get out of here. CLARK Out of here? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 14. 27 CONTINUED: 27 LOIS Yes. CLARK _Now_ you want to play hookey? LOIS Desperately. CLARK But... we have work to do. LOIS Forget about work, forget about time, forget about the rest of the world. * Just then Perry's door flings open and a screaming * Rehalia exits, with Perry calling after her. PERRY Wait! Mi amor! My peach pie! Te * adoro! * Clark manages to slip out of Lois' grasp, walks up to * Perry. CLARK Chief? What happened... is * Rehalia okay? PERRY 'Okay' doesn't begin to describe her. I want to shower her with gifts, build her a golden pedestal, adore her. She's everything I've dreamed of. CLARK What about your wife? PERRY My wife? CLARK Yes. Alice. Your wife. The woman who has spies everywhere. PERRY Plenty of love to go around, son. Perry takes off in pursuit of Rehalia. Clark is very frustrated, doesn't know how to stop the madness. CLARK Elvis never cheated on Priscilla! (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 15. 27 CONTINUED: 2 27 PERRY (over his shoulder) He never met Rehalia! Lois is tugging at Clark's sleeve. CLARK Lois, just a minute. Clark sees something unusual. He reaces toward... 28 THE COPY ROOM 28 * The door is closed. We can hear the copy machine going * at FULL TILT, with tiny wafts of smoke coming from under the door. Clark _X-RAYS_ through the door, but then, immediately shuts his eyes, amazed as to what he has just seen and what we can only imagine. He turns back and runs back into... 29 LOIS 29 LOIS Minute's up, Clark. Come to mama. 30 AT THE ELEVATOR STATION 30 Miranda surveys her handiwork. Love's got a stranglehold on the Daily Planet and so we... FADE OUT. _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 16. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 31 INT. DAILY PLANET CONFERENCE ROOM - (DAY #2) 31 CLOSE ON today's banner headline: "Dockworkers Embrace New Profit-Sharing Plan." The photo is of the union and management reps hugging each other. PULL BACK to reveal the usual suspects, minus Clark and Cat, just assembled. But, something's very different. No grumpy, whiny staffers are these. They're bright-eyed, bushy tailed, in their sharpest duds and ready for love. Jimmy hasn't shaven, going for the "rough" look of a battle weary photojournalist. Perry enters. PERRY Good morning everyone! And a beautiful morning it is. LOIS Perry, have you seen Clark? PERRY Nope. Maybe he had an early meeting. LOIS (miserable) His phone was off the hook all night. PERRY Where's Cat? JIMMY She's here. She's in the copy * room. LOIS Still? JIMMY Yeah. She even asked me if there were any reports _I_ needed copied. PERRY Okay, our lead story for the next edition is obvious. NEWSROOM STAFFER Russia? The counter-revolution? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 17. 31 CONTINUED: 31 PERRY Revolution! Who cares? That's not what the people want to read. Now _this_ is a story. A man and woman meet on a train, fall in love, but then, somehow, they lose * each other. Thirty years later, on that same train, they see one * another from across the room... (holding a handkerchief to his eyes) ...it just... breaks me up. Lois is suddenly teary-eyed as well. She and Perry hug, * then several other staffers join them in a mass hug-in. Jimmy wiping away a tear, heads for the door. JIMMY Chief, I can't stay for the meeting. I have something much more important to do. PERRY Go ahead, son. Jimmy dashes out of the conference room. Perry smiles after him. PERRY (Cont'd) Love that kid. WIPE TO: 32 INT. LUTHOR'S STUDY - DAY 32 Luthor sits at his desk, buried in paperwork, when the door opens and his fencing partner, in full regalia, enters. Luthor looks up. LUTHOR Oh, Emil. I didn't see you on my schedule... if you'll wait a few moments, I'll... But the masked fencer will not wait, walks up to Luthor's desk and points the blade at his chest. Luthor drops his * pen, stares up at his attacker. LUTHOR (Cont'd) If you;re upset about our last session, then please let me make it up to you. The fencer thrusts the blade a tiny bit. A tiny trickle * of blood seeps through his shirt. * (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 18. 32 CONTINUED: 32 Luthor's eyes grow wide with fear as the fencer now removes the mask. It's Miranda. LUTHOR (Cont'd) (controlled) Miranda. What a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you? MIRANDA You wouldn't return my calls, so I decided to get your attention in my own way. LUTHOR You've got it. MIRANDA Call your man. Tell him to have the car brought around. LUTHOR Are we going somewhere? MIRANDA _You_ are. To the Daily Planet. I think you'll find it... interesting. Miranda removes the blade from Luthor's chest, tosses a * Copy of the Daily Planet newspaper in front of him, turns and walks out. Luthor picks up the newspaper. 33 CLOSE UP - THE DAILY PLANET 33 The "o's" in the Daily Planet ' headline are in the shape * of hearts. The headline reads: Couple Reunited! Love * wins out! 34 LUTHOR 34 sits for a moment, then presses his intercom. LUTHOR Nigel. Have the car brought around. WIPE TO: 35 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - DAY 35 Clark gets off the elevator, walks into the lobby area. He looks down into the newsroom, stops dead in his tracks. --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 19. 36 LOIS - CLARK'S POV 36 Lois is running toward him, _IN SLO MO_, to the strains of "Love is a Many Splendored Thing." She wears a white lace dress, her hair half up, half down, with flowers in it. When she reaches Clark, she flings herself into his arms. LOIS Clark! Where have you been, my darling?! Clark has no choice but to hold her, over her shoulder, he gets a better look at the newsroom... 37 THE PIT - CLARK'S POV 37 It's a whole new world. News staff walk hand in hand, hearts and flowers everywhere, and piped-in MUSAK from the "love" station. 38 CLARK 38 takes Lois by the hand. CLARK Lois. come with me. We have to talk. LOIS Yes. We do. I have so much to say. 39 ANOTHER ANGLE 39 Jimmy sits, staring at the monitor of his computer. He's going through addresses, cross-references, finally sees... 40 ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN 40 The name: April Stephens. The address: 55 West Elm #11. 41 JIMMY 41 sits back, exhausted, but utterly happy. JIMMY Eureka. * --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 20. 42 INT. PERRY WHITE'S OFFICE - DAY 42 Rehalia, hand on hip, stands in front of Perry's desk. She speaks in a lusty latino accent. REHALIA My husband says I should file a harassment suit against you. PERRY If that's what you want, then go ahead. But nothing can keep me from proclaiming my love. I won't force anything. I'm content to adore you from afar. Listen... I've composed a little something... (pulls out a piece of paper) I call 'it 'Rehalia.' (singing) I plucked a rose. I smelled its dew. That fragrant scent, embodies you. Rehalia, Rehalia. 43 REHALIA 43 takes this in for a moment, then snidely responds. REHALIA 'I smelled its dew?' Dew doesn't smell. 44 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - SAME TIME 44 Clark leads Lois to a quiet spot in the pit. They pass by the copy room. We can still HEAR the machine running at full tilt. Clark sits Lois in a chair, sits in front of her, desperately trying to get through. CLARK Lois. Listen to me. You are not in control. * LOIS I know that, Clark. For the first time in my life... CLARK No, no... There is something very strange going on around here. LOIS Yes. Strange and... wonderful. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 21. 44 CONTINUED: 44 CLARK Lois! You're not yourself! You've changed, _everybody_ around here has changed. LOIS But, for the better. CLARK Lois, snap out of it! I need you to help me figure out what's happened. Please. Concentrate. LOIS Okay. CLARK Good. Now, it all started yesterday afternoon. LOIS I remember. CLARK (scrambling for an answer) It seems to have affected almost everyone in the newsroom. Maybe something we drank or ate? Lois sits on Clark's lap. LOIS I had Chinese Chicken salad from Wong's. You had a steak sandwich. With fries. Clark picks Lois up and sits her back down on her chair. CLARK What else? The models were here, with the perfume. (considering) The perfume. Just then, Jimmy walks by, carrying a stack of black and white photos. Clark stops him. CLARK (Cont'd) Jimmy, what're those? JIMMY Photos from yesterday's show. Jimmy shows Clark a picture of April. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 22. 44 CONTINUED: 2 44 JIMMY (Cont'd) Beautiful, isn't she? And she's all mine. CLARK Jimmy, be careful. I... don't want you to get hurt. JIMMY Hurt? How could _I_ get hurt? Jimmy walks off, leaving Clark to stare after him, shaking his head. Clark takes the photos, spreads them out on a nearby table. LOIS What're we looking for? CLARK I don't know. But remember when... there. Clark points to a picture of himself, Lois, Jimmy and Perry being sprayed by Miranda. Clark studies her face, as much as he can underneath the hat, then lowers his glasses and uses his _TELESCOPIC VISION_ to zero in on the perfume atomizer. 45 CLOSE UP - PERFUME ATOMIZER 45 Leaded glass, hand-blown shape, antique, very rare. 46 ANOTHER ANGLE 46 Lex Luthor has stepped off the elevator, looks around, amazed at the transformation. He walks down the ramp, sees Lois and Clark, walks toward them. Perry passes by, on his way out. LUTHOR Good morning, Perry. PERRY Gotta run, Lex. Love waits for no man. 47 CLARK AND LOIS 47 Clark looks like he's had an inspiration. He stands, but Lois grabs onto his hand. LOIS Where're you going? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 23. 47 CONTINUED: 47 CLARK Just downstairs, to the newsstand. * LOIS I'll come with you. CLARK I'll be right back. * LOIS Cross your heart and hope to die? CLARK (wearily) Scout's honor. Lois hugs him. 48 LUTHOR 48 watches-the byplay between Lois and Clark with much interest. When Clark walks off toward his desk, Luthor approaches her. She still stares dreamily after Clark. LUTHOR Lois? LOIS Oh. Lex. LUTHOR Things have certainly changed around here. LOIS Have they? I hadn't noticed. LUTHOR (that's odd...) You hadn't... (beat) Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night? LOIS Sure. But please understand something. There's only one man in the world for me. (beat) Clark Kent. Lois watches as Clark runs up the steps to the elevators. Luthor turns and watches this as well. On his smile we... CUT TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 24. 49 EXT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 49 Luthor exits the Daily Planet. Nigel opens the door to * his limo. * * LUTHOR Nigel, call Miranda. Ask her to come to my study tomorrow at 5:00. NIGEL Very good, sir. (beat) You'll forgive me for asking, sir, but I thought you had... cancelled her. LUTHOR Well, I've had a change of heart. It seems I was wrong about her. Apparently, she has developed a formula that renders people incapable of resisting their animal urges. NIGEL And that would be of some service to you? LUTHOR Oh, yes, yes indeed. You see, I've always thought of myself as an opportunist, and what we have here is an... opportunity. If you control men's hearts, their minds will follow. For example, a politician, owned by me, is losing in the polls. A dashing fellow, but the kind that women love only from afar. The night before * elections, a little whiff through * the auditorium, the theater... the * result... a landslide. Or, I wish to by a company or two at a bargain price. A spray here, a dab there... how could they deny me? NIGEL Very ingenious. LUTHOR Thank you, Nigel. That's what, as they say, I get the big bucks for. CUT TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 25. 50 OMITTED 50 51 INT. NONDESCRIPT APARTMENT HALLWAY - (NIGHT #2) 51 Perry stops in front of an apartment doorway, sets down his portable radio. He wears black leather pants, black leather jacket. He positions himself, Elvis Style, then turns on the radio. To the strains of "Burning Love," he starts singing. "I'm just a hunka hunka burning love..." It's not long before other apartment doors start opening and slamming. Finally, the door he wants to open, opens, but standing in front of Rehalia is her 6'3" husband, whose immense fist fills the screen en route to Perry's nose. WIPE TO: 52 EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF MEMBERS ONLY CLUB - NIGHT 52 Jimmy, driving a shiny, newly-rented Corvette, stops in * front of the club, hops out. He wears a "Miami Vice" suit, loafers with no socks. 53 JIMMY 53 walks casually past the gargantuan bouncer/doorman, HANS, who stops him. HANS Members only. JIMMY No problem. Jimmy reaches in his pocket, takes out a five, slips it to Hans. Hans looks at the bill, puts it in his mouth and chews. Just then, April and several of her VIP friends exit the club. Jimmy- slips in front of April, still playing Mr. Debonaire. JIMMY (Cont'd) April... I didn't know you were a member here. APRIL Are you? JIMMY Me? No way. I hate these kind of places. I prefer to spend my nights by a roaring fire. A glass of wine. A beautiful woman. (beat) Let's stop playing games, April. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 26. 53 CONTINUED: 53 JIMMY (CONT'D) Hop in and let me show you what you've been missing. April stares at him, then... APRIL Hans! Hans approaches Jimmy, who puts his hands up. JIMMY Okay, big boy. I get the picture. April turns and walks down the street with her friends. Jimmy stares after her. 54 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS 54 Jimmy, devastated, walks past his sports car and starts to cross the street without looking. Suddenly he looks up, * sees a TRUCK headed right for him, HORN BLARING. 55 EXT. NIGHT SKY 55 Superman FLIES in the darkened sky, stops, looks down, sees Jimmy... ZOOMS downward. 56 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - CONTINUOUS 56 The truck is inches away. Just in time, Superman SWOOPS Jimmy up in his arms. * SUPERMAN Jimmy? Are you all right? Jimmy seems to snap out of it, momentarily. JIMMY I think so. What happened? SUPERMAN Come on. I better take you home. Superman FLIES off, carrying Jimmy as we... * WIPE TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 27. 57 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT 57 Clark sits on the floor in his living room, glasses off, with several women's magazines spread out in front of * him. We notice his phone has been taken off the hook. At _SUPERSPEED_, Clark flips through the magazine, paying particular attention to the advertisements, stopping, every once in a while, to look at a perfume bottle at regular speed. Finally, he flips through a large fashion magazine, stops and stares when he finds... 58 CLOSE UP - ADVERTISEMENT 58 The Woman who sprayed him in the Daily Planet stands behind the counter of a tiny store with hundreds of perfume bottles. The name of the shop is: Miranda's. 59 CLARK 59 Checks her photograph, and one of the atomizers against the black and white photo Jimmy had, then smiles, writes down the information. He hears his doorbell RING, puts his glasses on, jumps up to answer it. When he flings open the door, he's amazed to see... 60 LOIS 60 standing in the doorway, wearing a trench coat. CLARK Lois. (looking at his watch) It's very late. LOIS Not too late, I hope. For us. For happiness. Lois unties the trench coat. She's wearing a harem outfit. * CLARK Oh, no. Lois, please don't. Lois walks inside, kicks the door closed behind her. She steps in front of Clark, puts her arms around him. LOIS (deadly serious) I love you, Clark Kent. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. CLARK Lois, please, go home. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 28. 60 CONTINUED: 60 LOIS You're here. This _is_ my home. CLARK (frustrated beyond belief) Lois, you don't know how much I've thought about, dreamt about this very moment... but it's not real. I mean, what you're feeling isn't real. I don't know exactly how, but there was something in the perfume that affected people in the newsroom. Made them drunk... on love. Lois, I just can't take advantage of you this way. Lois, undaunted, won't let go. She stares deeply into his eyes. LOIS You know, it's remarkable. I never noticed before. CLARK What? LOIS That you look a lot like... Superman. On Clark, his eyes wide with apprehension we... FADE OUT: _END ACT TWO_ --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 29. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 61 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - MORNING (DAY #3) 61 Clark has had a tough night. Still dressed in last night's clothes, he paces up and down in front of the sofa. A tray of food is on the floor and every time he comes to it he just _LEVITATES A FOOT OFF THE FLOOR_, then comes down to continue his pacing. 62 IN THE SLEEPING AREA 62 Lois stirs, awakens, sits up, puts her hand over her forehead, feels like she has a hangover. She gets out of bed, unaware that she still has on her harem outfit, then * slowly lifts her head, looks around as if to say -- where the hell am I? 63 CLARK 63 meanwhile, may be super, but he's still a man and can no longer resist Lois' offer. He walks toward the bedroom area just as Lois appears and starts toward him. Clark takes her in his arms. CLARK Lois, I can't take it anymore. if you really want me. I'm yours. Lois, incredulous, pushes him away. LOIS Have you lost your mind?! Then, Lois realizes where she is, what she's wearing. LOIS (Cont'd) Oh my... have I lost _my_ mind?! on Clark, realizing... on Lois, realizing... we WIPE TO: 64 INT. CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT - ONE HOUR LATER 64 Lois and Clark sit on the sofa, as far away from each other as possible. Lois, now wearing her trench coat, * has her head in her hands, far too embarrassed for words. There's coffee on the coffee table. Lois takes a sip. Clark looks over to her. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 30. 64 CONTINUED: 64 CLARK Are you feeling better? LOIS No. CLARK Are you going to talk to me? LOIS No. (beat) I am so humiliated. CLARK Lois, I told you, you weren't yourself. It's just lucky that the stuff wore off in time... uh, to stop you from _further_ humiliating yourself. LOIS (beat) Did I really do the Dance of the Seven Veils? Clark nods and Lois gives an audible grunt of complete misery. CLARK Lois, please. Let's forget about last night. We have to find this Miranda. We have to find out what's in this stuff, and how and why she's using it. But Lois still can't forget. CLARK (Cont'd) Lois. I need you. I need my partner back. Lois thinks about this a minute, then jumps up. LOIS I'm going home to get dressed. I'll meet you back here in one hour. Lois grabs her purse, keys, and veils and harem outfit, * heads for the door. LOIS (Cont'd) And don't even _think_ of making me wait. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 31. 64 CONTINUED: 2 64 After she exits, Clark smiles. CLARK She's back. WIPE TO: 65 EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF MIRANDA'S PERFUME SHOP - DAY 65 It's a street like Melrose, with lots of arty boutiques. Lois exits a cab to find Clark waiting for her. They enter Miranda's tiny shop. 66 INT. MIRANDA'S PERFUME SHOP 66 As they enter, CHIMES above the door ring out. With the lights on, we now get a much better look at the place. The shop is small, but fascinating. The shelves are lined with hundreds of antique perfume bottles the cabinets full of incense, soaps, candles and scenes in every shape and form. There is a working area on one side of the shop, with Miranda's desk, many extracts, vials and a microscope. Lois and Clark wander around the shop. From the back, through a curtain, Miranda appears, recognizes them. She puts on her best behavior. MIRANDA Looking for something in particular? LOIS Uh, no. Not really. MIRANDA A gift? Something for a friend whose love has soured? Try my * Jungle Passion. Pure white petals, picked from a flower grown only in * Micronesia. I have a wide selection. A scent for every occasion. CLARK You make all the perfumes? MIRANDA Yes. I was trained as a chemist. Many perfumers are. In fact the * goal of a fine perfumer is to * cause a 'chemical reaction.' * (slyly) Haven't we met before? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 32. 66 CONTINUED: 66 CLARK I think we have. I'm Clark Kent. This is Lois Lane, from the Daily Planet. MIRANDA Oh, yes. I was there, yesterday, sampling the competition's new fragrance, and trying out one of my new ones as well. CLARK Yours had an interesting odor. Animal based? MIRANDA You have a remarkable olfactory sense, Mr. Kent. Yes, that particular perfume is quite rare. CLARK What do you call it? MIRANDA I call it , simply, 'Revenge.' * Just then, Daru leaps upon one of the cabinets, momentarily frightening Lois. After she catches her breath... LOIS Can you tell us the ingredients? MIRANDA Come now, Ms. Lane. Surely you don't expect me to give away _all_ my secrets? Lois pushes Clark away and faces her head on. As she does so, Clark takes the opportunity to _SCAN THE ROOM WITH HIS_ _TELESCOPIC VISION_. When he finds the atomizer he's looking for, at _SUPER-SPEED_, he slips it into his coat pocket. LOIS Look. Let's cut the niceties. Whatever witches brew you sprayed us with made half the newsroom go looney tunes in love. Miranda smiles, which infuriates Lois even more. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 33. 66 CONTINUED: 266 LOIS (Cont'd) It's not funny. People were hurt by what you did, humiliated... Jimmy -- friend of mine -- almost _got killed_. MIRANDA You're not suggesting I had anything to do with _that_, are you? I just sell perfume. LOIS Perfume that makes people crazy. MIRANDA You know, Ms. Lane, animals are ruled by their sense of smell. We humans think we've evolved beyond that. I'm not so sure. Even so, I have no idea what you're talking about. Clark focuses on the carotid artery in Miranda's neck. He can HEAR her heartbeat racing... LOIS I doubt that very much. I intend to make a full report to the police. Not planning on leaving town, are you? MIRANDA Forgive me, Ms. Lane, but the unfounded suspicions of two reporters hardly qualifies as a criminal investigation. Where I go or what I do is frankly, none of your business. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. On Lois, double frustrated, we... CUT TO: 67 EXT. MIRANDA'S STORE - DAY 67 Lois and Clark exit the store, walk down the street. LOIS She's lying. CLARK I know. Her pulse rate was over one-fifty. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, NY LOVELY (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/21/93 34. 67 CONTINUED: 67 LOIS (stopping to face him) How do you know that? CLARK Uh... it's just an expression, Lois. You know, like... (scrambling) ... 'she was going a mile a minute,' 'her pulse rate was over one-fifty.' LOIS Huh. Must be one of those Kansas expressions. (beat) So, we know she did it. How can we prove it? Clark pats the atomizer in his pocket. On his grin, we... WIPE TO: 68 OMITTED 68 69 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 69 * Lois and Clark arrive back at the Planet after their * visit to a government lab. * LOIS Pheromones. Never heard of 'em. * CLARK Sure you have. Pheromones. 'A chemical substance secreted by animals which produces specific responses to other individuals of the same species.' LOIS What'd you do, memorize the dictionary? CLARK I'm a speed reader. LOIS Luckily, the stuff wears off within 48 hours. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 35. 69 CONTINUED: 69 CLARK Depending on a person's metabolic rate. LOIS I still don't get it. I mean, Dr. Friedman said this stuff shouldn't work unless you're already physically attracted to the person. Then, it just over-rides our normal restraint. CLARK Right. There has to be some animal magnetism there to begin with. All this substance does is inhibit that part of your brain that acts as an intellectual defense mechanism, leaving the person helpless to control themselves. Lois thinks about this a moment, then... LOIS But that would mean I found you... (beat) Clark, you got sprayed. How come you didn't fall for me? CLARK Uh... I guess I just wasn't... attracted to you, Lois. LOIS Liar. You are _so_ attracted to me. CLARK Guess not. LOIS Guess so. A stand-off. Then... CLARK Can we get back to the story now? LOIS Fine by me. What was in the fax Jimmy sent you? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Yellow Rev. 10/21/93 36. 69 CONTINUED: 2 69 CLARK Bio on Miranda. (reading) first in her class at M.I.T. (beat) Guess who funded her research? Luthor Industries. LOIS He funds half the scientists in Metropolis. He probably doesn't even know who she is. But I'll ask him about her tonight. CLARK Tonight? LOIS We're having dinner. (can't help the dig) _He_ finds me very attractive. WIPE TO: 70 EXT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 70 To establish. --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 37. 71 INT. DAILY PLANET - COPY ROOM - DAY 71 Cat tries copying a document as Phil watches. When the copy comes out, an exact duplicate, she stares at it in disgust. CAT (to herself) Perfect. PHIL (disappointed) * Well, I guess my work is done. * I've got other service calls to make. * CAT Not so fast. Cat opens the top of the machine, looks around the room, opens a drawer. She takes out a hammer, smiling, and to Phil's horror, approaches the copier as we... CUT TO: 72 INT. DAILY PLANET - ELEVATORS - DAY 72 Lois and Clark exit an elevator, walk toward the pit. They notice that, for the most part, hearts and flowers are being carted out. CLARK I guess it's worn off here, too. LOIS I'm not so sure. They pass by Jimmy, who takes Clark aside. JIMMY C.K., can you lend me some money? CLARK No problem. Twenty do? JIMMY I need eight hundred. CLARK For what? JIMMY I saw this dress -- for April. CLARK Jimmy, stop trying to impress her. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 38. 72 CONTINUED: 72 JIMMY I can't help it. I'm making a fool out of myself, but... I can't stop. CLARK Don't worry. It'll be over soon enough. Clark pats Jimmy on the back, walks off. 73 INT. PERRY WHITE'S OFFICE - DAY 73 Lois and Clark enter. Perry is at his desk, his head buried in his hands. When he picks his head up we can see that his nose is bandaged. Lois gasps. CLARK Chief, what happened? LOIS Does it hurt? PERRY Only when I laugh, although there's very little danger of that happening in the near future. Some legal documents lie in front of him on the desk. Clark picks one up. CLARK (reading) ... sexual harassment... Rehalia... PERRY That's not the worst part. (beat) Alice threw me out, called me a 'no good hound dog.' Now I'm livin' at the heartbreak hotel. One-hundred * and fifty-nine bucks a night. * LOIS Chief, you have a defense. A complete defense. CLARK We found out that a research chemist sprayed a pheromone compound on us... PERRY Pherawhat? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 39. 73 CONTINUED: 73 LOIS Pheromone. CLARK It made all of us... LOIS Some of us... CLARK ... fall wildly in love. Completely beyond our control. Perry thinks about this for a second, straightens up. PERRY Well, that'll take care of the lawsuit. But not Alice. She'll never have me back. LOIS Fight for her, Chief. CLARK Shower _her_ with presents. Write _her_ poems. Put _her_ on a golden pedestal. Tell _her_ you _worship_ her. Perry thinks for a minute, brightens for a second, then sags again. PERRY She'll never buy it. WIPE TO: 74 INT. LEX LUTHOR'S STUDY - DAY 74 Miranda enters to find Luthor waiting. He stands to greet her, kisses her hand. Miranda is as cool as the champagne chilling on ice. LUTHOR Congratulations, Miranda. I'm the first to admit when I've made a mistake. (beat) I hope you've given my offer some consideration. MIRANDA I've done nothing _but_ think about it. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 40. 74 CONTINUED: 74 MIRANDA (CONT'D) Of course, there are plenty of others who'd be willing to offer me a tidy sum for my formula. LUTHOR True, but _I'm_ offering you a full partnership. Fifty-fifty. MIRANDA Seventy-thirty. LUTHOR Sixty-forty. MIRANDA Done. LUTHOR Good. Now, come. A toast. To you. To your brilliant success. And... to our new partnership. Luthor moves to open the champagne, pops the cork. Miranda reaches into her bag, pulls out an atomizer. She sprays it on herself, then, in Lex's direction. He turns, walking into the spray, wincing, but paying it no mind as he hands Miranda her glass of champagne. MIRANDA To us. They drink. Miranda watches him -- no reaction. LUTHOR I'm a bit concerned about the temporary nature of the perfume. Forty-eight hours isn't much time. MIRANDA I'm only using a one percent solution. In its purest form, 'Revenge' would cause a total * and _permanent_ breakdown of all inhibitions. LUTHOR Excellent. Luthor turns to pour himself another glass. Miranda walks up behind him, puts her arms around his waist. He turns to face her. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 41. 74 CONTINUED: 2 74 MIRANDA (Cont'd) Lex, I had hoped that this would not just be a business partnership, but more... the way it once was between us. LUTHOR I think not, Miranda. I never mix business with other people's pleasure. MIRANDA But now... don't you... feel anything toward me? Luthor thinks about this for a moment, then... LUTHOR No, I don't. (beat) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner date. MIRANDA With Lois Lane? LUTHOR Yes. (beat) Nigel will see you out. We'll talk tomorrow. When Miranda turns around, Nigel is behind her, takes her by the arm. Once again, she's being thrown out. Miranda is crushed, heartbroken. Luthor moves to the phone, dials, humors her on her way out. LUTHOR (Cont'd) Just think, Miranda. Soon the world will bow to our discovery. MIRANDA Yes. soon, Lex. Soon all of Metropolis will feel the pain of love spurned. * Nigel exits with her. Luthor looks up for a moment, wondering about her words, but just as quickly forgets them as we... DISSOLVE TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 42. 75 EXT. LEX LUTHOR'S BALCONY - (NIGHT #3) 75 Luthor and Lois sit at the candlelit table for two. The lights of Metropolis shine below. LOIS It's lovely up here, Lex. LUTHOR I never was much for crowded restaurants. I prefer to eat alone... present company excepted. Lois takes another bite of her salad. Luthor hasn't touched his. He takes her hand, stares at her in a way in which we haven't seen him stare before. LOIS What is it, Lex? Are you feeling okay? LUTHOR Of course. I am _never_ sick. I just... don't think I ever noticed your eyes before. How rich, how deep, like pools of light. A man could drown in those pools. Lois is not quite sure what to make of this. LOIS Huh. Thank you. Luthor releases her hand, tries to shake the feeling. He starts to eat, pours the wine. LOIS (Cont'd) Things have been utterly crazy at the Planet. You wouldn't believe... But Lex has stopped pouring. He's staring at her, _through_ her. Again, he picks up one of her hands, looks at it. LUTHOR Your hands. LOIS What's wrong with my hands? LUTHOR They're so graceful. So delicate. Like fine porcelain. (quoting) 'Imprison her soft hand and let her rave... and feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes...' (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 43. 75 CONTINUED: 75 LOIS You're acting very strange tonight, Lex. (trying to make light) How many glasses of wine did you have before I came? LUTHOR (defensive) None. I never drink alone. And, I am never drunk. I am always in control. Complete... (moving his chair closer to her) You... are... the... most beautiful creature I have ever seen. On Lois, staring very hard at a very different Lex Luthor * we... * WIPE TO: * 76 76 THRU OMITTED THRU 77 77 78 INT. MIRANDA'S STORE - NIGHT 78 Miranda walks the floor, carrying Daru, talking to herself, half out of her mind with jealousy and hatred... MIRANDA All of Metropolis. But how? She continues to wander. Suddenly, she sees something, moves to the trash can, lifts out the same copy of the Daily Planet that she had taken from Lex Luthor's study... On the front page, we notice two things... 79 CLOSE UP - DAILY PLANET NEWSPAPER 79 One headline reads: Fruit Fly Spraying To Continue. The by-line is: Lois Lane. 80 MIRANDA 80 Takes a pair of scissors from her drawer, cuts out the article, puts it on her desk, stares at it, takes a deep breath, smiles. She then moves to a locked closet, opens * it with a key hung around her neck. * (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 44. 80 CONTINUED: 80 From it she removes a large bottle filled with liquid. There are lots of these bottles. The label reads: Revenge - %100 Solution. She next takes a ten gallon can * and begins filling it from the bottles. Daru wanders by, licks at a drip on the floor, and MEOWS. MIRANDA Not now, Daru. She picks the cat up, locks her in her cage. She then returns to her pouring. Suddenly, a cat SCREAM, a SNAP of metal breaking, and a CRASH of shattered glass. Miranda looks... 80A MIRANDA'S POV 8OA The gate to Daru's cage is twisted and broken, as is the window across the room. From outside, another mating SCREAM. 80B MIRANDA 80B MIRANDA That should do nicely. (beat) Love is in the air. Miranda then takes the scissors and stabs right through the "Lois Lane" as we... FADE OUT. _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 45. _ACT FOUR_ 81 INT. DAILY PLANET - CONFERENCE ROOM - (DAY #4) 81 The usual suspects convene for the staff meeting. Things are back to normal: the standard grumpy, miserable, caffeine-guzzling crowd. Clark follows Lois inside. CLARK How was your date? LOIS Very... interesting. CLARK What does that mean? LOIS Well, Lex wasn't quite... himself. CLARK That must have been a welcome relief... did you find out anything else about Miranda? LOIS No. Jimmy enters, hands Lois a note. JIMMY Just delivered. LOIS Thanks. (beat) Hey, how're you doing? JIMMY Back to normal. Just plain old Jimmy. Lois opens the note, reads. 82 CLOSE UP - HAND WRITTEN NOTE 82 "Dear Lois, if you want to know everything about 'Revenge,' I will speak to you alone, woman to woman. * Meet me at..." 83 LOIS 83 looks up, sees Clark staring at her. * (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 46. 83 CONTINUED: 83 CLARK Anything? LOIS (glances back at note) * Nope. Nothing at all. Perry walks in and sits down, rummages though his papers. Rehalia enters to empty the trash. The room silences as she and Perry exchange polite nods. Clark leans in to Perry. CLARK I assume everything is... PERRY She dropped the lawsuit. CLARK And Alice? PERRY Let me back in. On a trial basis. (beat) Son, don't ever beg a woman to take you back. Chances are, they will. Perry looks around the table at the donut-eating, coffee drinking staffers. PERRY (Cont'd) What is this, the Betty Crocker bake off? Let's get started. Lois, thanks for the fruit fly re-write. Now, you and Clark are working on that pheromone thing, right? 84 JIMMY'S POV - THE PIT 84 April enters, moves to Cat's desk and sits down. 85 JIMMY 85 gets up, starts to exit... JIMMY I gotta go, Chief. I gotta talk to her. PERRY Not on my time you don't. Jimmy exits. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 47. 85 CONTINUED: 85 PERRY Jimmy! Blast that kid. Lois turns to Cat. LOIS How much of that stuff did you get sprayed with? You became pretty insatiable, even for, well, _you_. CAT I don't know what you're talking about. I _never_ got sprayed. * (beat) But, I know a good excuse when I * hear one. * PERRY You know, this whole experience reminds me when Elvis first laid eyes on Priscilla. She was only a girl, but whoa Nellie... 86 INT. THE PIT - SAME TIME 86 Jimmy comes out of the conference room and approaches April. JIMMY April, I wanted to explain... APRIL No explantion necessary. I meet creeps like you every day. JIMMY But that's the point. I'm not a creep. I'm Jimmy Olsen, would-be famous photojournalist. All around nice guy. All around... nobody. I'm sorry I came on to you like that. I wasn't... myself. April looks at him, smiles. APRIL You know, it's too bad. JIMMY What? APRIL Well, for a nobody, you're kinda cute. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 47A. 86 CONTINUED: 86 The staff meeting is over, and the group piles out from the conference room, stops to look at Jimmy with April. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 48. 86 CONTINUED: 86 April notices the crowd form, grabs a hold of Jimmy's shirt, pulls him toward her, kisses him on the lips. When she finishes, she walks into a waiting elevator. When Jimmy turns around to face the pit, they erupt in APPLAUSE. 87 AT LOIS' DESK 87 Lois grabs her stuff. LOIS (innocently) I'm going to run a few errands. See you later. Clark stares after her. WIPE TO: 88 INT. LEX LUTHOR'S STUDY - DAY 88 Lex, still dressed in his dinner clothes from the previous evening with Lois, awakes with a start from his chair. He puts his hand to his forehead -- also feeling like he's got a hangover. Nigel enters with a large bowl and pitcher. NIGEL Good morning, sir. We thought it best not to wake you when you dozed off. LUTHOR (still groggy) I've slept here all night? NIGEL Yes, sir. Was I wrong to... LUTHOR No, no. (beat) Ms. Lane? What time did she... NIGEL She left early sir, if you'll recall. I drove her home. LUTHOR Yes, yes... I am beginning to recall... (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 49. 88 CONTINUED: 88 Luthor gets up, walks toward the bowl as Nigel pours the sparkling water into it, and stands at the ready with a towel. Luthor cups his hands into the water, splashing it on his face. As he cups and gets ready to splash once more, it suddenly all comes back to him in dreamy FLASHBACK... his dinner with Lois... hearing the spray * from the atomizer behind him... remembering Miranda's words... "All of Metropolis will know the pain of love." Luthor looks at Nigel. LUTHOR (Cont'd) Send for my valet. I need to dress and leave immediately. NIGEL To the board room, sir? LUTHOR No. To the Daily Planet. I have to find him. NIGEL Who? LUTHOR Superman. On Luthor's hasty exit we... WIPE TO 89 EXT. PRIVATE AIRPORT - HANGAR - DAY 89 Lois pulls up in her car, walks into the open hangar. A plane is ready for take-off. Big barrels of the fruit fly spray, malathion, are in evidence. LOIS (calling out) Miranda? Miranda appears out of nowhere. She's wearing a black jumpsuit, with a long aviator scarf and goggles. MIRANDA Lois. Good of you to come. I have everything all ready for you. LOIS Ready? MIRANDA Yes. Of course, it was rather difficult, replacing the malathion with my formula. * (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 50. 89 CONTINUED: 89 LOIS I don't understand. * MIRANDA No, dear, you don't. But soon you * will. Then, you'll die slowly, * painfully. * (beat) Love hurts. * Lois looks into another part of the hangar, sees several workmen and a pilot lying unconscious on the ground. She turns to Miranda, who takes out a different atomizer from her pocket and sprays Lois, who starts to cough. * LOIS Why me? Lois starts to lose consciousness, falls to the floor. * Miranda kneels beside her. * MIRANDA Just jealous, I guess. If I can't * have Lex, nobody can. * 90 INT. DAILY PLANET - PIT 90 Clark stands to greet Luthor as he approaches his desk. LUTHOR Where's Lois? CLARK She went to run an errand. What's going on? LUTHOR Well, I wanted to apologize to her for my behavior last night. CLARK What behavior was that? LUTHOR That's not important now. The important thing is... Miranda. CLARK You do know her. LUTHOR Yes. She was working under my auspices. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 50A. 90 CONTINUED: 90 LUTHOR (CONT'D) Last night she sprayed me with her pheromone compound to make me fall in love with her, but it backfired and somehow when Lois came in... CLARK What exactly went on last night? LUTHOR Again, that's _not_ _important_ The important thing is we have to get to Superman. CLARK Superman? LUTHOR Yes. He's the only one who can stop her. The entire city is in danger. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 51. 90 CONTINUED: 2 90 LUTHOR (CONT'D) Yesterday Miranda made a threat. I believe she's planning on releasing her 'Revenge' all over Metropolis. * Can you imagine... an entire city in love? * CLARK At least it'd wear off in 48 hours. LUTHOR Not if she uses %100 percent solution. That's permanent. CLARK (seeing the future) Emotions run wild. Love turns to despair, depression, hatred... LUTHOR Sodom and Gomorrah. A city without restraint. CLARK Without morality. (beat) I'll fax the police, give them Miranda's description, then get to Superman... somehow. Clark races' off, disappears into another area of the newsroom. Luthor stands there a moment, then Jimmy walks by, points to his watch. JIMMY Almost four. Make sure to get those pets inside. LUTHOR (distracted) What? JIMMY The fruit fly spraying. Starts at four. It'll be all over the city. Luthor nods, then freezes, then races toward the elevators as we... WIPE TO: --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 52. 91 EXT. SKYLINE ABOVE METROPOLIS 91 Superman, using his telescopic vision, desperately searches the city... 92 EXT. PRIVATE AIRPORT - DAY 92 As the plane taxis down the runway, a very groggy Lois wakes to find herself hanging over a vat. A sign above it reads: Toxic Malathion. Hand-lettered below the sign is * a note which reads: "Bye Lois. Have a nice, _slow_ * death. Love, Miranda." The noise that woke Lois was the * pulley starting up, now slowly lowering her into the deadly chemicals. She starts SCREAMING. 93 EXT. IN THE AIR - DAY 93 Superman hears Lois' screams, swoops down. 94 EXT. PRIVATE AIRPORT - HANGAR - MOMENTS LATER 94 Lois is about to reach the toxic mixture when Superman lands. Superman pushes the vat aside, then melts the * rope with _HEAT VISION_. Lois falls into his arms. Just * then, Lex's limo pulls up, with the police right behind. SUPERMAN Are you all right? LOIS Yes, now I am. But... the plane. She's going to spray the city! Superman _LEAPS_ up into the air. Lois joins Lex and the police, who all look skyward. 95 EXT. LOIS AND LEX'S POV - THE SPRAY PLANE (STOCK) 95 Superman _FLASHES_ across the sky, chasing the plane. 96 INT. PLANE - SAME TIME 96 Miranda pilots. Suddenly, from outside on the wing, a * THUD. The plane tips momentarily. She looks out the * window, sees Superman. She reaches for the release lever... starts releasing the spray. 97 EXT. PLANE - SAME TIME 97 Superman _FLIES_ behind the plane, twists the release * valve to plug it up. A small amount of the spray already released is _INHALED_ by Superman. --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 53. 98 OMITTED 98 99 INT. PLANE - MOMENTS LATER 99 Miranda stretches her head out the window, desperately trying to locate Superman. She glances down at the controls for a moment, and when she looks back, Superman is now hanging outside her window, his face directly in line with hers. He smiles, then blows a tiny whiff of the formula he inhaled at Miranda. Miranda starts to cough, * then, looks out the window, stares at Superman in a very different way... MIRANDA (dreamily) Superman. Where are you going? SUPERMAN Why don't you follow me? MIRANDA Anywhere. CUT TO: 100 EXT. PRIVATE PLANE AIRPORT - LATER 100 Superman carries Miranda off the plane and into the waiting hands of the police. Lois rushes up to him. LOIS Superman... it's lucky that stuff doesn't have any effect on you... or does it? Superman thinks about this for a moment, turns his back to Lois, breaks into a smile, then loses it and turns back * to Lois. SUPERMAN Lois Lane. I love you. LUTHOR Oh, no. Lois, don't... LOIS Oh, Superman. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say those words. But you're not yourself, and so I couldn't take advantage of this situation and... oh, what the... Lois throws herself into his arms and they kiss passionately. Luthor is thoroughly disgusted. (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Pink Rev. 10/18/93 54. LUTHOR I _may_ throw up. The police lead Miranda away. She calls out to Superman and Luthor. MIRANDA Don't let them take me! I love you, Superman. No, wait, I love _you_ Lex. Will you wait for me? LUTHOR (considering, then...) No. The police put her in the squad car. Luthor looks at * Superman. LUTHOR (Cont'd) Will Miranda be permanently ... ? * SUPERMAN No, I diluted it. It'll wear off * soon. Now, if you'll excuse me, * Ms. Lane. * (beat) I've got to fly. And he does. _UP, UP, AND AWAY_ as we... WIPE TO: 101 INT. LUTHOR'S STUDY - DAY 101 Luthor sits at his desk, burning one-thousand dollar bills. NIGEL Sir, is everything all right? LUTHOR No. Nigel. Something terrible's happened. Something catastrophic. NIGEL The collapse of the world financial market? LUTHOR No, Nigel. Worse. Far worse. Luthor stands, walks over to the balcony, looks out at the city below him. --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 55. 101 CONTINUED: 101 LUTHOR (Cont'd) Not like you, or any other average person perhaps, but in my own strange, and perverted sort of way, I've... succumbed. I'm in love. Hopelessly, eternally. I'm in love with Lois Lane. * NIGEL It's the perfume, sir. Your mind * is clouded. * LUTHOR No, Nigel, I'm _really_ in love. * I'm doomed. * WIPE TO: 102 INT. DAILY PLANET PIT - DAY 102 Lois and Clark take their coffee break in the eating area. LOIS Incredible. Love without boundaries, without insecurities or hangups or reasoning. You could be swept off your feet by just about... anybody. CLARK Your problem, Lois, is that you can't admit your true feelings. LOIS That's ridiculous. (beat) Okay, maybe somewhere, buried incredibly deep inside me, is some eensy weensy, microcosmic although highly unlikely possibility that I could feel some sort of unmotivated and completely unrealistic attraction to you. CLARK As long as you're being honest with yourself, Lois. LOIS I even figured out why I was blind enough to think _you_ looked like Superman. CLARK Oh, really? And why was that? (CONTINUED) --page break-- PHEROMONE, MY LOVELY (#9) Blue Rev. 10/14/93 56. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOIS Simple. Every woman in love thinks her man looks like Superman. Lois stands and walks away, leaving Clark to shake his head and stare, wondering if love _will_ eventually conquer all. In the meantime, all we can do is... FADE OUT. _END OF ACT FOUR_